Mal Duane Coach

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Archives for December 2014

My Biggest Gift this Year.

wrapped gift2014 has presented me with some of my greatest challenges. These painful and disruptive experiences, which I call lessons from earth school have inspired me to reach a new level of personal growth and self-reflection.

I must admit there were times that I didn’t feel like being compassionate and forgiving of unacceptable behavior. I wanted to say F-off or better yet hit my opposition with a barrage of insults. Instead, I walked away slowly and thought things through. I listened to my head instead of my bruised ego.

I have been pushed and pulled this year in directions I never thought possible. In the midst of these internal emotional hurricanes, I understood that living my truth, being who I am and not ignoring my boundaries was the path I needed to take.

There are people in my life that I have loved but they are no longer in alignment with my mission and my desire to serve women who are emotionally wounded. In some way I threaten them because I choose not to conform to their demands of me.

Do I really want to stop in the midst of fulfilling my divine purpose on this planet to ease the wounded ego of someone who deep down probably doesn’t like me much anyway?

I started this journey three years ago when I released my book. I have met thousands of women with extraordinary stories who have faced fear and allowed their pain to propel them to living with purpose. As we grow spiritually we shed layers, similar to a caterpillar becoming a butterfly. I feel my wings spreading, my heart’s desire becoming more real each day. I have a purpose while I am here to help women heal and reclaim their lives. I am not going to quit just because I am challenged, insulted, mistreated or emotionally bullied.

This year I discovered that I am stronger than I ever thought I could be. I am more loving in the most compassionate way. I know how to truly forgive others and myself.

I have developed an awareness to make choices that empower me but do not cripple others.

My work is about collaboration, not competition. I feel the grace of the Holy Spirit around me, guiding me. My intentions are for the highest and best outcome for all parties involved.

I can feel my emotional and spiritual growth. My anger is short lived. I do not need to win or be right. I just want to walk away with peace of mind. Tomorrow when I wake up I will be calm and feel complete. I will know that I did the very best I could the day before. I feel comfortable I took the high ground and stayed out of the muddy fields of revenge and cruel attacks on the individuals that challenged me. I send them love instead to heal the wounds that are buried so deep within them that they don’t know they exist.

Courage to do the right thing regardless…is the greatest gift I have received this year.

In what ways did you grow this year? I would love to hear what spiritual muscles you strengthened this year.

Love and Live Faithfully,

Mal

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Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, CBS Radio, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over one hundred Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

 

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A Tug of War Always Takes Two!

ginny-pigsYesterday I was puttering around my home and starting to take out some Christmas decorations when someone I love called me with a request. Immediately I knew it wasn’t really a request but more of an emotional confrontation. I could feel the pull on the imaginary rope in my hands. My body started to bend slightly toward them. I was listening to their point of view, their perception of a situation. Meanwhile I am thinking where the hell is this coming from? Obviously my perception was very different. In fact I was completely caught off balance by this recent tug on the rope of emotional connection between us.

I started to pull on my side just a bit to keep my balance while I processed what I was hearing. The crazy Mal from years ago would have dragged their ass down the street without even thinking. Was this the truth as I knew it? Is the other person showing me a scenario that is clouded by their perception or is it my reality? I was holding on while all these thought ran through my mind. I knew that I had been very compassionate with them. In fact I prayed for guidance daily because the relationship had become so challenged. Deep within me, my intention was very clear. I wanted to maintain a presence of grace and love in all my actions and honor my boundaries at the same time.

After they left, I made my intentions very clear in a follow up email. I was not buying into their emotional drama. They can have their perception and I can have mine. I am not responsible for what they think or feel. I choose not to engage in this conflict but instead to release the rope and walk away.

Afterwards it hit me how simple this three step process was for dealing with emotional conflict.

  1. Maintain balance: Listen without over reacting to the other person’s opinion or position on what they experienced.
  2. Think: What is your truth in this situation? Is your perception coming from your heart or your head where there is a hot button called ego.
  3. Release: Let go of the tension in the rope that is holding the both of you in conflict. Respond from your heart and walk away.

It feels amazingly empowering not to be engaged in unconscious conflict.

Just because someone invited you into an argument doesn’t mean you have to show up!

Faithfully,

Mal

If you like our content sign up here for updates and a free gift!


Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, CBS Radio, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over one hundred Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

 

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