Mal Duane Coach

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Acceptance

acceptanceGood morning beautiful!

Whatever you resist, persists. – Have you ever heard this saying?

It means whatever you are trying to push away or deny, is gonna show up somehow. An example of this is with emotional eating. A friend of mine kept latching on to this phrase for some reason, always telling
herself, I don’t have an issue with this. But this phrase kept popping into her brain. And little by little she began to listen to the voice. And then as she opened the door a little bit, she began to notice that yes, sometimes she would snack not out of genuine hunger but out of boredom, anxiety or the inability to fall asleep. Only then was she able to see her buried emotions and feelings. And boy do we not want to feel our feelings sometimes.

For me, I really have to be present, aware and VERY self-loving to be able to tap into my inner self and what is going on with me. If I don’t, and I resist these feelings or messages from the Universe, they will make themselves known – be it through a migraine, a fall, a forgotten appointment. We have so much to deal with as very sensitive human beings and our emotional health is just as complex and needs just as much care and monitoring as our physical health—although our society is just catching up with these ideas and the culture is finally adopting some healing concepts such as mindfulness and vulnerability as strength.

Unfortunately, just because you stick your head in the sand doesn’t mean that whatever is going on just disappears. Similarly, trying to be a size 2 or the perfect wife won’t hush the voices reminding you of something your mother constantly told you you weren’t great at. The trick is to listen to those voices and then feel the feelings attached to them. Yoga can really help with this process of listening to learn to love ourselves.

“No amount of self-improvement can make up for a lack of self-acceptance.”

– Anonymous

What I am really referencing is the powerful practice of acceptance. Sounds simple but our ego and defenses try to protect us from feeling hurt or rejected, because when we were younger and dependent on our caregivers for survival, it was too scary to hear such criticisms or in some cases very hurtful or outright abusive statements. When you accept something you acknowledge that it is true, that it has happened. You are not judging it as right or wrong but just as is. However we put ourselves through unnecessary suffering and anguish by resisting. This ultimately causes more pain than the original event. We can’t change the facts but we can change the meaning we assign to them and therefore, move past them.

One of our biggest challenges is accepting things about ourselves. We can tolerate ungodly things from others but wow do we beat ourselves up over the smallest things. Whatever you did yesterday or a year ago has no bearing on who you are today. So along with our resistance to what is comes a whole lot of judgement. Now we add our personal perspective to the equation and things can get really ugly.

As Brene Brown says, “You either walk inside your story and own it or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.”

Acceptance takes practice. However once you get it life becomes increasingly easier on you! It doesn’t mean you are letting someone off for their inappropriate behavior.  With acceptance, you are no longer consumed by what they did and now you can move on in a more constructive manner with your life.

This work isn’t for the fainthearted. But the rewards are so worth it!! You can have peace of mind and a forgiving and loving relationship with yourself, which can free you up to take on a new challenge or creative project-the world can open up in incredible ways! Step two of my transformational coaching process is Acceptance. If you would like to learn Acceptance and work with me on a personal one-on-one level, please reach out malduane@gmail.com.

Live Faithfully,

mal-duane-sig

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Celebrate with me! My new book #ChoosingHappiness is here!

I am not letting the cold weather and mounds of snow keep me from doing what I need to do today.

You see today’s the day I’ve been dreaming about for months!

CH-Cover-200x278I am celebrating the official birth of my book “Inspiration for a Woman’s Soul: Choosing Happiness” featuring my transformational story, “What Happens When Your Heart Breaks Open ” and just released by Inspired Living Publishing!

I’m honored to be a part of this sacred project along with 26 extraordinary women. Each woman, despite the trials and tribulations of her life, proves that true fulfillment is the result of connecting with her inner wisdom and making choices to honor the truths revealed there. The Reflection Questions after each story create a unique ‘active reading experience’ which will empower you to integrate the vital lessons of each woman’s journey into your own life.

Like so many women, I once believed that when I had experienced, achieved, or accumulated my heart’s desires, only THEN would I be happy.

It took me many years to realize that I had the power to choose happiness, that my happiness was my responsibility. I always believed that the right dress, job or boyfriend would make me feel complete. Nothing could be further from the truth. This book contains a powerful message that women need to understand. There are 26 personal and touching stories from real women sharing how they decided to choose happiness.

I’d be honored to have your support today to help my inspirational book reach bestseller status and transform thousands of women’s lives around the world.

Claim your copy today and receive thousands in transformational gifts for a limited time. >> //bit.ly/Happiness_Book

The truth is, until we choose happiness right here, right now, in the midst of life’s messiness, we will be forever searching.

The honest, authentic stories featured in Choosing Happiness will make you smile, cry, and laugh out loud. More importantly, they’ll prove that everyone, no matter her background or circumstances, can make the powerful choice to be happy.

Seven inspiring chapters include:

  • Happiness is… Making a Choice
  • Happiness is… Letting Go
  • Happiness is… Freedom
  • Happiness is… Forgiveness
  • Happiness is… Healing
  • Happiness is … Connection
  • Happiness is … Loving Yourself
Choosing Happiness Book Trailer: //youtu.be/hzwbjUOS8PU

Let’s get this transformational book into the hands of women everywhere to boost their happiness. Order a copy for yourself and the women in your life.

Claim a copy of Choosing Happiness today and receive thousands in transformational gifts for a limited time! >> //bit.ly/Happiness_Book

Please consider sharing the love and spreading the message of #ChoosingHappiness with your social media families. It’s easy! Just click to tweet!

Love and Live Faithfully,

Mal

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Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, CBS Radio, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over one hundred Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

 

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Was that intentional?

IMG_1159Are you one of those people that wake up daily and allows circumstances to unfold and pull you all over the place? Well if the answer is yes, don’t feel too badly. Most people live their lives this way. They jump from one situation to the next without a plan or thoughtful response. I call this living life as a reactionary. I know because I was one. I use to feel like one of those whirling punching toys for kids.

Being a reactionary brings on high stress levels which can cause cortisol to spike in the body, increase heart rate and an assortment of other physical ailments. When you start your day without intention on how you would like things to be, you know what you get? You are living your life as a slave to old behaviors and thoughts. You end up expending twice as much energy only to accomplish half of what you could have done.

But when you set an intention on how your day is going to be, your experience is very different. You start your day waking up on time and focused on what you want to happen. Intention connects with your purpose. Instead of a day filled with random acts that have no meaningful connection, life becomes a progression of synchronistic activities that support your desires.

Intention gives you an element of control because you have a vision. You are putting out energetically what you desire. The Universe responds to your energy. Intentions have your soul behind them and are far more powerful than a written goal. You are living from your heart and not reacting from your head. When you set an intention daily you break the pattern of old habits that may no longer serve you. Instead you are taking deliberate actions that support your desires and not someone else’s.

Here are three steps for intentionally creating what you want in your life.

  1. Get a cute spiral notebook, a calendar with pull off pages or a journal. I use a calendar from Abraham Hicks that I just love. The page has two columns, things I intend to do today and how I intend to be today. On the other side are fabulous quotes from Abraham.
  2. Take 15 minutes before you go to sleep and write down your top three intentions for the next day and why you want them. As you sleep the intentions are sinking into your conscious mind.
  3. When you wake up review your intentions for 5 minutes and revise if needed.

You will absolutely be amazed at the ease and grace that shows up in your day as you work through your intentions. You will start to eliminate haphazard chaos, confusion and uncertainty.

Intention brings clarity which creates the results you want!

Intention is the magnet for attracting your desires!

My dear ones, we are all born with intention inside of us. Now go use it!

Wishing you an intentionally magnificent day!

 

Faithfully,

Mal

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Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, CBS Radio, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over one hundred Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

 

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What are you missing?

IMG_1127Today I was out walking my dog early in the morning. It is a beautiful New England Fall day. There is a slight chill in the air and the colorful leaves were falling to the ground like big pieces of confetti. My dog, Hannah (she is really my soul sister) wanted to stop and the smell flowers. She stood there sniffing different ones and was having the best time. Immediately I thought to myself, when was the last time I stopped to smell the flowers.

It made me realize how caught up we get with our electronics, our inbox or some other thing that pulls us away from our precious present moment. Time is flying by far too quickly. It seems like it was spring yesterday. Where did the summer go?

What was really startling for me was the realization that I have not been appreciating some of the small beautiful things around me each day. I have been living out of my head too much these past few months. Bless you Hannah for pulling me back to reality.

We continued our walk and I could feel my eyes tear up with gratitude for having Hannah and for the both of us being so healthy that we can be out and about enjoying the beautiful weather. This is something I have been taking for granted but I will not any more.

Sadly when I was walking around San Diego last week, I saw homeless women all over the place. It broke my heart because I couldn’t believe how many there were. I stopped and talked to several and gave them money for food. I asked them about their circumstances. Various things had happened financially that forced them to now live out of a shopping cart. They can survive there because of the mild climate. You shake your head in disbelief that women could be living like this in this day and age.

I realized how fortunate I am. I have a beautiful home, food on the table and nice clean clothes to wear.

The next time you are out walking about, pay attention to what is happening around you. Take it all in, breath in the fresh air. Do you notice some one who could use a helping hand? What do you see that makes you feel so grateful for all that you have? You will be amazed at what you have not been seeing.

Life is too short dear friend not to appreciate every minute of it. You can always get more stuff but you can’t buy more time. Make every day a special day. Oh and most important, touch someone’s heart with your loving kindness.

 

Faithfully,

Mal

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Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, CBS Radio, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over one hundred Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

 IMG_1127-225x300

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How important is Mindset?

Mindset is “a habitual mental attitude that determines how you will interpret and respond to situations.”

After reading that definition from Webster’s Dictionary, it stopped me in my tracks. I never thought of how important mindset is and it can direct your life.

Mindset is not some diddly little attitude you walk around with. In fact it is the lens you look at life with. Your own personal filtering system on how you will play the game of life.

I consider myself as someone who has a very positive attitude, always looking at the glass half full. But honestly, I have never delved into consciously studying how I respond to situations. Not until now.

I am a very strong believer that you are not meant to walk this journey of life and personal awakening alone. I am completely transparent about my 25 years of addiction and 26 years of recovery. Did I do this alone? Hell no!

At different stages of personal discovery, I sought out coaches that were proficient in taking me to the next level and mentors that would inspire me to open my mind to endless new possibilities. Without the help of these glorious souls who contributed greatly to my development, I would not be the woman I am today. I have become masterful in so many areas of my life and I now teach other woman to do the same.

Women are meant to live passionate and purposeful lives. Once you have the lessons, the strategy for mastering the game of life, you become a powerful creator in your life. You realize you are deserving of all your desires.

I am off to participate in a Mindset Retreat with the acclaimed Fabienne Fredrickson. I am so excited for the opportunity to go. It’s one more step in my personal development to be the best expression of myself. The wiser and more conscious I IMG_1035become the better coaching and support I can offer the women I am blessed to serve.

What I am discovering is that my life will be a process of continued self-discovery, revelations and releasing what no longer serves me. When I think I know it all, a cosmic 2X4 hits me on the head to wake me up. I will never have all the answers but the pursuit of finding them is absolutely delicious.

I can’t wait to share with all of you when I return what I learn from the Mindset Reatreat.

I will post some golden nuggets on Facebook while I am gone. Stop by personal page (facebook.com/malduane) or my Fanpage //www.facebook.com/malduanecoach for a sneak peak.

Faithfully,

Mal

If you like our content sign up here for updates and a free gift!


Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, CBS Radio, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over one hundred Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

 

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