Mal Duane Coach

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Archives for December 2019

Meet Mari McCarthy, Chief Empowerment office of CreateWriteNow.com


I want to let you know how much I value our friendship and what a gift you are in my life.  It fills my heart to bring you information and resources that you can use to create magic in your life. Almost all of my offerings are free or have a minimal cost associated with it. I believe you don’t have to spend a fortune to have amazing support tools on your journey of personal transformation.

Well if you haven’t heard yet, 2020 is supposed to be an incredibly powerful year as you kick off not only a new decade but a new astrological era.  I love astrology and follow several people online who uniformly say the past decade was a bit tumultuous. However, it was all about building a foundation for what is to come. This year is a threshold for you to leave the old stuff behind so you can create room for the new.

2020 means perfect vision, knowing what you want and taking the action steps necessary to make it happen. You can’t just sit back, it’s now all about personal implementation.

How do you get that clarity and know exactly what you need to do?

The most powerful tool I know of is journaling. You can cut through the mental chatter and clutter to become laser-focused on what really matters to you.

I’ve been journaling for about twenty years. Every time I do it consistently, life feels a whole lot easier because I develop a sacred conversation with my soul. I’m excavating what is really important and discarding the meaningless distractions that pull me off my path. I buy these wonderful journals for under $10 at Michael’s crafts. They are great to travel with and hold up all year.

This week’s guest on Awakening Divine Wildness is Mari McCarthy, the founder of CreateWriteNow.com. You will love what she has to say about the power of journaling and how you can use it for healing your body and creating the life you want.

In 2020, I’m going to have another star-studded lineup of guests on the podcast giving you their best spiritual practices, life hacks and strategies for ultimate success.

I feel blessed to serve you, support you and hold you in sacred space throughout the year.
 
Wishing You an Abundance of Joy this Holiday Season!


Listen to the Awakening Divine Wildness podcast by clicking the play button on the audio player below.

 

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Mal Duane Interviews Mari McCarthy

Mal: [00:00:04] Well, I am thrilled about this week’s guest. Mari McCarthy is the Founder and Chief Empowerment Officer of Create Write Now, and that’s a W-R-I-T-E. She shows health-conscious women how to use the ultimate self-empowerment tool, journaling, for the health of it, to heal the issue in their tissues and to embody and express their true self.

She’s the multi-award-winning author of “Journaling Power: How to Create the Happy, Healthy Life You Want to Live” and “Heal Yourself With Journaling Power”, which I just read and it was fabulous.

She’s also the creator of 20+ life-changing journaling power ebooks such as “Start Changing Your Life”, “Take Control of Your Health”, and “Love Your Body”.

Mari, it’s so great to be with you today!

Mari: Oh, it’s so great to be here. Thank you for inviting me, Mal.

Mal: I love what you write about because I’m a journaler. I’ve included this topic in two of my books. How women can use the simple practice of journaling for clarity, for healing issues, for finding their inner truth – that voice that’s within them. You know, we have so much going on in our heads and that constant nonstop chatter about what’s going on and what we’re doing. And the only way to get to that place of quiet is through sitting down and writing.

So, tell me, what inspired your work? Because you have a very powerful story on how you came about writing.

Mari: [00:02:00] Well, yes, thank you. It is, basically, for me, my story started out—I got to journaling based on a physical therapy need. I had had an MS experience where I lost feeling and function on the right side of my body and I needed a way to teach myself how to write with my left hand. And at that point, I was a high-powered A, a type A business woman that needed a procedure. I felt really, really good about doing it.

So someone introduced me to Julia Cameron’s “Morning Pages” and so I got into journaling via the Morning Pages. The Morning Pages just sit down and just write three pages of whatever, it’s your stream of consciousness. Things, all of a sudden, very shortly, started coming up.

Memories from my childhood. Lots of feeling that I thought I had long forgotten about. All kinds of very interesting things so I was like, “Wow, this is more than physical therapy!” and one of the things I’ve realized in doing the Morning Pages was I always was left-handed and that the nuns changed me. So then, I thought, “Oh my god! This is beyond…” you know, I became left-handed very quickly.

But just being able to get into the childhood and the memories and things like that. I mean, as you know, we all know we had childhood, but it was about because we were taught that stuff, our emotions and feelings, just to move forward with… it was stuck in our subconscious and our issues in our tissues but we just never dealt with it.

But [durably?] provided a therapeutic way to get into me – my emotions, my feelings, my spirituality, my soul and I thought, “Wow!” Since I had to sell my business and I was home living life on my… I just purchased my beachfront home and I thought, “Oh, this is great! So I’m going to set up an Internet business and share my findings with the world.” And that’s what I’ve done and Create Write Now has been an evolution of something that was, you know, the Universe works in mysterious ways! It’s like I needed some physical therapy and got way more than I bargained for.

Mal: [00:04:42] I love it! You really had a very powerful physical feeling from this process as wow?

Mari: Oh, definitely, yes. And it’s continuing today and I’m really now dealing with my cellular level and dealing with issues—spiritual issues—all the things that make up the cellular issue because I’m way past what’s ever going on in my being, my personhood, my body, is way past. It’s never going to show up on an MRI or an XYZ or whatever so it’s something that I have to do myself so journaling is helping me way, way deep down into all my aspects of me and it shows me that we have the power to heal ourselves.

Mal: Yes, yes. And that’s what I think is so wonderful about your book that I read that examples—the people that you included in the stories are amazing! Just absolutely amazing; the physical healings, the mental healings. I was deeply touched by the young man that you included whose mother had committed suicide and that inspired his path and now he has created a journal from then, which was just magnificent.

[00:06:18] So tell me a little bit about how you proceeded from starting this practice for yourself and now finding all these people that are using it, getting all the benefits from it and writing these books. It’s really been your purpose; it’s your passion.

Mari: Indeed! And I attribute it all to my journal because my journal has been my guide, my conduit, my message center. So I get, as I call, messages from the universe. One day, journaling for the health of it just showed up.

I think it gets back to being very clear. It’s like, “Okay, I want to start a successful Internet company from my beachfront home”, and I think you have to be very clear on what you want. And it’s like Ralph Waldo Emerson says, “Once you make a decision, then the universe conspires to make it happen.” So I think that and having the tool of journaling, I just did a lot of Morning Pages—a lot of journaling—and that somehow declutters the energy, whatever, and helps gets clear and one day, the words “Create Write Now” showed up. I was like, “Wow! That’s the name of my company!”

And again, I just go back to my journal is the answer to a woman. Just going through the phase of whenever I feel just writing, just the whole writing process. Don’t have to have an agenda. Don’t have to have a problem. Whatever it is, like I feel just writing a page or whatever it takes and I just trust the process and that’s how I came to write the books, you know, my ebooks as well as my real books.

[00:08:30] I’m a very practical person. I want to have something to share so I didn’t want to get into the whole thing about… I didn’t want to create an Angela’s Ashes, a typical memoir. I came up with the genre, self-help memoirs, to include my story. This is in my first book, “Journaling Power”. My story as well as exercises and practical things that the people can get onboard and join the revolution.

And then for my second book, I thought since more people were coming to me, I was hosting them as guest blogger, I thought, “Wow, I think it’s time to share other people’s stories so the rest of the world knows”. I think people have the perception that it’s “oh, how I spent my day or a diary”. No, this is how people are using the fantastic tool to help them in all aspects of themselves; be it physical; be it emotional; be it mental; be it spiritual; all of the above.

Mal: [00:09:46] Why do people struggle with it? Because it’s a simple process, the benefits of journaling are recognized. You discussed it deeply. I recommend it. I know several other empowerment coaches, transformational coaches, would highly recommend it, yet people—there’s so much resistance and struggle journaling. “Well, I don’t have the time”, you know, that’s nonsense. So how do you get people started?

Mari: Well, first of all, I let people know. It’s that we’re all in the same boat. We came into this world as children with all our talents, creativities, then we got socialized, parentisized, and all that type of thing, and our true self got pushed way, way down.

So we’ve been so much trained or taught and reinforced socially, “Go out there”, “Get this car”, “Go to college”, all that types. So journaling is a huge behavior change. It’s about putting the focus on our “self” and goodness gracious! We were never ever taught to focus on our self. It’s about, “Take care of your brother and sister”. “Make sure your neighbor’s okay”. All that type of thing so everything’s external.

This is brand new behavior change that gets to our core, our spirit—all of us. So that is what it is and we’re so used to living in fear and being controlled by whatsoever or thinking that our life is like, “Okay, it’s genes and I can’t do anything about it so hold on to the thing”, plus the fact we have all, after childhood, we all went into our heads and we’ve been living in our heads. We’re disconnected from our body, Mal!

Mal: I love this!

Mari: [00:11:54] And what journaling does is help us get back into our body.

Mal: Love it! I love it. You know, for me, it’s getting out of my head and getting back into my heart.

Mari: Yes.

Mal: Getting into, not only my heart, my soul where I reconnect with that higher guidance. Call it universe, call it God, call it soul, the Divine Mother, whatever. But there’s another level of communication that we all have that’s available to all of us if we just get quiet and allow it, and journaling is the most beautiful pathway to that consciousness—to that stream of knowledge—that we otherwise don’t access.

When I look back, Mari, at some of the things that I have written in my journals, I go, “Where did that come from? I don’t remember writing that!” And both of the books that I’ve written were like downloads at times. When I went back and read them, it was like, “Oh my gosh! I don’t really remember writing that!” and I used to write in the morning. That would be my creativity time, early in the day. And then I’d review sometimes in the afternoon, I’d be like, “Wow, I don’t really remember that!”

Amazing what just putting… and for me it’s pen to paper, can’t be electronic, can’t be computer. That’s what I want to be clear about. No electronics involved. The old-fashioned way, pen to paper. What are your thoughts on that? Some people, you know…

Mari: [00:13:42] Oh, that’s why I don’t even talk anything… there’s two important thing. There’s only one right way to journal and it’s your way and it needs to be pen to page every day. That’s all I have to say about the guidelines or “what am I supposed to do about journaling?” But that’s it, you’re absolutely right.

I don’t even need to mention that. You’re right. The only right way to journal is pen to page every day. You have to have that consistency. That routine. That discipline because we have to continually be giving to ourselves our self-love. I mean, journaling is self-love, it’s giving back to ourselves because we’ve had a whole lifetime of self-sabotage and self-criticism. We just have to get into a routine that we’re number one 24/7.

Mal: I love the way you’re saying that this is a practice of self-love for women, because, boy, do we need that!

Mari: True.

Mal: We put ourselves at the bottom of the list. We do for everybody else and we do for ourselves last. But when we are depleted emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically, we can’t contribute to life. We cannot really love and support those around us because we have nothing to give. We have depleted ourselves. So if we really want to be there for others, we need to be there for ourselves first.

Mari: Definitely. My favorite hashtag is #mefirst.

Mal: Yes.

Mari: And now having been a journaler for many years, it now makes sense, because, you know how we hear things about “oh yes, you have to take care of yourself before you take care…” or I was thinking about the airplane, put your…

Mal: Put your mask on first.

Mari: We hear all this thing but now I know that’s true because we have to take care of ourselves and we have to always be continually connected and stay connected to, as you said earlier, to our soul and our core because that’s where it’s happening. When you do that, boy, you can save the world like that.

It’s right. What it is, is a big behavior change and it’s just like changing your whole inner thought process. The way you talk to yourself. The way you treat yourself. I heard a quote, something like, “If someone treated you the way you treat yourself, you would have left them a long time ago”. Isn’t that the truth?

We’re all masters of self-sabotage. That’s why, as you said, it must be pen to page and it must be daily in a routine fashion, just like brushing your teeth, taking a shower, as part of your self-health routine and self-love routine.

Mal: [00:17:09] Do you have any thoughts on how long it takes to really establish that practice? Now, ideally, you want to do it every day. But we know that discipline, people are going to waffle on that. So if someone puts the effort in daily, how long do you think it takes, Mari, for it to really become habitual, easy to get up and do, that they really get into the momentum? Is there a timeframe that you recommend?

Mari: It really depends on the person. But I would very much, based on my own experience, venture that if people are open to new experience, if they are curious, if they have an attitude of “let’s see what this is about” as opposed to “Oh…” even considering new thoughts or “okay let’s give this a shot and see where it goes”. I think that that depends.

I would say, some people, as quickly as a month, but for other people it will be a struggle based on their past—their childhood, their upbringing, their life experience. So it’s not inconceivable that if you do it consistently on a daily basis that you will start seeing some changes or some, “Aha!” or “Ooh, where did that come from?” Within a month, you’ll see that, you know…

But also I won’t underestimate the fact that what’s supposed to be happening when you get into that is the fears, the critics, all the old stuff is going to come up and I think that’s why people are going to go, “Oh, I don’t want to go there!” and that’s why people use the excuse, “Oh, I don’t have time.” Yes, all that’s true but the big issue is a “self” thing and that’s something totally different and people are so afraid based on the fact we have been living in our heads and we have thoughts about who we think we are. And who we think we are and who we truly are, are two totally different people.

Mal: Oh, absolutely! Do you have a preferred time a day for journaling? I do it in the morning because I know if I don’t, it’s probably not going to happen later in the day. Sometimes I write some things down at night, quick little ideas or gratitude—things like that that happened during the day, my thoughts on or something I’m grateful for. But what are your thoughts on that?

Mari: [00:20:03] It goes back to what I said earlier. There’s only one right way to journal and it’s your way and I think that’s part of the process. It’s exploring and accepting. “Yeah, I really feel better if I go to a coffee shop and do this” or what works best for me is the train into work or, as you said, with you, if I don’t do it first thing in the morning, it ain’t going to get done, or whatever.

Some people think, or night people, it’s like “oh, it’s much easier for me to do my journaling before I go to bed. Again, it is totally up to whatever… using my favorite four-letter “F” word, “feel”. Whatever you feel like. And again, that’s something new, “Oh, I feel what I wanted. Oh, that’s selfish.” So we go through all those machinations but it’s like that’s what the bottom line is.

With me, it changes. Now, I’m into doing a page in the morning before I do my morning meditation because, like you, if I don’t do it then, either the journaling and/or the meditation will not get done. And then I’ve just gotten into doing a page of what I call night notes before I go to bed just recapping the day of all the lessons, the learnings, the gratitude, whatever, and I find I’m sleeping routinely through the night, 10-6.

Mal: You’re emptying out all that stuff that you’ve been carrying around all day so it’s very therapeutic.

Mari: Yes.

Mal: You’ve had so many guest bloggers tell powerful, powerful stories. Do you have a favorite one?

Mari: I have to say yes and her name is Deb. She’s a lady that has a journaling for probably about 10 years now. She’s been clean and sober for 10 years and she owes that to her journal. Her journal absolutely, positively changed her life and she said that’s her lifeblood, her lifeline. So that’s why I said it shows it can be done. She’s, like I said, clean and sober, 10 years, and the fact that she… and she’s doing it every day, just helped her understand who she was and it’s like, “Damn! I’m good!”

Mal: I totally understand that because I have 30 years of recovery.

Mari: Oh, congratulations!

Mal: And I started, but not consistently, way back when with journaling and what I’ve uncovered early on in my sobriety was that my own thinking is what caused all my suffering. And my suffering, that pain, that’s why I used alcohol to just stop the pain, to stop the craziness, to just feel better about myself and once I understood that, it was like the wound, I didn’t need the band aid anymore. It was easier to write about what I was thinking about and understanding it than drowning myself in vodka trying to kill it. It was huge! So I totally get that! Anybody in recovery, journaling is a powerful, powerful, powerful healing tool that works!

You have a wonderful free offer on your website for the listeners of the show. Would you be so kind as to tell them where to go and what it is.

Mari: Certainly. Go to CreateWriteNow, as Mal said, it’s W-R-I-T-E, .com and on my homepage, there’ll be a dropdown for a free book entitled, “Overcoming Life’s Stresses and Strains with Journaling Power.” And you can sign up and get that and it will introduce you to this wonderful, fantastic world of journaling for the health of it.

Mal: Oh, I love it! Mari, this is great. I’m so thrilled that we connected. I loved your book. I can’t recommend it enough. It should be required reading for the recovery community. Maybe you should write a book about journaling to support recovery or journaling the path to recovery, something like that, because it is so needed.

Mari: Given me some ideas. Thank you.

Mal: Yes, it’s because it works. You know, you have that blogger and now you’ve got Mal, 30 years, and I know that it’s been one of my best tools and when I teach in recovery facilities, two things I tell the women that have absolutely supported me on this path—meditation and journaling.

Meditation, getting that mind quiet. Getting back into myself, really back into my heart and then writing about it.

Mari: Oh, definitely, and I’ve been a consistent meditator now for almost a year and I’m with you. It’s the one-two punch—journaling and meditation—nothing like it in the world and that’s free!

Mal: Yes. That’s the best part. Yeah, I know. People go out and spend all this money on medications and “oh, well if I get the right dress, I’m going to feel better” or the right shoes, or the right handbag. I see women has been worked on picking out a pair of shoes than nurturing themselves.

This is about self-nurture, self-care. And I love the way that you say that it’s a practice of self-love. That is beautiful. I’m going to tweet that after this. I’m going to go and make a Facebook post: “Journaling is a self-love practice” with your name.

Mari: Thank you. It truly is, it’s like constant, continual, ongoing nirvana.

Mal: Well, thank you again so much for coming on today and I hope that we do this again and I love your books. Again, “Journaling Power: How to Create a Happy, Healthy Life You Want to Live” and “Heal Yourself With Journaling Power”. Thank you, Mari McCarthy.

Mari: Oh, thank you, Mal. Have a great day!

Mal: You too!

Mari: Bye.

SHOW NOTES

[00:00:04] Mal introduces guest, Mari McCarthy, Founder and Chief Empowerment Officer of Create Write Now, and an award-winning author of “Journaling Power: How to Create a Happy, Healthy Life You Want to Live” and “Heal Yourself With Journaling Power.”

[00:02:00] Mari talks about how she got into the business of journaling.

[00:09:46] Mari answers why people struggle with journaling.

[00:11:54] Mari shares about the purpose of journaling—getting back to your body out from living in your head.

[00:17:09] The process of journaling—there’s only one right way to do it.

 

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Meet Sherianna Boyle – Author of Emotional Detox for Anxiety

Well, I hope you had a blessed Thanksgiving wherever you were. I traveled to California to sniff out the real estate market for my future home and then went on to Palm Springs to see the grands (grandkids). It is so much fun being with them. However, they are growing up way too fast which is making me feel older. Grandma Mal knows how to get their attention. I always do an ice cream sundae night for them. It’s one of their favorite things.

I realize how blessed I am to have them in my life. I was having a conversation with my granddaughter Lydia that absolutely left me speechless. She told me she was very happy, and I asked her why. She replied, “Grandma Mal it’s because of all the love I have in my heart”. I almost fell of my chair. I said to her “where did you learn that”? She told me she didn’t learn it. It was just the way she felt. I almost cried. The pure joy that they all show, without any inhibition is a gift. 

This time of year is not always a happy one for many people. They can battle deep depression or anxiety about family gatherings. For those that suffer from addiction, this time of year can be really tempestuous.  The constant consumption of food and alcohol happening around them can rattle their sobriety.

The next four weeks are going to be crazy with Christmas and New Year’s for most of you. I start to hibernate in my Zen den, while I’m reading and writing. I love making my sacred mandala for the New Year on the 1st. This year I’m getting ready to move, so there is so much packing and sorting to do. Remember, I AM HERE FOR YOU! If you start to slide emotionally or feel overwhelmed just shoot me an email or PM me on Facebook. I’ll get right back to you. All private sessions are 50% off this month.

This week’s guest on Awakening Divine Wildness is Sherianna Boyle, MED CAGS and she is a real smarty pants!  She is a professor, does workshops at Kripalu and 1440 Multiversity as well as being the author of several bestselling books. Her latest one is “Emotional Detox For Anxiety: 7 Steps to Release Anxiety and Energize Joy”. Honestly, it is one of the best books I have read on this topic. Each chapter has fabulous charts and exercises to do to help you work through your anxiety. Sherianna uses a process called CLEANSE. You’ve gotta jump on the podcast and hear what she has to say.

Listen to the Awakening Divine Wildness podcast by clicking the play button on the audio player below.

 

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Mal Duane Interviews Sherianna Boyle

Mal: [00:05:00] Well, folks, it’s that time of year – Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s all coming up. Now some people call this the holidays. I used to call it hurricane season because it’s not always everything that it’s cut up to be. Some people go through this with grace and ease and others are holding their breath.

Well, today’s guest, Sherianna Boyle, is the author of several books. Really hot topic – anxiety. And her new book, Emotional Detox for Anxiety, will be out in December. We’re going to talk about this. She also has Emotional Detox: 7 Steps for Releasing Toxicity and Energizing Joy. Her book, The Four Gifts of Anxiety, was endorsed by the National Association for Mental Health and Sherianna has been featured as an expert in over 80 articles.

She’s an adjunct professor – Psychology Professor – and founder of Emotional Detox Coaching, the C.L.E.A.N.S.E. Method, which you’re going to learn about today. She’s leading two Emotional Detox retreats this year, one at Kripalu in 2020 in January and the other at the 1440 Multiversity in California.

That’s awesome, girl! Those are huge, wow! She even had a retreat in Portugal earlier this year… oh, excuse me! It’s in Portugal, May 2020. You’re rockin’ and rollin’! And you can find all her books and resources on SheriannaBoyle.com.

Girl, it is wonderful to be here with you!

Sherianna: Thank you! Thanks for having me.

Mal: Wow, you’re going to Kripalu and 1440 then to Portugal. That is spectacular!

I have to tell you, I read this and this is maybe the greatest toolbox I’ve ever seen for how someone can deal with anxiety. And the process that you take people through, it is fabulous. So I want to jump right in and have you tell the audience all about C.L.E.A.N.S.E.

Sherianna: [00:02:26] Oh, boy! So, C.L.E.A.N.S.E. is the acronym that I use for the seven steps of an emotional detox and each step goes in order, and there’s a reason for that, and they build upon each other, and the purpose of the C.L.E.A.N.S.E. is not about getting rid of your emotions. It’s about getting rid of the reactions—I should say, releasing the reactions so that you can actually feel and transform the emotions that are being pressed down, suppressed, repressed by the ways that we have learned to react and that shows up in many ways.
It shows up in our thought patterns; it shows up in our beliefs; it shows up in our actions.

It can be so subtle that it can be sometimes difficult to pick up on your own, but once you clear the reactions, then what I find is that the emotions have the freedom to move.
As that occurs, they begin to become transformed into higher vibrational energy.

And then what happens is people can see patterns that perhaps they’ve had their entire life, and sometimes it’s a pattern that’s passed on through the family. So, in a nutshell, that is the intention behind the C.L.E.A.N.S.E. I just want to be clear—we’re not getting rid of emotions. In the Emotional Detox perspective, your emotions are extremely valuable.
In fact, I believe, they’re one of the most valuable parts of who we are.

The challenge is we’ve been trained to withhold them. We’ve been trained to confine them or to judge them.
We’ve even been trained to label them and when we’re busy labeling, they can’t be processed fully.

It’s like food. When we don’t digest our food, we’re not going to get the nutrients from the food. It’s the same thing when it comes to our emotions and this is proven on a scientific level. This isn’t just a random idea. You read the book. There’s some real Science behind this.

 

Mal: [00:04:58] So, first step, C.

 

Sherianna: What is it? So the first step is called “Clearing Reactivity”. So when I was researching the emotions, I really got interested in what’s called the vagus nerve, which has been out there.

 

I’ve seen a lot of different research on the importance of that nerve in the body, and it’s one of the longest-running nerves and it’s also a nerve that has a couple of chambers to it and so, one side of it can keep you in that fight or flight response while the other side can bring more ease in.

So the first step is actually learning how to tone that nerve and the reason being is when you do, you bring yourself into a state of processing. When someone feels that state—it’s a feeling, not a thought, ‘right? And it’s something that you learn how to do. Then you can move into the second step. And it’s an exploration.

I just worked with someone today. They didn’t even know they were going to do a C.L.E.A.N.S.E. with me. We actually were having a meeting, like kind of like this, but we were talking about something that we’re going to be doing some work together, and I said, “Well, you know, I think you ought to experience the C.L.E.A.N.S.E. before we move forward so that you get it”, because it’s one thing to read about it, it’s a whole another ballgame to actually go through it.

So we went through and he had no idea that was going to happen and he was like, “Whoa! That was… you’re right!” And so it’s… we’re so used to the talking model, right? That we have to process, like figuring it out or explaining or analyzing or trying to understand, and that first step is all about, “No, that’s not how we begin to process our feelings. It’s actually we have to learn to go to the body first”, and I use the toning the vagus nerve to do that, bringing reactivity down.

 

Mal: [00:07:25] Fabulous! So once we have tapped into what we’re feeling in our body and we know what’s in there and we’re not suppressing it, we’re feeling it, we’re allowing it… what do we do next?

 

Sherianna: So it’s really like, the first step, I call it like “preheating your oven”. So it’s just like you’re not going to bake something until that oven’s preheated. So you’re just going to think of it as preheating the body and it’s really a non-effort practice.

 

Once you get the feeling of what that is like, “Okay, I know when my body is ready to now bring something up”, because I think a lot of times, while having conversations with ourselves or with other people when they’re in reactivity. And when we have those conversations with them in reactivity, it’s like you get exhausted because, guess what, they don’t really take it all in, you know?

 

It’s no different than a child learning in school. If they don’t process the information, they’re not going to be able to recall it later and they’re not going to be able to take it out of that room and use it in everyday life. So it’s the same thing.

 

So that step two, then, begins to bring up what’s happening, but the way that we do that is a little different than in a normal dialogue. So then we bring up what is most present on your mind. What is happening closest to the here and the now that is coming up for me? And that’s the thing, it’s always happening for you, right? Like I know you are just not feeling well right now?

 

Mal: I had a bad cold, yeah.

 

Sherianna: I saw that. Well, it’s been a little bit now. You’ve been okay for a few days?

 

Mal: Yeah, I’m turning the corner.

 

Sherianna: You’re turning the corner. So that’s something that came up in your life that probably threw you off a little bit and so that might be something… you could either say, “Okay, I’m better and it’s time to move on now” or you can say, “Well, something came up in me to be healed.” To be processed, right?

 

And so, we’re so used to in our world of just, “Okay, I just got to cram and get better and move on to the next thing”, and I really believe that that’s what anxiety is all about and so I redefine it in this book that anxiety is an emotion that’s attempting to be processed but can’t because we won’t let it.

 

Mal: [00:10:40] And I love that definition because I think when we step over our emotions, it’s what causes us to be so anxious—comes up, bites us in the ass, makes it worst. Yes, it’s like a little dog nipping at your butt. Yup.

 

Sherianna: I mean, yeah, you get slammed with a cold or you have a sudden, you know, something happened in the family. We can’t control a lot of things that happen, right? But what we can do is say, “Okay, something is happening for me right here.”

 

Some emotions are looking to be processed that happen to be surfacing through this, you know, being sick or being in the situation or having this thing to deal with in my life. Let me take a moment and actually feel and process what’s happening and the go from there. And then you’ll discover, “Oh my gosh! That was exactly what I needed to move to the next thing.”

 

So that’s what the “Looking Inward” statement’s about. It’s about, “Okay, being sick this week,” and then taking that statement and doing it away with the C.L.E.A.N.S.E. and taking a moment to process that allows all of the reactions to come up. Very often, the reactions are the ways that you coped, right?

 

Sometimes we cope by running to the doctor, you know. Or we cope by popping pills, you know, medication. Or who knows? I mean, we have all ways that we cope when our life goes off-kilter but very often, the ways that we cope are actually the same thing that’s keeping the emotions from being processed.

 

Mal: [00:12:53] I used alcohol and you’re absolutely spot on! Yup. And the more I drink, the less I felt. I didn’t have to process anything. So I get it.

 

Okay, so now, we’ve done that looking in and figuring out what’s going on, we’re very present with what we’re feeling. Let’s talk about “Emit”.

 

Sherianna: Okay, so Emit is the third step. The Emit is…so how the Emit came to be is I wrote a book on mantras so I studied mantras for a long time. I had very solid mantra practice while I was writing Mantras Made Easy. I also had been teaching yoga for 18 years, so I’ve been very just around the whole energy of mantra.

 

I absolutely knew, after Mantras Made Easy, when I wrote the first Emotional Detox and then the Anxiety book, there’s no question in my mind that there would be sound integrated.

 

So a mantra is a sound or a syllable or word that’s vocalized and repeated. And so, in the Emit, I selected a mantra that we all do and we did when we were born and that is we hum, right? And it’s such innate, it crosses cultures and so that producing sound is the next step once you pull up the Looking Inward and then you go into the Emit, and then you move in to step 4.

 

[00:14:43] Yeah, which is, so then step 4 is the Activate step and that is when now you’re sort of turning the corner at this point because… and this is why at some part in this process is in order because what I’ve found in working with clients over the years—you’ve probably found this, Mal—is you work with someone, they feel better, and then all of a sudden they’re like, “Oh, yeah, but I want to tell you about my sister and what she did to me last week”, right? And you’re like, there’s five minutes left to the session here, and you want to go back? Right?

 

So I knew it had to be more than three steps. It has to be all seven steps and once you get to know them and you get familiar, it becomes a 5-minute practice. And so, when you turn that corner, it’s like you got to hold that road; if your car’s on the road, you want to stay focused in this process because that visualization piece is about… Activate is about really starting to see how your like, what it is that you’re creating in your life as you release this.

 

And then naturally moves into the nourishing phase, which is the “N”, and that is really cultivating this new higher vibrations in your life and there’s also tools for that. There are specific tools in your daily practice and then there’s ways to expand that in your daily life. So it’s a little bit of both.

 

And then the surrender step is the “S”.

 

Mal: My favorite.

 

Sherianna: Which is, yeah, and that’s really like you have to choose it. You know you’ve been through recovery. You have to want it. You have to claim it. It’s there for everybody. And everybody, it’s there, but you’re the one who has to have that say, “yes I am choosing this.” There’s a statement for that and then that transforms into the final step, which is E, which is really the becoming. So that is when you are it. It’s no longer separate from you and that’s the process.

 

Mal: [00:17:08] Every single one of these steps had such wonderful exercises, applications, and I love all the charts. This one on the surrender about, you know, writing and allowing statement, I just thought was brilliant. Matter of fact, I’ve photocopied it. I’ve kind of keep it in my planner so if I find myself in fixing mode, which, you know, I’m famous for, I allow peacemaking, I allow content, I allow calm, okay?

 

I mean, just wonderful, wonderful exercises and beautiful process and direction on how to deal with something. But hey, let’s face it, how many people suffer from anxiety?

 

Sherianna: Yeah.

 

Mal: Most of us, at one time or another.

 

Sherianna: [00:18:06] Right and I think what it is it really gets its definition from, if you find yourself waking up with it. So, I mean, we have stress, which we all have. Stress typically, there’s a reason, right? I have a deadline or I’ve missed an appointment or even I don’t feel well, you know. There’s a reason.

 

With anxiety, there doesn’t have to be a reason and I think that’s what we’re seeing more and more. Never before do we have so much. Everybody has so much, right? But yeah, we’re more anxious than ever before and we just keep upgrading, like, to the next thing and the next cellphone and so that’s true anxiety. When you wake up in the morning and you’re like, “I know I have a pretty good life but why am I so worried? Why do I dread stuff? Why do I not feel like myself? Why am I nervous?”

 

And then there’s a lot of relationship things that happen. So I think anxiety is pretty pervasive and if you don’t have it, then you’re probably living with someone that does or you’re around someone that has anxiety or just being in the world.

 

So what I love about the C.L.E.A.N.S.E. is it’s not just about us because I really believe that true healing means… true healing is when it benefits me and it benefits other people, ‘right? So I believe when we process our emotions, and that’s the second half of the book, it’s about manifesting. It’s that it really is the creative vibration; it works the laws of the universe for manifesting in the space of non-effort.

 

And I didn’t set out to write a book about manifesting. I just was teaching the tools and then watching things shift for people. It’s amazing and they’ve shifted for me and they’ve shifted for… I’m having conversations with clients. They’re like having career changes and their relationships are straightening out. They didn’t even come to me for that, but amazing really.

 

I mean, one of my clients just got picked up by Hay House the other for a book. She didn’t set out to write a book.

 

Mal: Wow!

 

Sherianna: Yeah. We’ve been working together. I’m like, are you freakin’ kidding me? I’m so excited, like, she didn’t even write a proposal.

 

Mal: So, in this time of working, all of a sudden she just writes a book?

 

Sherianna: She said, “Guess what? I have some news!” She’s at the right place at the right time with the right person, and it just surfaced and they just said, “You know a lot!” And it comes out for you really easily and, how would you like to write a book?

 

Mal: Wow!

 

Sherianna: Oh, yeah, this is… I’m like, you’ve got to be kidding me! This is the stuff… it’s funny, people show up usually in my world with anxiety but I know, I know that this is only the beginning for them. They’re thinking they just want to feel better and I’m excited to see where this could go because it really is the way that we manifest if we use all seven steps.

 

Mal: [00:22:07] Love it! Love it! Now, this isn’t out yet. It’s coming out in December. So, tell the audience how they can pre-order and then the yummies that you have that go with it.

 

Sherianna: So, Mal’s going to post the pre-order link for you and that is a link that is actually from the publisher, it’s not from me, and that will give you a download.

 

So we created a video download of me going over the five best practices for beginning an anxiety detox and so, what’s nice about it is, you know, so often, like, you get a book or you want to start something new, but then it’s like, “Okay, I have it. Now where do I begin?” Well, the download is going to tell you. This is where you need to begin. So when you get the book, and you get it instantly, you don’t have to wait until December. And then you can watch it as many times as you need to, but it really share a little bit about how I do this in a daily practice. So that’s the prize.

 

Mal: Wow, that’s wonderful! Wonderful! And again, you’re going to be in Kripalu in January.

 

Sherianna: Yeah, January 30th, which is a weekend. Yeah.

 

Mal: Nice. And you’ll be doing a 3-day event?

 

Sherianna: I’m doing three days which is… so I’ve been to Kripalu before and I decided because I wanted to make it so that people could come back so we’re doing three days of just getting to know the basic plans. I also put the C.L.E.A.N.S.E. into the yoga practice so we will C.L.E.A.N.S.E. while we’re practicing yoga and we will C.L.E.A.N.S.E. the steps and you’ll get, by the end of those… really 2 ½ days by the time.

 

You will know, inside and out, the formula and how to apply it in your daily life. If you want to continue to the 5-day retreat, which is I’m just staying—everyone can stay for a couple more days—we’re going to get into other uses of the plans because I use it as a healing modality and also other things that come up.

 

I just, like for example, I have the C.L.E.A.N.S.E. for grief, specifically for grief that I’ve written out that works for people who are really in deep grief. And that’s… it’s the same steps but I add a little twist to it, that’s all.

 

And there’s lots of variations and ways that you can explore the C.L.E.A.N.S.E. So that’s the 5-dayer.

 

Mal: Nice. I’d love to maybe have you back on to talk about grief because more and more women in my age bracket are losing husbands to illness and I did a speaking event this past Wednesday at a senior center and at least one-third of the women that were there were widowed. They were angry that their partner had died and left them. They were feeling heartbroken and they were having a very difficult time on processing their feelings and dealing with the loss. So it’s a much needed topic.

 

Sherianna: It is and it’s also natural. I mean, these are all natural things that happen in our lives and I think our emotions are just a natural way for us to explore that and yeah, I’d be happy to talk about grief and that is something I find where people really need some support.

 

Mal: Well, it’s been wonderful to see you again and to do this. And again, here it is, Emotional Detox for Anxiety, ready for the holidays! I’m so glad I’ve read my copy early. I feel like I’m armored and ready to go out there.

 

Sherianna: I got to get you the final. You have the advanced version, but I’m going to give you the final because some of the quotes are new.

 

Mal: Oh, thank you.

 

Sherianna: I changed some things around so I will make sure you get the brand new one.

 

Mal: Thank you so much! And again, your website, just give the domain name.

 

Sherianna: Oh, it’s Sherianna, my full name, it’s S-H-E-R-I-A-N-N-A, Boyle, B-O-Y-L-E, (dot)com (SheriannaBoyle.com), and yeah, they can go to my website, subscribe and you’ll see all the retreats there and the Portugal retreats and everything. If you want to come, Mal, to Portugal.

 

Mal: Oh, I’d love to. You know, I’m going to be moving so my house goes on the market in April and I hope to be in California in new digs by July 1st. Talk about anxiety and I’m sure they’ll be like, “Whoa!” But, yeah, so I’m going to be a little bit on overload. But that sounds so wonderful!

 

Sherianna: Yeah.

 

Mal: Whenever I travel, I’m always doing a class.

 

Sherianna: So, we’re going to be cleansing the whole time. We’re just like, “Alright, come us, guys. Stop and C.L.E.A.N.S.E.”

 

Mal: Awesome, awesome!

 

Sherianna: “Okay, here we are!” It’ll be great.

 

Mal: Awesome! It sounds wonderful, so thank you!

 

Sherianna: You’re welcome! Thank you. Thanks for all your support.

 

Mal: Oh, happy to do it. You’re very talented—author, coach, psychologist. You got it going on, girl! Keep it up.

 

Sherianna: Thank you. Bye.

 

Mal: Bye.

SHOW NOTES:

 

[00:05:00] Introduction of guest, Sherianna Boyle, author of Emotional Detox for Anxiety.

 

[00:02:26] Introduction to the book and the C.L.E.A.N.S.E. program.

 

[00:04:58] The first step to the C.L.E.A.N.S.E. Method—C for Clearing Reactivity.

 

[00:07:25] The second step to the C.L.E.A.N.S.E. Method—L for Looking Inward.

 

[00:12:53] The third step to the C.L.E.A.N.S.E. Method—E for Emit.

 

[00:14:43] The rest of the CLEANSE Method—A, N, S, E.

 

[00:18:06] Differentiating “Stress” versus “Anxiety”.

 

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