Blog – Page 23

Guidance – The Gift of Soul Notes

Guidance

Your mind wonders but it is alright. Follow my lead. Have faith in what you are doing. You have been shown a sign that things will be OK.

Acceptance can be a tough lesson. You have many skills, now is the time to use them. Fear not, just hold me in your heart. My messages are for your joy and comfort but you may share them.

Live Faithfully,
Mal Duane

Mal Duane is a certified Personal Life Coach with more than 23 years in recovery from alcoholism, who has overcome devastating life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships and attract that which they most desire, as she has, through a connection to the divine power within. Her book Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power is coming in February 2012.

Be sure to subscribe to this blog for regular Alpha Chick updates and invitation to the Alpha Chick telesummit coming soon.

Dr. Drew – The Real Deal Rehab

It is encouraging to see that there is really someone out there that gets the whole addiction thing. Over the past few years, I have become a fan of Dr. Drew Pinsky. Dr. Drew is one of the few people involved in the world of celebrity addictions who tells it like it is. He is not hood-winked by star status, nor is he influenced by those whining parents who ramble on with denials about their children’s addictions and despicable actions. Dr. Drew is for real and he earns the respect of the famously disturbed individuals he assists into recovery. He is blatantly honest and doesn’t sugarcoat his therapeutic recommendations. I feel Dr. Drew really understands the mind-boggling state of addiction.

Before I got into recovery, I did see a therapist for a few years. He was more interested in the famous people I knew and had dated than in my current state of being. Interestingly, in our many sessions the word “alcoholism” never came up; and we’re talking years of therapy.When I look back, I can’t imagine how he missed the warning signs that I was drinking too much. He ended up prescribing medication for my anxiety. So, not only was I drinking too much but taking a medication that should never have been mixed with alcohol.

In 1989, I got into the Alcoholics Anonymous program. After several months I realized it would take more than just AA meetings to keep me on the right path. I had to make a commitment to a new way of life. This meant changing my schedule and filling my time with very different things than I did before. It also required that I make new friends and let my “party friends” go. Most importantly, I needed to have a spiritual practice to anchor the dramatic change that was taking place in my life. Through meditation and prayer, I was able to connect regularly to a different voice that was guiding me on my path of transformation.

Recovery requires honesty, commitment and in many cases a stay in a rehabilitation center. And Dr. Drew is a strong proponent for rehab, as he encourages his celebrity clients to check into a center. He understands that the purpose of that stay is to teach the patient a new way of life – organizing their activities so that they support their recovery – not pull them away from it. Rehab helps the patient identify the significant changes required and then helps the patient create the structure.

The world could use a lot more Dr. Drew’s to help people find their path to recovery. Sugar-coating the issue doesn’t get you there nor does the sensationalism of the press.

Live Faithfully,

Mal Duane
Alpha Chick

Be sure to subscribe to this blog for regular Alpha Chick updates and invitation to the Alpha Chick telesummit coming soon.

The Power of Choice – Reflections on Amy Winehouse

Choice is an opportunity; it is a gift we are all given when we are created. However, over time we lose sight of the fact that we have the ability to choose. I think the loss starts when we are very young. We want to be good, we want to be accepted, we want to fit in. And so instead of asserting to choose, we compromise and go along with people or with the situation. Over time this compounds so that we barely recognize any longer that we have choice as an option. In short, it becomes so much easier if we don’t say no.

As we lose the power to choose, we can easily replace it with damaging bad habits. It is so easy to turn to something that comforts us and weakens our power even further. I suspect that this was part of the problem for Amy Winehouse. She lost her power of choice. She became tied to alcohol and drugs. No matter what rehab center they sent her to, she returned to the comfort of anesthetizing herself and drowning the voice she did not want to hear. The courage to choose a different path had been stripped away by all the sensationalism written about her psychological decline and frequent binges. They painted a gory picture of this poor, suffering soul who lost her grip on reality. This young woman had very little left to hang on to. Sadly something happened last Friday night to Amy Winehouse. We do not know what the official cause of her death was. I suspect it was related to making the wrong choice, probably the only one she thought she had.

Through my own experience with alcohol, I can relate to feeling like this. The addiction clouds your process to make decisions. If you or someone you know is suffering from an addiction, simply try to stop even for just one day. The fog will start to clear and you will see that you do have the power of choice. It was there all the time. Choice brings you joy!

I would love to hear your own inspiring stories of how you moved from pain to power by over coming addictions. Please leave your comments below. I really look forward to reading them.

Live Faithfully,

Mal Duane
Alpha Chick

Be sure to subscribe to this blog for regular Alpha Chick updates and invitation to the Alpha Chick telesummit coming soon.

Thank You Elizabeth Ann – A Farewell to Betty Ford

“My makeup wasn’t smeared, I wasn’t disheveled, I behaved politely,and I never finished off a bottle, so how could I be alcoholic?” ~Betty Ford

A woman that I admire passed away a few days ago. We heard the news on TV about the death of the amazing former First Lady, Betty Ford. She was recognized worldwide for her candor about her personal struggles with breast cancer, alcohol and addiction. Shortly after leaving the White House she admitted she was going into treatment for her addiction. The preconceived face of the female alcoholic changed that day, replaced by this beautiful, smart, energetic woman who famously behaved politely. She wasn’t a stumbling, rude, social misfit! It was a giant step for women struggling with alcoholism and addiction. Through her public admission, Mrs. Ford removed the social stigma of women’s addictions

She helped so many women by being open about her own battles. Mrs. Ford openly discussed her breast cancer and the required surgery with the press. She posed for photos shortly after her operation and was very candid about her mastectomy. This─ at a time when the word was barely whispered! A subject that had been taboo became news headlines and people were finally free to openly discuss their personal battles.

Mrs. Ford was a strong women’s advocate throughout her life. I loved reading an article about her recently that described her going to the Betty Ford clinic, walking into meetings and introducing herself: “Hi, I am Betty Ford; I am an alcoholic and an addict”. I can just imagine the reassurance that her presence gave the others in attendance.

Living life authentically, with grace and appreciation for what you have, is what Betty Ford showed us all how to do. Even when confronted with personal challenges, she openly shared her feelings of trepidation about them. I know that she has left an indelible mark in the recovery community and has advanced the treatment of addiction to where it is today. Thank you, Betty Ford.

If you’ve been moved by the life of Betty Ford or other inspirational women, famous or not, who have overcome addictions or other forms of abuse, please share your stories and reflections below! I look forward to reading them.

Live Faithfully,

Mal Duane
Alpha Chick

Be sure to subscribe to this blog for regular Alpha Chick updates and invitation to the Alpha Chick telesummit coming soon.

Self-Love Is a Long Term Relationship

With all the news of Weinergate in the past few weeks, it made me realize how important self-love is for women. During my days of margaritas and mindless men, Anthony Weiner would have been just the kind of man I would have pursued. Because I lacked self-love, I constantly looked for validation from the most improbable characters. I would attract heartless, self-serving, dishonest men like Mr. Weiner. This guy has been carrying on cyber-sex with multiple partners while his loving wife is preparing for her first child. Another politician who is obviously poison to women.

Ladies, we need to be advocates for one another and put these vermin back into the holes they climb out of. As self-loving respecting women, we can stop replying to the sexting, the emails and the subliminal thoughts of these creeps and cut the cord to their illicit pleasures. If no one responds to the internet/texting advances that these disgusting men send out, their promiscuous games end. I strongly suggest if you know someone who is subjected to the advances of a cyber-pervert, help them to turn him into the authorities. Watch how quickly their filthy abuse of the internet will disappear. We have the power, let’s use it!

Please share any good ideas you have, I would love to read them.

Alpha Chick

Transformation Is A Journey

When we set out on a journey, it takes more than one step to create a path. It takes many steps and a commitment to keep moving forward. Transforming your life requires the same commitment and action steps forward. A wonderful tool for self-discovery and building action steps is journaling.

Journaling allows your authentic self to step forward and remove the dark shadows of living under other’s expectations. You can rebirth the voice of your true expression without fear. I personally find it so liberating to write exactly how I feel. It helps me develop clarity as to what I really want to attract into my life.

Five of my favorite journaling questions to stimulate my writing are:

1. What can I let go of today that will release any limitations I may be feeling?

2. Why is this person or situation causing me to feel negative about myself?

3. Are other people’s opinions or perceptions controlling what I feel today?

4. What inspired action could I take to change the situation?

5. What is my vision for how I want things to be?

Allow a little time daily for self- exploration and opening your intuition to the answers hidden within your consciousness. Try for several days and let me know if your perception starts to shift and a more positive and powerful you begins to emerge.

Live Faithfully.

Mal Duane
Alpha Chick

Praise and Celebrate Life

The more you praise and celebrate life, the more there is in life to celebrate.
-Oprah Winfrey

In light of Oprah’s show coming to an end this week, I felt it appropriate to use a quote by this magnificent woman. I personally cannot think of another woman who overcame so much in their personal lives. I listened to her last week speaking of when she was a small child forced to sleep on a porch because her relative that was supposed to care for her did not like her. She has spoken openly of her abuse, her troublesome teen years, failed relationships and constant battle with her weight.

As she matured, she obviously developed a vision of how she wanted her life to be. It is apparent she never lost sight of it. Through incredible hard work, focus and determination, she created a media empire, second to none. When a woman taps into their divine will, never discouraged determination and a burning desire to help others, they become unstoppable. We are all born with divine will; we just need to take the time to find it.

Thank you Oprah for all you have done in the past twenty five years to help women worldwide. I know you have inspired me personally to do more, give more and live life to the fullest.

You are an Alpha Chick Queen.

Action Step: What vision do you have for your life that you are willing to work on with unstoppable determination? Please share with us on AlphaChick.com and Facebook.

Mal Duane
Alpha Chick

Give A Hug and A Pinch of Prosperity

I listened to a fascinating web recording the other day of Ellie Drake, founder of BraveHeart Women. She was discussing Oxytocin, which she called the prosperity hormone. What a great name she has given it. It has also been referred to as the love hormone. Women produce it during child birth and it helps them with the delivery and then bonding with the child. Well, Oxytocin makes women feel good, secure and more willing to engage with other people. When we are distressed or fearful, if we could produce Oxytocin rather than Adrenalin what a difference it could make for the quality of our relationships, communications and productivity. A simple hug can help with the production of Oxytocin. Listen to this fascinating video, Dr Cohen discusses Oxytocin

Give your Alpha Chick friends a hug today and pass the prosperity around. Please post comments on how you feel!

A Matter of Perspective

I Choose To Feel Good!

I am feeling totally overwhelmed from the weather and just about ready hit myself on the head with a shovel or jump on a plane. Then I start thinking, who is in control here? What have I been practicing all these years about positive thinking and perspective. I read a great quote yesterday from Cathy Matarazzo, Spiritual Coach and Author.

“EVERYTHING lies within the PERSPECTIVE we choose to EMBRACE!!”

To me, that says it all. I can focus on the ice dams that are leaking into my basement or make a shift and watch Hannah, my beautiful little dog thoroughly enjoy her perspective of her first winter. She just loves it. So, I guess it really comes down to what is going to make me feel good. What is your choice?

I Believe The Universe Supports Me

The Power of Now

When I started my personal recovery and transformation over twenty years ago, I realized early on what I was thinking was directly impacting the path I traveled. I started using affirmations and I must admit being a type “A” personality, I had practically wallpapered my home in them. Everywhere I turned there were yellow patches. I was desperately trying to change that screaming egotistical little voice inside of me that I call mini me. Her name is Louise. Louise is always reminding me that I should of, was less than or never going to. She thrives on negativity and she loves suffering. Happily, I now manage Louise but it took time and effort. Giving my ego an identity helped me to recognize my negative thinking.

I want to share with you a wonderful small book by Eckhart Tolle, “Practicing the Power of Now”. It was instrumental in teaching me to let go of the past, stay out of the future and fully experience the present. Now my emotions and my thoughts are in alignment, allowing me to be a better woman than I thought I could be. As you discover who you really are, you open yourself up to a life of greater achievement and to experience all the good life has to offer. Now all the positive energy I put out there is what the Universe is sending back to me.

Mal Duane
Alpha Chick