I realized yesterday that my life is really a series of graduations from different phases of self-expression. Simply put, the first half of my life was all about resistance to “what is” and living my life blinded by my own beliefs. Then I graduated to a life of acceptance: living with “what is” and understanding that my beliefs might not reflect the truth.
When we accept something, we are not saying that we approve of it, we are simply no longer resisting it. When we resist, we put valuable energy into a situation that cannot be changed. We are unable to rewrite the script. So why invest valuable energy in something you cannot change? Why hold on so dearly to a situation that has no bearing on where you are today? What if, instead, you accept the situation as it is? Through acceptance we are able to release the hold we have put on ourselves. Once we accept, we can then reclaim our power and our right to choose.
Many unbearable things may happen to us in life. The longer we resist, the harder we try to change the situation and this results in more suffering. By accepting these unbearable situations, we can free our hearts and minds from endless days of anguish.
I personally carried disappointments and failed relationships around for years. They were the root of my self-imposed suffering. The pain I felt created an image of worthlessness and doom. All I knew was what I believed. I embraced alcohol to make myself feel better. At first that worked, but then the pain reoccurred. Before long I was consumed again and feeling there was no way to survive the pain. At a very low moment, I realized I could accept all the heartache I felt, as it no longer had any bearing on my current reality. The veil of illusion was lifted and an awakened woman emerged.
So much personal suffering is tied to resistance. Open your minds and your hearts. Welcome in acceptance and feel the shift of your personal power rush though you. Step 2 of the Five Steps of Faith from my book, Alpha Chick is to say “I accept disappointments, fears and sorrows so I may free myself from a past that no longer serves me, and I consciously change my attitude so that I may live the joyous life that is always available to me”.
How can you apply this to your own life? Please share some of your action steps.
Live Faithfully,
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Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, CBS Radio, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over one hundred Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.
Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.
When you are able to tell your story, you free yourself from the bondage of the past. Revealing is healing. It is a process of cleansing the soul of any old and unnecessary debris from the past. Sadly, most of you do just the opposite. You spend precious time supposedly living in secret, burning a hole in your heart as well as your stomach.
Why do we get so beaten down and hopeless that we can’t create what we want in our lives? I am here to tell you, maybe even while standing on a roof top shouting that we most certainly can. Like everything else in life, there is a formula. Once you have that the rest is easy.
The moment you were created you were filled with your own personal will power. As a young child you asserted yourself frequently with such expressions as No! and Mine! You fully grasped the feeling of using your will power. At three years old you could probably express your boundaries better than you do today! Slowly, life started to chip away at your will power by others telling you to be good, be quiet and good little girls don’t do that. Sadly, that free will turned into reservation, self- doubt and in many cases, fear. Your will power to be an individual and express concerns and desires became clouded over by the crap that others were saying to you. Many of the things said to you were invalid and self-serving for the other person.