A new year is here!
I am honored to bring you the stories and wisdom of these 12 inspiring women who have awakened to their inner truth and are joining me with the collective intent to empower YOUto believe in the power of possibility. Women just like you who have discovered the tools and inner strength to overcome self-defeating thoughts and habits & obstacles to live a life of passion & purpose. Each woman knows first-hand what it takes to move forward, break through life’s roadblocks and release the self-doubt that once held her back. Our collective vision is that every woman awakens to the truth of who she is and boldly, bravely lives a life of passion and purpose. REGISTER TODAY > >>//bit.ly/positiveshift I’m honored to be your guide throughout this transformational six week series launching on Tuesday February 5th. Your FREE registration includes access to all the live calls as well as thereplay links and 12 free transformational gifts from my guests. (No products or audios to purchase – just pure wisdom and inspiration) I’ve always been inspired by women’s stories of hope, faith and transformation and throughout my own personal struggles it was those stories that gave me hope and inspiration to hold on to my dreams. It is with that intent that I’ve invited these inspiring women to join me for this powerful free series and hope you will join us. Living a Life of Passion and Purpose is possible! It begins here>>//bit.ly/positiveshift Join us beginning February 5th for the Positive Mental Shift series where you will discover how you can
And much, much more. It’s time to awaken the Alpha Chick within and your journey begins here Register today for FREE ACCESS to all 12 Live calls (and Replays) as well as the 12 free transformational gifts. After registering be sure to watch for your “confirmation email’ so I can send you the access info and replay links. I look forward to “seeing” you there! P.S.S. Forward this email invitation to the women in your life! Let’s create a world where ALL women are living a life of passion and purpose. |
at vision that I invite you to join me and 12 inspiring women for the free six week 
Happy You Year!
Happy You Year!
That’s right. 2013 is all about YOU. Your success and your dreams coming true.
I am so grateful and excited to welcome a brand new year. A chance for new opportunities and desires to be fulfilled. We want to play big and bold and make changes. We want to feel alive and content and excited.
So how are we going to do it?
First we have to sweep 2012 out the door! She won’t go quietly if we don’t give her a fond farewell. Take out a notebook and write down the lessons learned and let them go. For example, you got yourself into debt but you recognized it, and have now learned want vs. need. Acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes, this is mine, I am grateful I learned this lesson and it will serve me as I move forward. Close the notebook.
Meditate daily. On your goodness. Get comfy, pull your blanket around you and close your eyes. Think about yourself. How awesome you are. Your gifts, the things you’ve overcome. How you will not allow anyone to mistreat you or minimize you, no matter what you have to do. Our first ever 2013 intention should be to love ourselves. And from that everything will bloom. Our relationships. Our businesses. Our health. Add on goals and desires to this only after you have made it a habit.
YOU + HIGH SELF-WORTH – NEGATIVE PEOPLE AND BELIEFS = POWER
Next step, vision board time. Get yourself a piece of poster board and some magazines to cut out images and words that represent your desires or just draw what you want with markers. Be sure to write down the thing that you think people would laugh at you for attempting. The thing you really want but tell yourself it’s impossible. Yeah, that one. Keep your vision board out where you can see it. When a goal is manifested, give it a sticker or a check mark to say thank you to the Universe.
Visualize. If you want to publish a book, picture what the cover will look like and how it feels in your hands. Want to win a Grammy? Pick out your outfit you’ll wear to the awards show. Replay the scene every day.
Work. Check out designers on 99designs.com and get going on your book cover. Commit to 20 minutes of writing a day. Take steps each day toward your goal.
Act as if. If your book were published, how would you feel? You would probably be more prone to smiling and positive thinking. So act that way now.
Invest In Yourself. Commit to buying one book or attending a coaching class. Everything comes from the way you see yourself and your self-worth and value.
Little things. These small changes remind us that we’re on our path.
- Change your screensaver to something motivating and/or peaceful.
- Choose a theme song that is your own private victory anthem. Play it when you feel defeated (there will be tears and setbacks this year) or to celebrate a small or big win. I love Alicia Keys Brand New Me. “I’ll never be perfect, but at least now I’m brave.” //www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOSv1TIa58M
- Pick 3 days randomly in your calendar this year that you will get yourself a latte, buy flowers or a candle or get a massage. Put it in your phone and set the reminder.
- Give someone a free pass. Choose an annoying habit of someone close to you, your husband, your mother, a co-worker and give them a free pass. Crazy, right? Give it a try as a part of your spiritual practice to be a calm, centered person. Building this muscle will both strengthen your spirit of patience, AND you’ll be prepaying for a free pass for yourself. I know, this one is a killer.
- Help someone else. This year, we will no longer allow violence against women in any form. Go to //www.vday.org/home and participate in One Billion Rising on Feb. 14, 2013 or donate to watchherthrive.com. WE have to stand up for ourselves, not someone else. Add to your morning meditation a prayer for all violence against women to end and recovery for survivors. Contributing to something larger than yourself yields unmerited gifts and rewards. And if you can’t figure out your passion, think of what you have to give, and you might find your talent there.
Fare thee well 2012. I’m blowing you a kiss with my new lipstick. It’s a new year, full of new opportunities and promise.
So with a handful of glitter in the air, Welcome 2013! I have a good feeling about you…
Live Faithfully,
Mal
Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over thirty Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.
Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.
Trying To Recover From Newtown, CT
It is Christmas, a time of year when lights are twinkling, music is playing and people are celebrating all over the world. This Christmas is going to be different for many whose lives have been touched by the tragedy in Connecticut. The twenty six families involved will probably never experience Christmas the same way they once did. All of us will be thinking about these children and their heroic teachers who sacrificed their lives to save their students. I am still tearing up daily from different news clips releasing more of the details.
You ask how does something like this happen? What possessed a young twenty year old man to want to massacre twenty small innocent children in a school. There are no clear answers. Obviously he was very troubled. Sadly, there have been other similar senseless killings this year involving troubled young men. How do we work together to eliminate future disasters? A partial solution is spreading more love and compassion to those we personally interact with. Instead of coming from a place of judgment, what if you offer acceptance and unconditional love. A cooperative spirit supports the growth of us and our loved ones.
Collectively as human beings we have the ability to raise the consciousness of mankind and the connection to core and social values. The internet has brought on a decline in our thinking and our values. We now have more exposure to violence and bad behavior. We are responsible for the exposure our children receive from the various sources they engage with.
This is a time of year for Peace on Earth so why not start to take steps today to monitor what your family is exposed to.
- Stop buying violent video games that show children total lack of regard for human life. If no one buys them they will stop making them.
- Put restrictions on the content they are allowed to watch on TV.
- Monitor what websites they are going to and their Facebook posts.
- If you sense you have a child that is struggling socially to fit in, pay attention.
- Change starts with us and ripples out into the world, not the other way around.
My Christmas wish for you and your family is to live in peace, not in fear. I am praying that you all will be willing to become catalysts for creating a more loving and peaceful world. Remember you grow from your challenges. There is a seed of wisdom in every single one of them and they teach you lessons. Reflect on the past experiences of this year and what they can teach you to make the world a better place for your family.
Holiday Blessings,
Mal
Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over thirty Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.
Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.
FOUND: Crown Jewel
Portia de Rossi writes in her memoir on food addiction, Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain, “True nobility isn’t about you being better than someone else; it is about being better than you used to be.”
Being in recovery means exactly this. Taking a tiny step each day toward healing, focusing on yourself. And part of that means developing gratitude. Why is this so essential? What does it do for us?
Many of us grew up without someone telling us we were appreciated or loved. We didn’t witness gratitude or appreciation in our homes. Even more confusing was that sometimes we were neglected or abused and then told, “You should be grateful I had you!” Or when sitting at a dinner table we would be teased about our weight and if we cried we were told to be grateful for our food. This actually sends us a message that we should be grateful for abuse! Grateful for insults, hitting and an atmosphere of fear.
A pattern is established where we internalize that we are worth nothing and that therefore, anything we do, or accomplish or acquire is second rate. We look to outside things (food, men, status) to undo the damage but those things cannot give us what we are looking for. Or, conversely, we get a big head and become self-important, thinking we are better than others. That our worth is contingent upon our weight or the guy we date. The media then boxes us in with airbrushed, unrealistic images. And we suffer.
For some, this could mean locking themselves in a bathroom with a box full of chocolates. For Portia de Rossi, it meant an absolutely torturous diet and exercise regimen, wasting away to 82 pounds, finally collapsing on the set of a movie where she was playing her first leading role.
When we first practice being grateful for small things such as nature, a hot cup of tea or a recovery blog that understands us, we are opening a door to being grateful for ourselves, just the way we are. And the judgments and abuse we were using as a measuring stick start to fall outside of our new boundaries. We chase peace of mind, not big accomplishments or quick fixes. We no longer have to earn love or approval. This is scary; it feels like we are being lazy or settling. But it is the opposite. We are coming into who we truly are, who we always wanted to be. Opportunities will seem to appear out of nowhere if we stay on the path.
We can begin to ADD in things we are grateful for and TAKE OUT those things that make us feel negative, downtrodden and not good enough. We can ADD in a smoothie to our day or a vitamin or a yoga pose and TAKE OUT speaking unkindly to ourselves and self-sabotage. We can help someone else.
One useful tool is to just touch 2 fingers to the side of your head and say, “Nope, I reject that thought.” Many of us did not learn to reassure ourselves, where we could accept weight loss or gain with an easy come easy go attitude.
You don’t need to be fixed. You are absolutely perfect just the way you are. And you have everything you need to succeed inside of you right now. God loves us all unconditionally. Ask Him to help you. He knows what you should be, what you should weigh and how you should look.
Things are changing in the world. Women are changing the definition of power. We want to be wise, benevolent queens. Women are graduating from college in record numbers. We start small businesses. We are taking top jobs like Marissa Mayer at Yahoo. And we are turning to blogs to find women we admire, not airbrushed images. We have goals besides being the best. Our compassion will be honored and not seen as weakness.
The Dalai Lama said that the world will be saved by the Western Woman. And every one of us, with our pain and our struggles and our unique talents, is needed for this to happen. You are perfect as you are. Noble and indispensable.
Live Faithfully,
Mal
PS. If you like the message then sign up for my newsletter.
Live Faithfully,
Mal Duane
Mal Duane
Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over thirty Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.
Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.
Alcohol
The word looks innocent enough by itself, doesn’t it? Sort of clean and clinical. Just seven letters…But man, it can really kick our butts!
Up there it looks more like an ingredient for a 7th grade lab experiment than a noisy, embarrassing plastic bag full of clanking bottles needing to be taken out to the trash.
False advertising, huh?
How about all the commercials that show people laughing and having a great time out drinking with their friends. They don’t show you the car accidents or all the crying that goes on behind the scenes.
Or how about a Chardonnay called Lonely Cab Ride Home at 2:00AM? (marketed as an expensive brand that you charge for “friends”!!)
Aren’t you grateful that you don’t have to go through that anymore?
That you can see the truth about where alcohol would take you?
Alcoholics are hurt people. We don’t start out with positive messages about ourselves. So nothing we do can be good enough. We were told (directly or indirectly) that we didn’t matter, that we didn’t have talents or a bright future. We feel confused and unprepared. On top of that, emotions were not usually discussed – let alone explained. A lot of us come from places of abuse and blame.
So we grow up and we think my job isn’t good enough. My car isn’t nice enough. I have a dinky apartment and my friend just bought a house. Around and around this voice scolds us, mocks us and really, torments us 24 hours a day. We become negative and fearful and everyone around us feels bad too. Sometimes we tell ourselves, you are just ugly and stupid.
Sound familiar?
Hey, I know a solution for that. A ready made cocktail in a pink bottle called Independent Girl. Only 80 calories!
Nope. Not falling for that anymore. I look at the label and see Hopeless Girl. I’m grateful that I can go to my library of books and read something to help me move forward. That I can be alone and not feel lonely. That I don’t have to be the life of the party.
When I feel hurt, I don’t like the feeling but I allow myself to feel it. I used to numb the feelings out or choose one of two flavors: Anger or Sadness. I couldn’t control the intensity either. They were always turned up to high. Now I am grateful I get to choose from a variety of feelings. Joy, Fear, Disappointment and sometimes another seven-letter word. Elation.
Because I know that I am worthy of love and praise and attention as much as anyone else. Deep down, even on hard days, I know God sees my heart’s desire and is working on it. I know I have something to offer and I just need to keep taking tiny steps.
I don’t have to spend money or get a man or feed my feelings with food. (I’ll be writing more on these topics in the coming posts so check your inbox for my newsletter next Tuesday for Part 2 of this series.)
I am grateful that I stop myself when these bad habits kick in. I can set boundaries with people and stop being abused. If I make a mistake, I can start again and congratulate myself for being aware. I can ask God for help. I can turn inward for answers and not look for outside fixes.
What about you? What positive changes have you seen in your life since you gave up drinking?
What are you grateful for?
Live Faithfully,
Mal Duane
Mal Duane
Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over thirty Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.
Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.
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