Archives for May 2017

Remembering Loved Ones

It was Memorial Day this past weekend and everywhere you looked or read there were posts about remembering our service men and women who gave their lives for their country. What mixed emotions for their families. They are so proud of their sacrifice and yet still feel the pain of their loss.

There is also remembering those that we loved who have passed. It can be a span of many years and you still feel the sadness. I went to the cemetery to plant flowers at my mother and father’s grave. I think it is also part of an old religious tradition that I was introduced to as a child when I would accompany my mother to my grandmother’s grave for Memorial Day and Christmas time. I have often joked that if I didn’t go lightning would probably strike my car or a tree close by me as a warning to get my ass over there.

Surprisingly when I got to the cemetery early Sunday morning, it was so busy. There were flags everywhere on the military graves and fresh flowers or plantings on so many others. I am so glad I went. However, I left feeling sad that they are no longer with me but I know they are always in my heart.

When I got home, I decided to meditate which stirred up more feelings of loss for my beautiful niece. I held a tiny little pillow in my hands for about thirty minutes that she gave me for her last Christmas before she died. It was so beautiful, I could feel her presence so close to me. My heart was exploding with love.

I realized something right then. What a beautiful spiritual practice this is to feel a deeper connection to a lost loved one.

If you have someone you would like to “spiritually connect” with, hold a picture or an item that belonged to them.

Close your eyes and just feel the energy of the item in your hand.

Send your love to them.

Visualize a ray of light coming out of your heart and touching the item in your hand.

Embrace the stillness and allow your feelings of love to expand from your heart.

Just be open to anything you feel.

You may want to journal afterwards any thoughts or images that you experienced.

I had a powerful realization that my loved ones are very close to me and I should never feel alone. I may not be able to physically see them but my spiritual eyes can.

I hope you will try this mediation. Be patient and practice.

I am a ray of love to all my friends and family

Journal Prompt: What emotions are emerging from your new meditation?

Denial – The Double Edged Sword

This week while tapping a show with the amazing Dr. Debra Reble, the topic of denial came up.

I never realized what a strong reaction I had to the word. Denial had been the thread that stitched my life together for many years until I was ready to face my truth. Facing the truth can be scary for you but I promise you will never regret it. It frees you from the bondage you placed on yourself. When you can’t live life, and be who you are meant to be, you rob the Universe of love. Fact is- you can’t give out love unless you are YOU ! What do you think you give out when you pretend to be otherwise?

The most powerful thing you can do for yourself is stop denying and start accepting your life just the way it is. I have said it before but I think it needs to be repeated. Life is a classroom and we all have lessons to learn. Every shitty situation is just a lesson you need to learn. Look at your lessons and see what is in each one that you need to learn.

The flip side of denial is when someone looks you right in the eye and denies what they have done or said. It makes me insane. I can feel it throughout my body. Do you feel utterly disrespected when someone you love denies the truth to you? Do they really think you don’t know better? It breaks the potential for trust. It creates dis-ease between two people.

Such a small word with such destructive consequences no matter what side you are on.

Time to eliminate denial from your life.

Are you afraid to step up and live your truth? Please reach out and use the link to schedule a laser coaching call for 15 minutes. We can tackle any situation together.

Next Monday 5/29 on my Podcast Awakening Divine Wildness is Darlene Lancer. Holy crap, what an education about dealing with a narcissist! This hits home for so many women. I know we all have known one.

No topic is ever off the table. I have pretty much experienced everything a woman can in one lifetime and I’m not afraid to talk about it. I gave up denial along time ago. No chains on this chick!

Tap Into Your Awareness

It is probably not something you give much thought to but you should.

Awareness is everything and without it nothing happens. Janet Rigsby who teaches the lessons of the Pathworks said this the other day in an online class.

Until you can sit quietly and allow your awareness to just expand, you cannot have a deeper exploration of your experiences. You will not make positive changes in your life.

Last week I wrote about the experience of my heart being broken open. Feeling like I had a made a mistake in getting married. You know what I learned when I sat still and just listened after my divorce?

Maybe the mistake I made was not listening to my body/intuition early in the relationship.
Not trusting myself but instead dismissing my gut feeling and thinking I was being too sensitive.

When I think back, I was spot on with some of my concerns. My ego told me I was insecure but my body told me there was something very wrong going on.

Now I pay attention to everything that comes up for me when I am just being aware and allowing my thoughts and feelings to flow. I can see where I have tried to rationalize things, or when I have deceived myself. Being present allows me to drop any resistance to what is or has been and just get into a state of acceptance. The less resistance I feel, the more power I have to make different choices. Acceptance is such as freeing experience and leads to many more positive emotions.

I have discovered by being more aware, I am able to forgive. I am cutting the chords that keeps my heart attached to anything that no longer serves me or my future growth. I have been able to forgive the most painful experience of my life, the betrayal in my marriage. Honestly, it wasn’t easy. It took daily work to get to a place of peace in my mind and body. It breaks my heart to see so many women who are still consumed with anger from their divorces which may have happened years before. Carrying the anger and resentment will ultimately compromise your health. You are shutting down the possibility for future happiness.

I love this image with a quote from Mark Twain. Save it to your computer.

I was deeply touched by another woman’s comments the other day when I interviewed her for my podcast. She said “Mal, you look genuinely very happy with your life. I follow you on Facebook.” I am happy. I love myself more today than I did before. I want the same thing for other women who have experienced divorce. As I said last week, your expectations/life may have changed but you are the same glorious soul. Nothing can take that away.

I received so many beautiful emails thanking me for being so honest about my own pain. It gave other women the courage to share what they are going through. I was deeply moved by their stories and have reached out personally to each one to talk.

I love this quote by Eckert Tolle “Rather than being your thoughts and emotions, be the awareness behind them.”

Here is your mantra for this week: I am fully aware today!

A great journaling prompt to go with it: What past experience is trying to control my present thoughts?