Blog – Page 19

The Greatest Lesson I Learned in 2011!

Live your life with integrity and heart-centered intention.

For many years, I woke up every day paralyzed by my own fears. I would be tormented by the possibility that people would discover I was a fake; I wasn’t who I pretended to be. The persona I projected was this happy, fun loving care free, extremely funny girl who acted as though she had the world at her feet. Behind the mask that I wore for so many years was a deeply depressed and dependent soul searching to be loved. I would drink to feel good about myself but after a while the numbing effects didn’t work. On December 30, 1989 I thought I couldn’t continue. I did not see many options available to me. Death was starting to look like a pretty good one when I heard a voice I had never heard before giving me instructions. If I learned these lessons, my life would be amazing. That was the first day of the rest of my life. I started on a journey of personal transformation and empowerment and I have never looked back. Today I live my life with intention and integrity.

This year has been the most challenging for me personally and professionally. I don’t need to remind all of you what the real estate market is like. Going to work every day was like jumping in a pond with gators. People were fearful and anxious which ultimately caused very aggressive behavior. In addition to my real estate company, I finished the final touches on my book and launched the author platform. I never had any idea just how complicated and consuming this could be. I have been challenged more than once about various aspects of the book. Each time I was presented with conflict, I would step back and really focus on my intention. What am I trying to do here? Who am I trying to serve? Who will benefit from this? I soon recognized my heart centered intention for my work and for the book. I needed to listen to my “voice”, the authentic guidance that was coming from within.

If you work from your heart rather than your head, you can’t help but create what you want. When you know who you are and why you want to do something, you are connecting with your divine purpose. We all have a reason for being here. Take time to discover what ignites your passion to do a specific thing. When you heart is behind it, it becomes a perfect manifestation. Don’t allow other’s to sway you from your purpose. When you seek approval from others, you live by their standards not your own. You can feel the vibration within you, knowing that you are walking the right path. What you create will impact others in a positive way and at the same time contribute to your own personal growth. In the next few days spend time to discover your heart centered intention for 2012. Release the fearful you that thinks and reacts only from her head. Close the door on those negative thoughts that have been holding you back. Embrace the perfection of the image that you were created in. Start sharing your divine brilliance with the universe.

Live Faithfully,
Mal Duane

Mal Duane is a Certified Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome devastating life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships.
Please join Mal on February 7^th, 8^th and 9^th, 2012 for her Transformational Telesummit featuring such luminaries as Lissa Coffey, Joseph Rubino, Brenda Adelman and Christine Kloser as her guests. Her book Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power is being released on February 14, 2012 on Amazon.com.

Admired – The Gift of Soul Notes

This is a day to show your love for family and friends.
You are loved and admired by many.
Give thanks for all the love and support you have.
Continue to do my work.
This is your greatest reward.
Alpha Chick is ready.
Just go with the natural flow, no need to push!

Live Faithfully,
Mal Duane

Appreciate What You Have

This year I am especially grateful because after four years my book will be hitting Amazon for sale on February 14, 2012. I have to admit this is not a task for the light hearted. I have never worked as hard on a project in my life. At times I felt I was way beyond my capabilities. There were many sleepless nights and upset stomachs but I made it through. I never could have done all of this without the brilliant women who have supported me through this journey.

I know there was a divine intervention on my behalf to find me the most incredibly patient, talented and committed professionals to help me bring this book and the message it contains to those in need. I am so touched by the women that have reached out to share their lives with me. I am honored to be able to discuss the process of the five steps of Faith from the book with you. My mission is to help women to stop suffering and to discover their power so they may transform their lives.

Thank you ladies for making my dream a reality this year.

Sabrina, Melysha, Deborah, D’Vorah, Jana, Ellen, Lynn, and Barbara

You are my Alpha Angels.

I know firsthand that God gives us what we need if we are open to receive it. Without the continual inspiration and guidance from my husband, I might not have made it to the finish line. Michael, you are my rock. I never would have attempted writing the book without your support. You inspire me to do more than I ever thought possible.

I hope that all of you will experience the same appreciation for what you have this Holiday season. It is so easy to become swept away by all the advertising to buy and buy and buy more. The things that really make us feel the best in life are those things that you cannot buy. Embrace the people you have in your life. Appreciate them for who they are. Time passes so quickly and sadly we can lose those we love.

With heart felt gratitude and deep appreciation, I wish you and your family Happy and Healthy Holidays.

Mal

Joy and “Holi-daze”

During this joyful time of year, do you ever find yourself looking for a retail solution to a spiritual problem? Frantically shimmying into a dress maybe one size too small in an effort to find the right holiday party look? Looking for the elusive perfect gift for your difficult brother-in-law and hitting store after store and in a catatonic daze with the florescent mall lighting and muzak giving you a headache? Parched without an Orange Julius in sight?

The holidays have a way of bringing out this type of manic behavior in the best of us. I like to call this phenomenon the “Holi-daze.” A trans-like state through which we function during this overwhelming, over-stimulating, highly drama-filled time of year.

But ‘tis the season and holiday spirit is contagious right about now. Unfortunately, it has a tendency to reach epidemic proportions spreading like a Charlie Sheen rant on Youtube. Although the CDC does not officially recognize this type of sick behavior that inhabits most of the population every December as an ailment, many of us feel the pressure and fatigue building in our bodies and could use a little release from the insanity of Holiday fever. Instead of self-medicating with too much of Aunt Judy’s famous eggnog or clenching your jaw and waiting for the whole ordeal to be over, try a different stance this year by giving yourself the gift that keeps on giving– your personal self worth.

I don’t think I am alone in knowing the feeling of self-esteem taking a whooping around the holidays. The whole pomp and circumstance of December festivities makes the perfect storm for anxiety and insecurity about your life. Factors such as being inundated with boyfriends (or girlfriends) from Christmas (rather: high school) past, buying presents that will take all of 2012 to pay off, dealing with pushy relatives and too much commotion in general all contribute to the well-documented state of holiday blues. But there is one element within your control and that is how you treat and view yourself amidst all of the flurry.

For me, the holidays pose an added layer of stress and, sometimes, frustration. As a recovered alcoholic, these weeks create some vivid recall from my drinking days when Christmas cheer was synonymous with an icy martini and a long night of revelry. But today I have a different agenda in approaching the holiday season. I look forward to genuine time spent with my family and the gift of seeing people close to me that have since moved far away. A successful season is not measured by how great and extravagant the parties and dinners were that I attended. Instead, I look at how meaningful my interactions have become and what a blessing it is to connect with people in the spirit of true joy and giving. For me, this constitutes self-worth. My attitude shift toward my own value as a person, sister, friend and aunt has permeated my relationships with all of those around me.

I place more value now on feeling comfortable in the midst of others and I receive satisfaction in knowing that my more thoughtful and reflective style of communicating makes others feel comfortable as well. I believe people feed off the energy of those by whom they are surrounded. Now I am attracting interesting characters that have something real to say. My new energy comes from my internal transition; the time I have taken to reflect and appreciate what I have to offer.

If you are visiting Mal’s site and reading this column, it is already clear that you are interested in a exploring a road to self-discovery. I am equally willing to wager that you are finding some pretty terrific facets of yourself. So during this holiday season, I invite you to take a little time for yourself in between shopping, cooking and refereeing your relatives to enjoy spending time with someone who knows you best and misses you—yourself. Whether it is meditating or simply deep breathing for five minutes, taking a bath or going for a pedi, give yourself a gift that does not cost a penny but keeps delivering in abundance. Give yourself the best of you.

Shining brightly,

Erin2.0

Erin 2.0 recently celebrated her second anniversary as a sober person with friends, family and her shih tzu, Purdy. After years of living in London, New York, Chicago, Miami and San Francisco for work and play, she finally hung her hat in Texas where she is currently doing post-graduate work in Addiction Counseling. Her next goal is to get a ten-gallon hat.

Nudges – The Gift of Soul Notes

You ask to see my face. Know that you can see it anytime. Just close your eyes for I am in your soul. All your prayers are being answered. You just may not know it yet. Know that I am working very closely with you. I am giving you little nudges. Remember, I have all the answers. Enjoy this glorious sunny day and be well my child.

Live Faithfully,
Mal Duane

Peace For You – The Gift of Soul Notes

You come to me with complete peace of mind today, no attachments.
You have an inner knowledge that things are getting better.
Go and do my work today, treat everyone with love.
Have patience for those who are not as fortunate as you.
Your Mom and Dad send their love.

Feeling Better – The Gift of Soul Notes

To feel better, come to me every day in prayer and reflection. Have faith in me and let go of the outcome as you teach.

Have I ever let you down? Your ego mind weakens as we work together. Know that every day brings you closer to more business deals and closer to the completion of your book.

Spring will bring rejuvenation of a weakened economy and all that you seek.

Just come to me, the rest is taken care of.

Live Faithfully,
Mal Duane

Single, Sober and Sailing through the Holidays

Erin 2.0

“I am allergic to alcohol… I break out in handcuffs.” I love that line. It is always a crowd pleaser in a social situation; the ensuing boisterous laughter is an assuaging ego boost. It also has the added benefit of reminding me that I am still the same pithy, witty woman I was once upon a time before my drinking career careened out of control, ran a few red lights, got into some fender benders and eventually accumulated some serious enough accidents; eventually there was no choice but to hit a brick wall.

Fast forward a couple of years and that enchanting creature who left crowds roaring and toasted many towns is back on the party train– sober and loving it. The most notable difference being that I now remember my raucous good nights on the town. Equally important is that I get to wake up the next day feeling bright-eyed and well rested. It is also notable that I no longer have regrets and remorse from any of the previous night’s activities. I am a recovered alcoholic. My name is Erin. Consider me your conduit for sober fun and tips for staying sober during the most binge-drinking time of the year (can be sung along to the tune of “Most Wonderful Time of the Year”.)

December is that special time of year that makes all other less party-filled months pale in comparison. For instance, June has nothing on December when it comes to festive celebrations. I cannot recall anyone in my social circles loading up the back of their SUV with strapping boxes of premium liquor and wine, polishing their crystal glassware and hiring a couple of bartenders for Flag Day. Do not even get me started on April. For the drinking party-goer that is a rough patch. I guess one could always convene with a group of like-minded party lovers to commiserate over the showers or start preparing for a May flowers party over a couple bottles of Chardonnay.

I think you may see where I am going with all of this. We live in a culture that loves to celebrate. And that is fabulous. But we also live in a culture that loves to imbibe. Alcohol. That is a trickier proposition for those of us that do not drink or party in the hard sense, for whatever personal or health reason. After a couple of years of not drinking in social situations, I am actually looking forward to the social events that I will be attending this Holiday season.

The next several weeks of holiday festivities and New Years parties are the perfect time of year for sober-minded individuals to have the opportunity of collectively celebrating their freedom from the almighty bottle. For me, it has become a time to enjoy myself and be fully present in the moment when I meet up with people that I do not see often enough or maybe meet an interesting recruit in the crowd. I have found I am a better listener and assume I am a more enjoyable conversationalist by not repeating myself and punctuating my loud remarks with huge swigs of my dangerously empty drink. Perhaps my most endearing new trait is my eye contact which happens often now since I am not always eyeball surfing over the heads of the crowd in search of a passing waiter with a platter of drinks. It is a new twist and actually a welcome challenge to socialize without a liquid buffer in my hand.

In my opinion, the genuine pleasure to be amongst the company of others must come from within. By this I mean an individual must enjoy their own company before they invite others over to play. I can be quite the wise grasshopper when I wax philosophic. The confidence and enjoyment that I feel within myself when I am around others began with my recovery process from alcohol and, ahem, other things. As many of you know, alcohol is merely a symptom of a greater problem. Mind altering substances are a way to numb your feelings and your life. So going through the process of giving up chemicals while doing the work to find out who the person is underneath can be truly exhilarating and gratifying. I sincerely believe this applies to you as much as it does to my own personal experience.

I feel comfortable in my recovery and continually awed by the accompanying positive changes I have seen in myself and my life. How I feel about myself translates into how I behave and view others today. In my previous incarnation, I did not know who I was because being an active alcoholic consumed my identity. It takes so much less out of me to develop my social skills and work on my personal development than it did to plan my next drink. I find this approach is works in my relationship with me, God and others. I just giving my public they want.

I will approach my social engagements this season (hopefully with you in tow!) as a single woman. I live in Texas, known for its sprawling landscape, awesome barbeque and friendly folks. A lesser known quality about this part of the Lone Star state is the high percentage of married couples and permanently paired-off ones. They will more than likely be my fellow party guests. This creates a new and different situation for Erin 2.0 (as I like to refer to myself on occasion as a reference to my new incarnation as a delightful sober woman). My motivation for attending parties these days has nothing to do with free drinks or meeting the future Mr. It is refreshing and a little daunting to go out with no agenda or expectations.

Happy Everything,
Erin 2.0

P.S. Stay tuned next week when I hit the party circuit!

Appreciation – The Gift of Soul Notes

Today is a day of appreciation for you, look how far you have come in your practice. Many good things have happened this week for you. You understand that your soul comes to me. People are learning from this. Truth and values are being restore

Live Faithfully
Mal Duane

Criticism – The Gift of Soul Notes

Show you care to everyone you work with or have in your life. People will respond well to people who care about them.

When you feel depressed, fearful or angry, you are not connected to me. Just stop and take a few moments to reconnect. It is very simple and you have the ability.

You are meant to live everyday with joy and fun. Do not let someone else’s criticism take you down or off your path.

Live Faithfully
Mal Duane