Good morning beautiful!
Whatever you resist, persists. – Have you ever heard this saying?
It means whatever you are trying to push away or deny, is gonna show up somehow. An example of this is with emotional eating. A friend of mine kept latching on to this phrase for some reason, always telling
herself, I don’t have an issue with this. But this phrase kept popping into her brain. And little by little she began to listen to the voice. And then as she opened the door a little bit, she began to notice that yes, sometimes she would snack not out of genuine hunger but out of boredom, anxiety or the inability to fall asleep. Only then was she able to see her buried emotions and feelings. And boy do we not want to feel our feelings sometimes.
For me, I really have to be present, aware and VERY self-loving to be able to tap into my inner self and what is going on with me. If I don’t, and I resist these feelings or messages from the Universe, they will make themselves known – be it through a migraine, a fall, a forgotten appointment. We have so much to deal with as very sensitive human beings and our emotional health is just as complex and needs just as much care and monitoring as our physical health—although our society is just catching up with these ideas and the culture is finally adopting some healing concepts such as mindfulness and vulnerability as strength.
Unfortunately, just because you stick your head in the sand doesn’t mean that whatever is going on just disappears. Similarly, trying to be a size 2 or the perfect wife won’t hush the voices reminding you of something your mother constantly told you you weren’t great at. The trick is to listen to those voices and then feel the feelings attached to them. Yoga can really help with this process of listening to learn to love ourselves.
“No amount of self-improvement can make up for a lack of self-acceptance.”
– Anonymous
What I am really referencing is the powerful practice of acceptance. Sounds simple but our ego and defenses try to protect us from feeling hurt or rejected, because when we were younger and dependent on our caregivers for survival, it was too scary to hear such criticisms or in some cases very hurtful or outright abusive statements. When you accept something you acknowledge that it is true, that it has happened. You are not judging it as right or wrong but just as is. However we put ourselves through unnecessary suffering and anguish by resisting. This ultimately causes more pain than the original event. We can’t change the facts but we can change the meaning we assign to them and therefore, move past them.
One of our biggest challenges is accepting things about ourselves. We can tolerate ungodly things from others but wow do we beat ourselves up over the smallest things. Whatever you did yesterday or a year ago has no bearing on who you are today. So along with our resistance to what is comes a whole lot of judgement. Now we add our personal perspective to the equation and things can get really ugly.
As Brene Brown says, “You either walk inside your story and own it or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.”
Acceptance takes practice. However once you get it life becomes increasingly easier on you! It doesn’t mean you are letting someone off for their inappropriate behavior. With acceptance, you are no longer consumed by what they did and now you can move on in a more constructive manner with your life.
This work isn’t for the fainthearted. But the rewards are so worth it!! You can have peace of mind and a forgiving and loving relationship with yourself, which can free you up to take on a new challenge or creative project-the world can open up in incredible ways! Step two of my transformational coaching process is Acceptance. If you would like to learn Acceptance and work with me on a personal one-on-one level, please reach out malduane@gmail.com.
Live Faithfully,
Why is it that most of us struggle with love at various times in our lives?