Mal Duane Coach

Archives for April 2019

3 Tips for Healing After Emotional Turmoil

I am feeling so much love for all the women who have trusted me and purchased Broken Open. 

Every word, every lesson in the book is intended to lift you up from feelings of unworthiness and heartache.

Emotional pain is a very strong energy that can consume you without you really being aware.

It slowly sucks the life out of you and then ultimately,  your ability to make rational decisions.

You end up being triggered, highly reactive and making poor choices.

Decisions driven by anger and resentment get you more of the same. It’s a vicious cycle. In the book I offer many practices to help you recognize when you are stuck in that dark place and things to do to get out of it. 

You never want to make big decisions while under the throes of emotional craziness.

Step back, breath and take some time to reconnect with your body and get out of your screaming head. 

Put your hands over your heart and tell the wounded little girl inside you that you have got this. 

Let her know there is nothing to fear.

Sadly, you can’t change a situation after you have blurted out in anger your irrational demands.

After the book launch, I went straight to Kripalu to decompress from all the magnificent energy of birthing Broken Open,  I spent the weekend in a class with one of my favorites, Matt Kahn who teaches love heals everything. 

Here are  few of his key takeaways:  

3 Tips for Healing After Emotional Turmoil

  1. You can’t create healing for yourself when you're stuck in judgment
  2. If you don’t have what you want, it must not be what you need.
  3. When you take time to love yourself, you have that much more to give to the world.

What do you think of his tips? Comment below and share! 

 

5 Ways to Heal Stronger After Heartbreak

In my darkest moments, I never envisioned that I would write a book.

When I was in the midst of the massive shit storm I experienced, I never imagined what the future could bring, least of all a new book.

Some days it was hard to just get out of bed.

Early on I was in my “why me”, victim mentality mindset.

I had covered over my feelings for so long that it was now time to be honest about what I was feeling.

However, I didn’t stay there too long because it didn’t seem to help.

I knew my heart was broken. What was I going to do? 

That question seemed so overwhelming at first but as the days went by and I kept asking myself, what can I do…an awful lot of answers started showing up. 

That was the beginning of the arduous journey of moving from the darkest day in my life to healing my shattered heart.

The more I questioned myself, the more truth I uncovered about me.

 I realized I had buried so many things in my life that potentially impacted how I looked at my marital situation now. I had old beliefs, old love stories that were judging my current experience.

Looking to myself for attainable solutions was the wisest thing I did.

Expecting someone else to do something, to make me feel better, to make things right - was a losing proposition.

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Broken Open: Embracing Heartache and Betrayal as Gateways to Unconditional Love is a powerful guide showing you how to heal your heart. Through the process of self-inquiry, I discovered a pathway to healing my heart and so you can you...

5 Ways to Heal Stronger After Heartbreak 

  1. Ask yourself the tough questions to get to and uncover your truth.
  2. Take small actionable steps to strengthen yourself.
  3. Remember, you are not the experience-it has no bearing on your value as a woman
  4. Someone else’s actions are about the void in them
  5. Forgiveness is the only path to freedom

Meeting so many women who were suffering from betrayal and heartache inspired me to do the deep work so that I could find a way to heal ourselves.

My greatest wish is that you find wholeness and happiness again or share it with a friend in need.  It is possible…I am living proof.

How has heartbreak made YOU stronger?  Comment below and share your story!

 

The Important Trick for Manifesting Your Desires

You have desires, I have desires.

Are they based on real needs or just egoic wants?

How attached are you to the outcome of your desires?

 Will you be disappointed if you don’t get your desires or surrender to the idea of a greater plan at work here for the highest and best for everyone. The more questions I asked myself, the deeper I went in putting the pieces together of a puzzling concept of desires.

Do your desires come from your heart or your head? 

The truth is they come from both.

Heart’s desires which feel more inspirational are value based and usually involve service to others.

Desires from your head are inherently more materialistic and less altruistic, they focus on your needs.

Desires that are less about immediate gratification but more about long term fulfillment bring a higher-level of reward or happiness. 

Material or self-centered desires can have a less success and bring more unhappiness or deep disappointment if they don’t happen.

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The big lesson here is to be very clear on your desires.

Here are some journaling prompts to help you get clear on your desires:

  • Why do you want what you desire?
  • What is the part of you that is wanting it? (head or heart)
  • Who will benefit from your desire?
  • How will you feel if you don’t get it?

If you answer these questions honestly, you will know if you must have it.

It also gives you an opportunity to reframe or modify what you are putting out for the Universe to deliver.

Being very clear about the ability to get it or let it go so you don’t end up disappointed, can be very helpful in the manifesting process.

The less attachment, the easier it is for the Universe to deliver. Remember asking for similar or something better leaves you with many more options.

Having a methodical and confident way to look at your desires will save a lot of disappointment in the future. Remember, disappointment is a result of your attachment to outcome or failed expectations.

Continue to dream big my lovely and may all your desires come through.

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What are you doing to manifest your desires?  Comment below and tell me!