Blog – Page 14

A New Language For Life: Happy No Matter What!

Alpha Chick is pleased to participate in the virtual tour of A New Language for Life: Happy No Matter What!

Learn more about author Louis Koster and the book’s virtual tour at www.louiskoster.com/virtualtour

Interview with Dr. Louis Koster, author of A New Language For Life: Happy No Matter What!

Q: Why did you feel compelled to write A New Language for Life?

A: I was humbled by my experiences. There is no other way of saying it. I felt entrapped by the circumstances of my life and at some point realized that there was nowhere else to go. I knew that the way I viewed the world had to change. This was my defining moment. I realized that if I considered life as fundamentally good, I may as well trust what was occurring in my life as fundamentally good, rather than condemning it. I made then and there a commitment to be happy and content, no matter what the circumstances of my life. This commitment became a passage of awakening and higher awareness that allowed me to transcend the circumstances of my life and reclaim my capacity to manifest my life. I then became willingly compelled to share this message of awakening and inner peace with others.

Q: Why would someone want to read A New Language for Life?

A: Entrapment in our circumstances is the human experience without exception at some point in a person’s life. In A New Language for Life, Happy No Matter What!, readers are invited to dwell in two powerful affirmations–The Choice and The Insight, which by its own unique design, open up a passage of awakening and higher awareness without changing anything about the circumstances of your life. The Choice andThe Insight release being from its entrapment in language and allow readers to experience an authentic freedom to be and be present again to the true joy of life.What makes A New Language for Life, Happy No Matter What! so appealing is the simplicity of its passage. A New Language for Life, Happy No Matter What! is attractive, since the title of the book is attractive and captures people’s immediate attention.

Q: Is there a particular timely nature of the subject area?

A: We live in an era of unprecedented change and are trapped in cycles of crises. In depleting the resources of our planet, we may lose the fragile web of life that sustains us on planet earth. There is more at stake in being happy than our individual happiness, since a commitment to being happy brings about a sense of oneness and perspective to our experience of life. Readers learn that our default way of being is insufficient to deal with our current issues and concerns and that true survival of the human race is only possible inside of oneness.

Q: Are there specific benefits from reading your book?

A: Dwelling in the affirmations of the book, The Choice and The Insight, the reader experiences an authentic freedom to be in whatever circumstance they find themselves in life. A New Language for Life, Happy No Matter What! shows how you can defeat day-to-day depression, struggle and unhappiness, or any ordinary bad mood. A New Language for Life shows you how to weather the winds and storms of life from a deep and abiding source of inner peace. Some of the benefits that workshop participants of A New Language for Life report are less resentment and more peace. After the workshop, they were less preoccupied with other peoples’ opinion about them and the freedom to just be. Participants felt less immobilized and consumed by the circumstances in their lives and were able to give attention to what really matters in their lives.

Q: Describe the audience for your book.

A: The book is for anyone who is in transition in life and has a sense that there is more to life than what they are currently experiencing. The book is for anyone who is committed to a life beyond struggle and suffering, a life beyond a sense of entrapment by circumstances. The book allows you to empower yourself through the challenges you are facing in life. You are led to a place where you start to trust your own experience of life and begin listening to your own truth again. The book offers a way to reconnect with the essence of your being and a way to live according to your true nature.

Q: What personal experiences led you to write A New Language for Life, Happy No Matter What!?

A: In essence, the idea for the book came to me by making the distinction between being, and the “I,” and by recognizing being as a separate, but invisible reality, the only reality that is in keeping with our true nature, despite what our senses, or the “I” tell us that we are. In hindsight, each event in my life has been an integral part of a journey of trusting myself and life, which allowed me to free myself from my self-imposed limitations, realizing that I am much more than what defines me, and come to an authenticity of being.

Q: How do you see A New Language for Life making a difference for people?

A: A New Language for Life is a message of peace and oneness. A New Language for Life is a message of a higher awareness. A New Language for Life allows you to live a life that is wholesome. A New Language for Life shows you how to defeat day-to-day depression, anger, and unhappiness, or any ordinary bad mood. A New Language for Life, shows you how to weather the winds and storms of life from a deep and abiding source of inner peace.

Q: Where do you see the messages in A New Language for Life going?

A: I see A New Language for Life becoming part of our daily conversations. People may see in A New Language for Life, Happy No Matter What!a simple and elegant design that allows them to release themselves from the entrapment in language and start living their lives in a way that is more wholesome and in an alignment with the true nature of their being.

Q: What do you see is the relevance of A New Language for Life, Happy No Matter What! in today’s society?

A: The innate nature of being is kindness. How to get in touch with that and how to maintain that in the face of life’s daily occurrences, is the challenge. A New Language for Life, Happy No Matter What! could aid people who are already participating in some spiritual practice to stay centered in their being. Now is the time. Now there is a window in the experience that people have of our current times, an opening to look beyond the horizon of what they see. Apart from personal enlightment, there is a narrow window in the next couple of years to change the way we view ourselves and each other to sustain our fragile life on planet Earth.

Q: How do you see A New Language for Life, Happy No Matter What!is in keeping with other spiritual teachings?

A: Anyone who has been dwelling in the possibility of A New Language for Life, Happy No Matter What!will recognize similarities with Buddhism, Hinduism, Christianity and Taoism. This book aligns with other spiritual teachings, in fact enriches other spiritual teachings.

Q: What people, philosophers have influenced you in writing this book?

A: I was influenced by the philosopher Martin Heidegger, by Albert Einstein, and Krishnamurti, who all from their own unique perspective dwelled inside of oneness. I am inspired by the message of peace by the Dalai Lama. I have a deep respect for the wisdom of the pre-Socratic philosopher Parmenides, who spoke about unveiling the truth of oneness.

Q: How has writing A New Language for Life influenced your personal life?

A: It allowed for my wife and I to have an extraordinary relationship. It allowed me to live a peaceful life. It allowed me to be more caring for my patients and be in touch with what really matters for them. It allowed me to step a little outside the classical paradigm of practicing medicine, which is predominantly evidence-based, and return to the art of medicine, where true caring makes a difference. It allowed me to have a great relationship with my brother and appreciate his great wisdom. It allowed me to just be grateful for the privilege of being alive.

Q: Who were your biggest teachers?

A: My biggest teachers were my parents, my brother, and my wife and daughter. They kept me straight.

Q: What are your other interests?

A: Spending time with my family, traveling, reading and language. I am currently studying Arabic, and welcoming any opportunity to practice speaking Spanish.

Q: Who are you favorite authors?

A: My favorite authors are historical novelists like Gabriella Garcia Marquez, John Steinbeck, George Orwell, and Ernest Hemmingway.

Live Faithfully,
Mal Duane

Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over thirty Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

Girls – Masks Are Strictly for Halloween

I love this time of year, driving around and seeing all the colorful leaves in the trees, pumpkins everywhere displayed with colorful mum plants. I am such an orange chick. This is my power color so I am in my glory. Cute decorations are in all the stores and costume stores have popped up everywhere. I used to start planning early for an outrageous Halloween costume. A great deal of thought and accessorizing went into my costumes. It was one more way I could pretend to be something I wasn’t.

When I reflect on my previous crazy Halloween’s, I now realize that I have spent most of my life hiding behind a mask. It was easier for me to pretend to be someone else to fit in than be myself and be left behind. I would try to mold myself to another person’s expectations: try going white water rafting when it is freezing cold out, eating some God forsaken food just so I could be with that person. It went a lot deeper than that but I think you get my drift. I was doing things I couldn’t stand just to be accepted by someone else. It saddens me to think back how many times I didn’t honor myself just to keep a relationship going. I didn’t stand up for me or my beliefs but instead crumbled so I could be connected to another person. Does this sound familiar to you?

We stay in relationships that do not support us as divine women but instead strip away the layers of our integrity and self-respect. It is amazing what we will sacrifice for love and approval from another. Instead of enjoying real love, our hearts are torn open by the fear of being left.

How do we discover our truth and honor ourselves? Ask yourself these questions:

Whose needs are being met in this current situation?
Do you compromise or do you totally relinquish your desires?
Are you constantly fearful you will lose the relationship?
Do you feel the need to lie about what you want to keep the relationship?

The honest answers to these questions will be a huge eye opener to you as to whether you are in a loving and supportive relationship. You know you deserve better, so what is keeping you from getting it?

How long have you been hiding behind your mask so you could keep the current relationship you are in? The funny part of this is that men love women who love and honor themselves. So maybe it is time to take off the mask and let the real, divine beautiful you emerge and attract exactly what you want.

Live Faithfully,
Mal Duane

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

September is National Recovery Month

Did you know that September is National Recovery Month?

Recovery Month began in 1989 as “Treatment Works Month”, which honored the work of the treatment and recovery professionals in the field. The observance evolved to National Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery Month (Recovery Month) in 1998, when it expanded to include celebrating the accomplishment of individuals in recovery from substance use disorders. The observance evolved once again in 2011 to National Recovery Month (Recovery Month) to include all aspects of behavioral health.

National Recovery Month educates us on the fact that addiction treatment and mental health services can enable those with a mental and/or substance use disorder to live a healthy and rewarding life. It spreads the positive message that behavioral health is essential to overall health, prevention works, treatment is effective, and people can and do recover.

I believe we are all recovering from something, whether it’s a mental or substance use disorder, or the loss of a loved one. It is so important to stay in touch with yourself and how you are feeling, so you can continue to recover in a healthy manner. So, during National Recovery Month, I’d like to encourage you to keep up your journaling practice at least once a day. Or, if you haven’t begun to write in a journal, I encourage you to start today! Keeping in touch with your emotions is so essential to a healthy recovery. I personally find it so liberating to write exactly how I feel.

Five of my favorite journaling questions to stimulate my writing are:

What can I let go of today that will release any limitations I may be feeling?
Why is this person or situation causing me to feel negative about myself?
Are other people’s opinions or perceptions controlling what I feel today?
What inspired action could I take to change the situation?
What is my vision for how I want things to be?

Guided journaling is also a great way to continue with your recovery. On our website www.AlphaChick.com, we offer the Alpha Chick Action Guide, which can help you let go of past pain and work toward your personal transformation.

National Recovery Month is a great time to begin work, or just to remember to continue working on your recovery. Journaling allows your authentic self to step forward and remove the dark shadows of living under others expectations. You can rebirth the voice of your true expression without fear, so you can develop clarity as to what you really want to attract into your life.

If you need help to start or continue your journey to recovery? Do you have an inspiring story to share?Please reach out, our community of Alpha Chicks are here to help!

Live Faithfully,
Mal Duane

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

2012 Gold Medal Winner

Let’s All Live By The Golden Rule

Let’s all live by the golden rule!

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you”

Rumi

If we paid more attention to the people in our lives, how many suicides or over doses do you think we could prevent? Sadly after the event has occurred and the families start a forensic psychiatric investigation, they always find the clues. Cell phone records and computer files are usually very helpful in creating a timeline of a downward spiral. Instead of constantly checking our own emails and text messages, maybe we should monitor our children’s more closely.

In Massachusetts there was a landmark case when six teenagers cyber bullied a beautiful young girl, Phoebe Prince. Phoebe started dating the ex-boyfriend of a malicious young woman who organized a group of classmates to torment her for several months. The outcome was that Phoebe ended up hanging herself. The cyber bullies were tried in court and found guilty. So many lives ruined for nothing. I am hoping to connect with Phoebe’s mother this month for an interview to discuss what we can do in our schools to prevent tragedies like this.

Although October is Stop Cyber-Bullying Month, I am sharing these resources now so we can all make a conscience effort to make a difference. School is back in session and it is a perfect time to teach kids the rules of social media and online engagement. These are my suggestions and I hope you find them helpful, I have also gathered some resources which are listed below.

Don’t post anything on the web that is detrimental to ones character or their appearance.
Understand that you are legally responsible for all content you put on the Internet.
Monitor incoming and outgoing communications on all social networks that your children have a presence on. You may identify someone else being abusive to others.
Encourage your children to report anyone to you that is posting negative comments about others. It is your responsibility to do something about it.

If we all pay attention we can eliminate tremendous heart ache globally for kids that are being attacked by their peers. Too many children lost their lives this year due to the severe bullying and character assassinations that were written by thoughtless, unconscious and unmonitored kids.

This is not just for kids, cyber-bullying often happens with adults and in the workplace.

I truly believe that if we collectively shine a light in the wound that is bullying, we can make a significant difference!

I would love to hear your experiences, thoughts and questions, please share them with the Alpha Chick community on our Facebook page; or if they are of a more personal nature please email me at malduane [at] alphachick [dot] com.

Live Faithfully,
Mal Duane

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

Coaches are for Olympians and YOU too!

“Victory is in having done your best. If you’ve done your best, you’ve won.”

–Bill Bowerman, US Olympic Coach, track and field, 1972

The books are closed on the 2012 Summer Olympics and what a show it was, from the stellar opening ceremonies to the fantastic closing ceremonies and every jump, leap and dive in between!

I thoroughly enjoyed every minute and it’s such a valuable reminder of the power and fortitude of the human body and spirit.

Watching the intense relationships between the coaches and athletes made me remember each and every coaching relationship I have had and the value these relationships have brought to this Alpha Chick!

During this trip down memory lane I compiled the checklist below of all of the coaches I’ve had since childhood:

Voice
Piano
Tennis
Modeling
Real Estate
AA Sponsors
Fitness
Spiritual
Life
Business

Oh my, it certainly takes a village doesn’t it!

This little exercise made me realize just how many people helped me to become the person I AM truly meant to be. I asked myself… who would I be without them? How would my life be different if I did not have the opportunity to learn and benefit from even one of these brilliant mentors?
Honestly, I am done living in the past and I don’t want to know… I am happy and grateful beyond words that each and every one of these people has touched my life in some meaningful way and look forward to the magnificence that future coaches will bring to the table that is my life.

I also spent some time thinking about the people I have coached and what I have brought to their lives, this journey was particularly meaningful. It makes my heart sing to know that MY work can make a difference.

So, the question was do YOU need a coach?

I say ABSOLUTELY!

I would love to hear your experiences, thoughts and questions about working with a coach, please share them with the Alpha Chick community on our Facebook page; or if they are of a more personal nature please email me at malduane [at] alphachick [dot] com.

Live Faithfully,
Mal Duane

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

Soul Journey to Love: 100 Days to Inner Peace by Dr. Irene A. Cohen, MD

I’m honored to host the Virtual Book Tour of Soul Journey to Love: 100 Days to Inner Peace by Irene A. Cohen, MD.

“Would you like to reach a state of inner peace, undisturbed by thoughts, feelings, or outside events? Soul Journey to Lovecontains 100 inspirational messages, prayers and processes for you to reflect upon and apply. The messages appeal to those who are interested in meditation and quieting the mind, and also to students of A Course in Miracles and non-dualistic philosophies. By reading these short, devotional entries you can be returned to your true self, to love and to God.” The book is endorsed by Larry Dossey & DavidPaul Doyle.

Enjoy this great article on Starting A Meditation Practice by Irene A. Cohen, MD

Research on meditation over the last 35 years has shown benefits to stress reduction, pain management, athletic performance, blood pressure reduction and so much more. In meditating, one learns to quiet the sympathetic nervous system (the “fight or flight response”) and increase the parasympathetic nervous system (the normal physiological functioning of the body of which we are usually not aware).

I am often asked what the benefits of meditation are and how to meditate. Many people feel they are too busy to take time out of their day or that they can’t quiet their minds enough to sit still. Yet they realize that they would like to achieve the effects of meditation, having been exposed to it at the end of a yoga class or by hearing about it in the media. In fact, a 2010 survey showed that more than 75% of Americans felt their stress level was high.

One should first set aside a regular practice time daily, either at the beginning or the end of the day. It is better to be seated and not lie down, because you do not want to fall asleep while meditating. The purpose is to have a focused, calm awareness and in sleep we lose awareness. You do not need to set aside a large portion of time to begin with, since you want to build up your practice to about 20-30 minutes. Try to sit for 1-2 minutes to start, then for 5 minutes, 10 minutes, or 15 minutes. Eventually you will be able to meditate for longer times. It is good to set a timer at the beginning in order to have a sense of how long a minute or two really is.

Secondly, in order to quiet the mind, most people need a focus of attention that is away from their thoughts. There is no need to obtain a mantra from a guru to focus one’s attention. Research done at the Benson-Henry Mind Body Medicine Institute at Harvard by Herbert Benson, M.D. showed that the “relaxation response” can be induced by thinking of a calming word like “peaceful” or “love.” Choose a word that resonates with you and say it to yourself silently over and over again with your eyes closed. Let thoughts come to you but pay them no attention. Just keep repeating your chosen word. Sometimes you will be lost in the thoughts, and that’s okay. Just return to your word again. Imagine a train passing by, and put the thoughts onto the train as it passes you, letting the thoughts go away. We will always have thoughts, but we need not pay so much attention to them.

There are many types of meditation, from using a mantra, to mindfulness, to just sitting in quietness. Try these simple exercises and then explore the style of meditation which will work best for you. Hopefully you will find that you can bring that calm and awareness you seek into your day.

Irene A. Cohen, MD is a psychiatrist, acupuncturist and interfaith minister who has maintained an integrative practice for almost 30 years. Hay House / Balboa Press just released her first book, Soul Journey to Love: 100 Days to Inner Peace . Visit Dr. Cohen on Facebook, follow her on Twitter, and blog with her at www.drirenecohen.authorsxpress.com.

Purchase Soul Journey to Love: 100 Days to Inner Peace by Dr. Irene A. Cohen, MD today on Amazon and on Kindle and win a signed paperback of Dr. Cohen’s book through August 14, 2012 at GoodReads!

Live Faithfully,
Mal Duane

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

Being Your Own Champion

“I think self-awareness is probably the most important
thing towards being a champion.”

Billy Jean King
Olympic Gold Medal Coach, Tennis

With the London 2012 Olympics upon us, I thought it was important to talk about being your own champion. This quote by Billy Jean King, a champion tennis player and a US Olympic Tennis Coach embodies my thoughts on the subject. But, being your own champion doesn’t necessarily involve being an Olympian, it may just involve reaching a small personal goal. But isn’t the path to discovering your true potential and purpose a collection of smaller steps?

I’m a big believer in the power of self-awareness, love and empowerment. I would like to share one of my favorite passages from my book Alpha Chick with you:

“Living my life as an Alpha Chick, I am aware now of my true potential and purpose. Self-awareness and serenity are my reality. Most of the time my life runs like a finely tuned piece of machinery, with all parts working in harmony with one another. I am no longer pulled in conflicting directions. I begin each day knowing and loving the woman I am. I appreciate everything I have: my husband, my health, my homes and my work.”

In life, we can cling to denial so vehemently, that it may become all we know. It blocks out positive energy and binds us to the past. But once you release your self-awareness, you can begin to accept what has happened in your past, stop resisting it and find forgiveness. Only then, you can approach life with a new attitude.

I invite you to download the Alpha Chick Action Guide which is based on the Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power that helped me change my life dramatically and is the structure of my coaching and my book Alpha Chick. The five steps together spell FAITH, embrace your FAITH and use the guide to help you through the changes that are necessary to discover your true voice and become your own champion.

F Focus
A Acceptance
I Identification
T Thoughts
H Healing

Congratulations on making the commitment to begin your personal transformation and embarking upon an amazing journey toward self-empowerment.

If you feel that you need some personal guidance along the way, please check out myEmpowerment Coaching services and packages.

Live Faithfully,
Mal Duane

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

Never Let Obstacles Get In Your Way

“Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them.

You will find that they haven’t half the strength you think they have”

-Norman Vincent Peale

In life, you will need to overcome many obstacles to be successful. This is true no matter what goal or accomplishment you are pursuing. If you are reaching toward a large objective, rest assured there will be some problems and roadblocks along the way.

Remember when a challenge appears, there is usually a lesson to be learned from it. Look for the seed of wisdom in the situation even if it is uncomfortable. Don’t allow others to sway you from your purpose. When you seek approval from others, you live by their standards, not your own. Learn to trust your own judgment. With practice you will recognize that your gut feeling is the right one. When you feel the vibration within, you will know that you are walking the right path.

With focus, preparation, training and commitment anything can be accomplished.

Here are my 4 steps to reaching any goal

Focus on your target. Write down in full, brilliant detail the thing you’d like to achieve. Then imagine yourself achieving it. What will reaching your goal feel like?
Gather your thoughts. Use your journal to write down all of the steps it will take to achieve your goal, from beginning to end.
Train properly to reach your goal. Whether it’s a degree, a certificate, or performing more research to gain a better understanding of how to achieve it.
Commit to your goal. Do at least one thing (large or small) to help you get closer to reaching it every day.

Stick to this plan, and before you know it, you will have reached your target

I congratulate you on making the commitment to begin your personal transformation and embarking upon an amazing journey toward self-empowerment.

If you feel that you need some personal guidance along the way, please check out my Empowerment Coaching services and packages.

Live Faithfully,
Mal Duane

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

Accept Yourself As You Are!

Accept yourself as YOU are!

“Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.”

E.E. Cummings

Fat. Ugly. Wrinkled. Have you ever found yourself looking in the mirror, when one of those words has crossed your mind? It’s labels like these that keep us focused on the superficial, add to our emotional baggage, and generally make us unhappy. So, I ask you: Why use labels? They are meant for clothes! An Alpha Chick always focuses on the positive, so I’m going to show you how.

Stop comparing yourself to other people: All of us were put on this earth as individuals, and we all have gifts and traits that are unique to us. Focus on the positive and let go of the negative labels.
Speak kindly to yourself: The next time you look in the mirror and think something negative, stop yourself and say something positive instead. It could be anything, from “Your hair looks great today,” to “I am a great mom to my kids.” Just a small adjustment can reset your attitude from negative to positive.
Share your positive feelings: People often are quick to complain or share negative feelings before they share positive ones. If someone brightened your day, even in a small way, be sure to let them know! Even a quick tweet can return the good feelings, it’s amazing how quickly sunshine can spread!
Self-care: Take a few minutes each day to do something nice for yourself: get a manicure, shut the phone off, take a walk, give yourself a hug.
Create a Gratitude List: Use the one in the Alpha Chick Action Guide for Personal Transformation, available on AlphaChick.com, or just use your journal. Every evening, before you go to bed, write down five things that you really appreciated from the day. Just noticing these things can help bring a smile to your face, and bring peace to your heart. You will not believe how this energy grows! Before you know it, you will be experiencing so much appreciation in your life for all the wonderful small things you never noticed before.

Take a few minutes every day to rid yourself of all the negative labels in your life and focus on your inner beauty. Remember that each person on this earth is unique, and you were put here for a reason.

I congratulate you on making the commitment to begin your personal transformation and embarking upon an amazing journey toward self-empowerment. If you feel that you need some personal guidance along the way, please check out my Empowerment Coachingservices and packages.

Live Faithfully,
Mal Duane

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.