Mal Duane Coach

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The Life Recovery Formula: Will Power + Initiative = Accomplishment

bigstockphoto_accomplishment_-_road_sign_273784811The moment you were created you were filled with your own personal will power. As a young child you asserted yourself frequently with such expressions as No! and Mine! You fully grasped the feeling of using your will power. At three years old you could probably express your boundaries better than you do today! Slowly, life started to chip away at your will power by others telling you to be good, be quiet and good little girls don’t do that. Sadly, that free will turned into reservation, self- doubt and in many cases, fear. Your will power to be an individual and express concerns and desires became clouded over by the crap that others were saying to you. Many of the things said to you were invalid and self-serving for the other person.

Feeling like you can’t trust your very own instincts, needing to “check with” other people and procrastinating on decisions are signs that you need to go to work to build up self-confidence and begin to take action, even if you feel unsure.

Want to take that will power back, restore your self-expression to where you want it? Well you can, by eliminating those negative beliefs that no longer apply to the woman you are today. By creating a small worksheet and writing out those limiting beliefs, you can analyze what is true and what is false. When we write, we develop clarity that we otherwise might not see. You also are removing the thoughts from your mind and putting them on paper, which is in itself a cleansing process. You can just write freely in your journal about all the negative stuff that comes up when you think about the desire to assert yourself in a specific situation. The truth will emerge for the steps to take and the words to use. That is when you take initiative to create what you want.

You never lose your power, it just gets buried. Start today looking within and digging for that authentic voice, that will power and watch the miracles unfold.

Live Faithfully,
Mal

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Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, CBS Radio, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over one hundred Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

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Girls in Recovery

My Journey by Tracy Jo from Serenity House

I really need this burden lifted

Through these ashes I‘ve already sifted

Every bridge already burnt,

So many others still really concerned

Much needed relief is seen near to grasp

Trying to move forward letting go of my past

To be comforted is greatly needed

A reality hits me knowing my journey was damn near completed.

Breaking old habits is nothing more than complicated

Good behaviors from bad are still being separated

My confidence is growing with evidence slightly showing

Needed still a lot more work, even now styling a smirk

A break shines through with still more to do

My happiness begins clear and just for a moment

My sadness will disappear

Holding the truth for this life long battle

Expecting the fact I just begun to climb back

Even getting help I began to realize

The person you see is no longer in disguise.

Today my life I completely take back

Getting it together, I hope to keep it on track.

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Life Recovery Formula: Awareness + Acceptance = Serenity

“Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.”                        -William James

Human-Acceptance-It’s not life’s experiences that are causing your pain and suffering, it is your resistance to them. The harder you push, the greater the discomfort. You set yourself up for disappointment by having unrealistic expectations. You get so stuck in your own ideas and notions on how something should be.

Many of the expectations you form are based on past experience and not on your current reality. You may have been hurt in the past which left deep emotional scars on your heart.  However, that does not mean that everything that happens from that point will have the same impact or turnout. You desperately try to manipulate the situation and rather than let it unfold, you try to control the outcome to no avail.

The mini me voice in your head is constantly advising you, and most times commanding you, to do things a certain way. You have heard enough “shoulds” to last a lifetime. How do you stop this mini war between you and the egotistical you that instructs, tries to control and pushes back? You need to stop “shoulding” on yourself now! Open your mind and heart to the flow of life instead of trying to swim against the current.

Acceptance will release you from the painful resistance and start to connect you with your current reality in a comforting way. If you look at things through the eyes of acceptance, you will recognize that old fears and perceptions were controlling your decisions and connection to those around you. Accept people the way they are, don’t try to fit them into a preconceived mold that you think is acceptable. You will notice that your connections will deepen and you will naturally feel closer to people.

Learn to relax, utilize a spiritual practice to help you connect with your inner truth. As you relax, the resistance dissolves and your life becomes measurably more enjoyable. Once we recognize our resistance and release it, we actually have more input in the desirable outcome of events that are important to us. Learning this skill is crucial to our success. It is the starting point for learning to be calm and negotiate, stops us from sabotaging new and rewarding relationships and setting boundaries instead of withdrawing and/or internalizing anger and powerlessness.

Three steps to get into the flow.

1. Become aware of your feelings/fears about the situation you are dealing with.

2. Are you reacting to the current situation or are your feelings surfacing from a past event?

3. Acknowledge the current situation and stay fully present in the moment. What can you be grateful for right now?

Life can be so much easier than you make it, if you become aware of your feelings and discern if they are justified.

 

Live Faithfully,
Mal

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Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, CBS Radio, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over one hundred Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

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Life Recovery Formula: Discovering the Diva within!

woman-hugging-herselfTo truly develop self-worth, one must look within for the divine magnificence you were born with. We are all created with this essence but it can be obscured by the words and perceptions of others. You think the right dress, or the right hairdo might make you more appealing. But ladies, true beauty comes from within.

The beauty, I am speaking of is a radiance, a light that shows up in your eyes. It is a sparkle that you emanate when you walk in to a room. That kind of beauty, you can’t buy but you can develop and restore it within yourself.

Life happens and your shining light can become dull. Your self-worth keeps getting nicked away, little by little. We develop limiting beliefs based on the opinions of others. Well,  I am here to tell what someone else thinks of you is none of your business. What is of the utmost importance is what you think! When someone says something to you, it is not really about you at all. It is their baggage, it’s their stuff.

The lesson here is not to take someone’s opinion or comments as the truth.  They maybe are speaking from a place of personal fear or weakness.  Their motives maybe self-serving.

Once you tap into that divine magnificence at the core of your heart and soul, it’s pretty hard to dim the light. You were born to shine. To live with joy and to be happy.

Action steps you can take to tap into the divine diva within:

  1. Do affirmations morning and night.
  2. Add three new ones daily to your list. I have given you some samples. Write in the present tense.
    1. I am happy to be me.
    2. I deserve everything I want in life
    3. I accept myself just the way I am
    4. When you look in the mirror in the morning, give yourself a big hug and confirm that you are loved!

Please comment or send some of your affirmations.

Sending Faith, light and love your way!

Live Faithfully,
Mal

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Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, CBS Radio, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over one hundred Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

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The Life Recovery Formula™

Picture1Self-care + Self-worth + Happiness = Recovery

When life presents us with excruciating challenges, who do we take care of last?

I am honored to be teaching a class for an amazing group of women in a recovery facility. Over and over, the topic of abusing ourselves comes up. These women recognize that they put themselves last and take care of others first. Even people that have harmed them or been unkind come before they do?

Sadly, this is a common situation with women in general. We habitually put ourselves last. My thoughts are if American airlines is telling you to put your mask on first if the plane is going down, is a pretty strong statement about taking care of yourself before helping others. If we don’t, we run out of oxygen. Get the picture!

The practice of self-care over a period of time creates a stronger, self-loving confident woman that becomes a better contributor in everything she does. Her relationships, her employment and physical demeanor all become measurably improved.

Here are some tips on how to put you first.

  1. Take one hour in the morning for meditation/spiritual practice. If you need to get up an hour earlier than everyone else.
  2. Schedule a treat for yourself weekly. Maybe a mani/pedi or a message. How about a new book?

I just finished reading Debbie Ford’s “Courage”. Great information about pushing through life’s challenges.

  1. Take a walk in the middle or the end of the day, get some exercise and fresh air. It is a great place to think through important decisions.
  2. A new perfume, lipstick, or makeup can be a real refresher when we need it.
  3. Maybe watch an old romance movie on TV? Curl up with a cup of lavender or green tea.
  4. Create a vision board with pictures of things you would like to attract into your life. This is a very powerful practice. (Worked on my getting my home and my dog)
  5. Get a personal Life/Recovery coach for a session on how to create the life you deserve.

I would love to know about some of your favorite things that you do to nurture yourself. Feel free to comment here.

Remember, grab your mask first. It will all the difference to the ones you love.

Live Faithfully,
Mal

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Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, CBS Radio, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over one hundred Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

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It’s Time To Break Out Of That Shell

Break out of your shellSpring is here. It is a time of rebirth, rejuvenation and transformation. The snow is almost gone and there are green tips in the garden waiting for the warmth of the sun. What can you do to break away from old patterns and start a fresh beginning this spring?

When we have the courage to step up and the desire to play a bigger game, the world can become a very different looking place. No need to hide behind the false images from yesterday that may feel comfortable. Break out and get uncomfortable while you feel the true potential that awaits you. Personal growth requires that we may feel un-easy. The fact is to move forward and transform your life is not easy. It takes intention, commitment and a level of personal discipline you may not have employed before.

So what can you do to crack that old shell and start creating the life you deserve?

  1. Make a list of the things that are holding you back from your dreams.
  2. Which ones are real? Many of our hurdles exist only in our own minds.
  3. Identify the action steps necessary to realize your dreams.
  4. Start implementing one step at a time. Have an accountable timetable to do so. This means a deadline. TIP: Best way to do this is to schedule dates into your phone or on a calendar. Your subconscious now knows that to be in integrity with yourself and others – you HAVE to meet that deadline.
  5. Start to feel the energy in your body as if your dreams have happened. BELIEVE they are coming. Connect to that feeling daily. Feel the gratitude for everything that is coming your way.

The biggest problem we have when we start trying to create something in our lives is that we don’t feel we deserve it or we don’t believe it will happen. Well, dump those thoughts and replace them with positive affirming thoughts.

Your life will be a reflection of your thoughts. Now that you have stepped out of that shell, it’s time to be the Alpha Chick you were meant to be.

Live Faithfully,
Mal

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Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over thirty Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

 

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Authentic empowered women sharing!

1f7df7da2b26592f602263aa8909303eI want to thank you all for participating in the Positive Mental Shift Teleseminar. To everyone – I am so blessed and thankful to each of you. To the beautiful speakers, your vulnerability and courage inspired me. To my listeners, your emails and comments really touched my heart and I want to share one with you that stood out to me.

Jane L. wrote:

“I just listened to Jodi Chapman’s story (@jodi_chapman), and although my circumstances are different we have learned the same things, in adversity we grow if we are open to it. A power is always there to redirect out paths as I discovered, and whatever I need will present itself in a myriad of ways. I hear voices direct me, i.e. Thanks for these ladies sharing their lives and to you for making it happen!”

I would love to hear more from you, the listeners. Who was your favorite speaker and why? Who would you like me to interview next? Should I be interviewing you for the next PMS?  Please reach out to me and tell me why!! @alphachickbook or mal@alphachick.com

I want to plan another series and I want it to impact your life and your business in a positive way. I want you to walk away feeling inspired, empowered, full of creativity and less alone and shamed. More than anything, as Jane wrote above, I want you all to be able to tap into that inner guidance system, God, spirit and shift your thinking to thoughts that work FOR you. To stop whatever negative spiral your brains is on, and get it to only speak loving, supportive, kind words to yourself. I know it’s possible and all of the speakers on PMS have made this incredible shift in their own lives.

Knowing you have everything you need inside of you, and being able to tap into that (because you have cleared away self-hating talk) gives you the power to make the small shifts that will lead you to the life of your dreams. You will have a peace and a hope that you can have the relationship, job, whatever is your heart’s desire.

Those of you who heard my interview with the amazing Katana Abbott, @KatanaAbbott, know that she was helping me with my nonprofit organization that I am very excited about. It is called Holly’s Gift. I am in the process of filing  papers for the approval as a 501(c)(3).

We have commitments from some online educational companies to help train women in recovery to become virtual assistants. They will be trained in the necessary computer skills to be eligible for employment as a virtual assistant when they are released. This will help the women remain accountable, give them some responsibility and boost their self-esteem. Many of these women have no financial resources, do not have cars or wardrobes so this is a perfect way to get them back into the job market.

Rehab can be a scary, lonely time of facing painful truths and consequences. My hope is that we can give these women the skills and the encouragement to begin to create the lives of their dreams and gain financial independence. Recovery does not mean just stopping the substance, behavior etc. It means creating an environment where the behavior is no longer desirable. I’ll be sharing more about Holly’s Gift so sign up for my newsletter or tweets for updates. Let’s make rehab a time of relaunch and reclaiming our lives!

Live Faithfully,
Mal

If you like our content sign up here for updates and a free gift!


Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over thirty Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

 

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Age Is Just An Excuse

iron-decor_2251_713967702If you are stuck and complaining that you can’t get anywhere in life because you are too old…guess what? 

{It’s just an excuse.}

Sorry, I know you probably wanted me to coddle you somehow right?  And explain that it’s a challenge that can be overcome by doing x,y,z?

But “AGE” is just a mask that FEAR likes to wear a lot. Especially to women because it can tell us we can’t accomplish something AND sneak in an extra whisper that we are losing our looks and that we aren’t attractive or relevant.

But the evidence for this declaration being real will NEVER appear IF, IF, IF… 

we are meditating, going within to find self-worth and value and asking to be shown our true beauty and gifts.

Otherwise, operating in the EGO and the WORLD all we will see is younger models in jean commercials. Oh, and a highlights reel of all of the mistakes we made in our youth. 

You might have heard the recent story of a woman named Marguerite Joseph who is 104 and a registered Facebook user. Due to a glitch in FB registering process, she has been listed as 99 years old for the past 2 years and reached out to Mark Zuckerberg for help with the glitch. Now Facebook is going to address the problem.

And get this…Marguerite is legally blind and can’t hear well so her granddaughter helps her with her FB page.

It all comes down to acceptance. We simply aren’t going to get younger.

AND… we’re living longer. If you feel you are too old at 27 or 41 or 63 imagine saying that to Marguerite.  

I have a feeling she might start laughing with you. So work on finding out your true fear instead of using age as an excuse.

Afraid you are too old to learn social networking? Research a few classes or go look for a book. Ask someone for help, summon up the courage to ask a question and you’ll be amazed at how willing people are to help. Entire new journeys can start with simply having the courage to ask a question – and risk looking foolish. I’m not saying it’s easy.

The antidote to the fear of aging is to build up the spirit of curiosity, of joy and of fearlessness. This is what determines the wisdom and beauty of an individual, not the number of years they have been alive.

Live Faithfully,
Mal


Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over thirty Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

 

 

 

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Love or Fear

loveorfearAll of life comes down to one thing. Choosing love or choosing fear.

So how do we learn how to deal with fear and choose love? Here are three ways to do this.

Recognize its voice

To know if you are in love or in fear, listen to how you are talking to yourself. The voice of fear is always rushed, fast paced. The thoughts come quickly, and the questions are never followed up with possible solutions, just more questions. For example,

You are working on starting a blog. Fear will start talking down to you as such,

You are never going to finish that piece. You do this every time. Why don’t you just give up, you are going to fail. You are going to amount to nothing. (Laughter)

Fear blows things way out of proportion and speaks in absolutes like always and never. You’ll notice your stomach start to tighten. Fear demands big, overnight success type progress. It’s all or nothing.

Love speaks more slowly. It will give you a glimpse of joy so pure it’s scary, like a flash of your book on the shelf at Barnes and Noble. Your stomach tenses but in an excited/nervous way. Love will try to charm you and say,

Look, you aren’t writing because you are scared and that’s okay. You always get scared but you always manage to do a little bit. Maybe you should go outside for a walk and come back to it. 

Love doesn’t badger you, it offers suggestions and yet, it is firm and will not let you off the hook. Love points to other people who started small and had huge success.

Stop Blame and Criticism

One of fear’s favorite aliases is blame. It works like this. You’ve got a deadline to meet or a great new opportunity presents itself to you. You are scared you might not be able to pull it off. The fear will lurk silently until your significant other innocently comes home from the office and you read them the riot act about embellished offenses such as:

  1. We never do anything together anymore
  2. Your mother/brother/boss has an attitude towards me
  3. You never help me

Fear wants to take away our biggest supporters and waste our time and creativity on arguing.

We have to praise our allies and commit to ourselves that we will not blame them. This can be extremely challenging at first, sort of like cutting off a drink from a drunk. Take this option off the table though, and you are back in your personal power.

Take action – any action

Linda Joy spoke yesterday on Positive Mental Shift about being invited to an author conference in New York City. It was celebrating one of her spiritual mentors, Louise Hay, and was a dream come true for her. However, her fear stepped right in to try to mess it up for her. It tried to tell her she couldn’t get there because she wasn’t a big city girl.

But Linda took a baby step and booked her Amtrak ticket. And guess what?  She “suddenly” remembered a close friend who lived there who said Linda could stay with her. And, the friend drove her to the event! So, as Linda said, she took a baby step (buying the train ticket) and the universe lined up all of the other support.

This works even if you are not being invited to author parties in NYC {yet}. If you are very depressed, than your action step might be taking a shower or throwing on sweats and going out for a coffee.

It might be crying yourself to sleep tonight but deciding not to drink for 24 hours.

Sometimes, our only next step is to set an intention or to pray for help.

But we always have a next move.

Take it and step into Love!

Live Faithfully,
Mal

 


Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over thirty Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

 

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Alpha Chick: Christine Kloser – Her Story of Transformation

 Christine Kloser is a Spiritual Guide, Award-Winning Author, and Transformational Book Coach whose spot-on guidance transforms the lives of visionary entrepreneurs and authors around the world. Her passion is fueled by her own transformation in January 2011 when letting go of the last shred of stability and security in her life was how she discovered her truth. From that place, she fearlessly (and faithfully) went on to quickly create the most abundant, impactful and joyous success of her life. She now blends her passion for personal and global transformation with her gifts as a transformational book coach – and as a result she’s impacting tens of thousands of messengers across the globe. Learn more at //christinekloser.com/

We all experience life challenges that looking back we can see were the catalyst for living a deeper, more authentic life. What has been your greatest personal challenge that you’ve overcome that served as your pivot point to transformation? 

The greatest personal challenge I faced was the demise of the business I’d built by trying to do everything right. I’d seen all the “guru’s” and learned what seemed like the “sure-fire ways” to grow and build a big-time business. I did everything I was “supposed” to do. I built my list, I positioned myself as an expert, I introducedd a high-level six figure coaching program, I hosted a big live event, I enrolled clients into a year-long mastermind program, I had a half-million dollar year. It looked like a dream come true for any aspiring entrepreneur. But, inside something didn’t feel right.

In fact, I had gone to my coach in the middle of it all and outright said, “This doesn’t feel right.” I was quickly assured that I was “nuts” and everything I was doing was great. Yet, my heart continued to ache, the lack of peace and joy in my business continued and the challenges followed as quickly as the success came. Challenges with clients, my business partners (at the time), the economy and “credit crunch,” my marriage, my finances… everything started to crumble. At first it was a slow crumble over the course of a few years, and then in December of 2010… that slow crumble turned into a final and fast CRASH!

When I was in the middle of this challenge, it appeared as though the problem was my financial situation. But, now, looking back I clearly see that the financial challenges were a result of other things. They were a result of my desire to make everyone else happy, at the expense of my own happiness. They were the result of being afraid to stand up for myself. They were the result of my lack of self-worth and lack of belief that I could succeed if I did things “my way.” The list could go on and on.

Basically, I was lost inside and continually striving for external “success” to fill that place inside of me that felt empty and not good enough. The decisions I made came from this wounded place as did the people I attracted into my life.

It was a very difficult time of my life – to lose everything. Yet, it was also the most powerful time of my life. I wouldn’t wish these challenges for anyone, but I can honestly say that I’d do it all over again myself if I had to… because without this challenge I wouldn’t be living the life I am today. And, I truly love my life… and my business!

Describe the transformational moment or wake-up call when you realized that life change was necessary? For many, it’s a spiritual awakening, an emotional downfall, or a life-altering experience that shakes us awake. 

The moment that truly changed everything occurred at about 10:30 AM EST on December 1, 2010. I can remember it vividly. That was the moment that thing got worse… after I thought they were already at rock bottom. If you’ve ever experience that feeling of having the rug pulled out from underneath you when you already felt like the FLOOR was gone… that was my experience.

You see, in June 2010, my husband and I had to make the most difficult, and gut-wrenching decision of our lives. After my business crumbled around me, it left me with basically no income (aside from the little I made from the publishing part of my business, where I’d brought a partner in to help me with that piece). It became clear that there was no way that I could support my family, and cover our bills on what I was making in that partnership. And, I was mentally, and emotionally incapable of trying to sustain my own business that had been crumbling for a few years. So, after months of trying to see if there was any way to avoid it… there wasn’t… and we filed for a personal bankruptcy.

It took months to make the decision because we just couldn’t imagine going through that. We’d lose our house, have our credit record ruined, and I’d have the “stigma” of being a financial failure.. at least in my mind. But, the day came on December 2, 2010 (my birthday) that it was time to sign our papers and allow the next chapter of our lives to unfold.

And, as I share this next part, I truly have to thank God for working so miraculously and powerfully in my life to give me the exact experience that would literally throw me to my knees in despair…. this moment changed everything.

On December 1, 2010… less than 24 hours before I was going to file bankruptcy papers (something I felt I could do knowing that I could then focus on the partnership I had to serve authors and make enough money to support my family) – I received a FedEx letter from my business partner’s attorney stating she didn’t want to be partners anymore and wanted to buy my shares of the company.

You would have thought a football player slammed into me and knocked me down… that’s how powerful this news hit me…. like I had been smashed to the ground and left to lick my own wounds. I was in a fog, certain that this couldn’t really be happening… but it was. And, over the course of 6 week of trying to flip things around and buy out her shares (I’d put 6 years into building that part of my business prior to inviting her to join me)…. I finally surrendered to God’s will. I let go of it. I surrendered the last thing that felt like any security or stability in my life. I felt like I was left with nothing.

But, soon discovered that I finally had EVERYTHING I’d ever needed… and more!

After experiencing your personal wake-up call what were the most powerful steps you took to change your life? 

There were many things I did to help transform this time of despair into the most fruitful, peaceful, joyous and fulfilling time of my life! The first thing I did was “rally the troops.” By that I mean I leaned on my closest friends for support, I let them love me and remind me of the light that was still within me.

I also allowed myself to feel the depth of the despair, pain and anger that was coursing through my veins. I didn’t shy away from it, I dove into it. I went through a gazillion boxes of tissues. I wrote many letters to God to release the pain inside of me and burned them ceremoniously as I prayed for this feeling to leave my heart. Which leads me to the next thing… I prayed nearly non-stop! I was well aware of the fact that if I were to make it through to the other side, that I couldn’t do it alone, nor could I do it just with the support of my family and friends. I began to lean on God ever more than my friends and would spend several hours a day in prayer and meditation. It was in these moments where the peace and joy began to fill me as I learned to trust that everything really was happening for my highest good.

I truly had never felt more peaceful and happy (at least at that stage in my life) than when I was filing for bankruptcy, losing my home, going through a difficult partnership dissolution, having challenges in my marriage with all the stress we were under financially, etc. The only thing I can say is that it was GRACE that saved me and helped turn things around.

Even through these challenges, I would see signs of grace EVERYWHERE and in ABUNDANCE! It’s as if suddenly I had eyes that could SEE what was really happening. It felt like nothing short of a miracle to witness so much grace. Oh, it was magnificent!

This peace and joy that I came to feel allowed me to move on and open up to new possibilities. I allowed my intuition to finally guide me more than my rational mind. I listened to the nudges, followed the guidance I was receiving and moved forward on faith. And, it was astonishing to then have things change in warp-speed for GOOD in my life! Every ounce of the challenge was worth it because the gifts so far have far surpassed anything I could have done had this challenge not happened. God truly does work in incredible ways to get us exactly where we’re meant to be.

Please share a Positive Mental Shift tip that woman can implement today to support them on their journey of transformation and empowerment. 

Change your perspective! As soon as something challenging happens to you, immediately begin to ponder what the GIFTS could be in that challenge. When you look at everything that happens as SERVING your highest good… you can open your eyes to see things from a much higher perspective. A perspective that will bring you much peace on your transformational journey.

 

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