Mal Duane Coach

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Archives for May 2013

The Life Recovery Formula: Will Power + Initiative = Accomplishment

bigstockphoto_accomplishment_-_road_sign_273784811The moment you were created you were filled with your own personal will power. As a young child you asserted yourself frequently with such expressions as No! and Mine! You fully grasped the feeling of using your will power. At three years old you could probably express your boundaries better than you do today! Slowly, life started to chip away at your will power by others telling you to be good, be quiet and good little girls don’t do that. Sadly, that free will turned into reservation, self- doubt and in many cases, fear. Your will power to be an individual and express concerns and desires became clouded over by the crap that others were saying to you. Many of the things said to you were invalid and self-serving for the other person.

Feeling like you can’t trust your very own instincts, needing to “check with” other people and procrastinating on decisions are signs that you need to go to work to build up self-confidence and begin to take action, even if you feel unsure.

Want to take that will power back, restore your self-expression to where you want it? Well you can, by eliminating those negative beliefs that no longer apply to the woman you are today. By creating a small worksheet and writing out those limiting beliefs, you can analyze what is true and what is false. When we write, we develop clarity that we otherwise might not see. You also are removing the thoughts from your mind and putting them on paper, which is in itself a cleansing process. You can just write freely in your journal about all the negative stuff that comes up when you think about the desire to assert yourself in a specific situation. The truth will emerge for the steps to take and the words to use. That is when you take initiative to create what you want.

You never lose your power, it just gets buried. Start today looking within and digging for that authentic voice, that will power and watch the miracles unfold.

Live Faithfully,
Mal

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Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, CBS Radio, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over one hundred Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

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Girls in Recovery

My Journey by Tracy Jo from Serenity House

I really need this burden lifted

Through these ashes I‘ve already sifted

Every bridge already burnt,

So many others still really concerned

Much needed relief is seen near to grasp

Trying to move forward letting go of my past

To be comforted is greatly needed

A reality hits me knowing my journey was damn near completed.

Breaking old habits is nothing more than complicated

Good behaviors from bad are still being separated

My confidence is growing with evidence slightly showing

Needed still a lot more work, even now styling a smirk

A break shines through with still more to do

My happiness begins clear and just for a moment

My sadness will disappear

Holding the truth for this life long battle

Expecting the fact I just begun to climb back

Even getting help I began to realize

The person you see is no longer in disguise.

Today my life I completely take back

Getting it together, I hope to keep it on track.

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Life Recovery Formula: Awareness + Acceptance = Serenity

“Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.”                        -William James

Human-Acceptance-It’s not life’s experiences that are causing your pain and suffering, it is your resistance to them. The harder you push, the greater the discomfort. You set yourself up for disappointment by having unrealistic expectations. You get so stuck in your own ideas and notions on how something should be.

Many of the expectations you form are based on past experience and not on your current reality. You may have been hurt in the past which left deep emotional scars on your heart.  However, that does not mean that everything that happens from that point will have the same impact or turnout. You desperately try to manipulate the situation and rather than let it unfold, you try to control the outcome to no avail.

The mini me voice in your head is constantly advising you, and most times commanding you, to do things a certain way. You have heard enough “shoulds” to last a lifetime. How do you stop this mini war between you and the egotistical you that instructs, tries to control and pushes back? You need to stop “shoulding” on yourself now! Open your mind and heart to the flow of life instead of trying to swim against the current.

Acceptance will release you from the painful resistance and start to connect you with your current reality in a comforting way. If you look at things through the eyes of acceptance, you will recognize that old fears and perceptions were controlling your decisions and connection to those around you. Accept people the way they are, don’t try to fit them into a preconceived mold that you think is acceptable. You will notice that your connections will deepen and you will naturally feel closer to people.

Learn to relax, utilize a spiritual practice to help you connect with your inner truth. As you relax, the resistance dissolves and your life becomes measurably more enjoyable. Once we recognize our resistance and release it, we actually have more input in the desirable outcome of events that are important to us. Learning this skill is crucial to our success. It is the starting point for learning to be calm and negotiate, stops us from sabotaging new and rewarding relationships and setting boundaries instead of withdrawing and/or internalizing anger and powerlessness.

Three steps to get into the flow.

1. Become aware of your feelings/fears about the situation you are dealing with.

2. Are you reacting to the current situation or are your feelings surfacing from a past event?

3. Acknowledge the current situation and stay fully present in the moment. What can you be grateful for right now?

Life can be so much easier than you make it, if you become aware of your feelings and discern if they are justified.

 

Live Faithfully,
Mal

If you like our content sign up here for updates and a free gift!

 


Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, CBS Radio, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over one hundred Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

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