Mal Duane Coach

Girls in Recovery

My Journey by Tracy Jo from Serenity House

I really need this burden lifted

Through these ashes I‘ve already sifted

Every bridge already burnt,

So many others still really concerned

Much needed relief is seen near to grasp

Trying to move forward letting go of my past

To be comforted is greatly needed

A reality hits me knowing my journey was damn near completed.

Breaking old habits is nothing more than complicated

Good behaviors from bad are still being separated

My confidence is growing with evidence slightly showing

Needed still a lot more work, even now styling a smirk

A break shines through with still more to do

My happiness begins clear and just for a moment

My sadness will disappear

Holding the truth for this life long battle

Expecting the fact I just begun to climb back

Even getting help I began to realize

The person you see is no longer in disguise.

Today my life I completely take back

Getting it together, I hope to keep it on track.

Life Recovery Formula: Awareness + Acceptance = Serenity

“Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.”                        -William James

Human-Acceptance-It’s not life’s experiences that are causing your pain and suffering, it is your resistance to them. The harder you push, the greater the discomfort. You set yourself up for disappointment by having unrealistic expectations. You get so stuck in your own ideas and notions on how something should be.

Many of the expectations you form are based on past experience and not on your current reality. You may have been hurt in the past which left deep emotional scars on your heart.  However, that does not mean that everything that happens from that point will have the same impact or turnout. You desperately try to manipulate the situation and rather than let it unfold, you try to control the outcome to no avail.

The mini me voice in your head is constantly advising you, and most times commanding you, to do things a certain way. You have heard enough “shoulds” to last a lifetime. How do you stop this mini war between you and the egotistical you that instructs, tries to control and pushes back? You need to stop “shoulding” on yourself now! Open your mind and heart to the flow of life instead of trying to swim against the current.

Acceptance will release you from the painful resistance and start to connect you with your current reality in a comforting way. If you look at things through the eyes of acceptance, you will recognize that old fears and perceptions were controlling your decisions and connection to those around you. Accept people the way they are, don’t try to fit them into a preconceived mold that you think is acceptable. You will notice that your connections will deepen and you will naturally feel closer to people.

Learn to relax, utilize a spiritual practice to help you connect with your inner truth. As you relax, the resistance dissolves and your life becomes measurably more enjoyable. Once we recognize our resistance and release it, we actually have more input in the desirable outcome of events that are important to us. Learning this skill is crucial to our success. It is the starting point for learning to be calm and negotiate, stops us from sabotaging new and rewarding relationships and setting boundaries instead of withdrawing and/or internalizing anger and powerlessness.

Three steps to get into the flow.

1. Become aware of your feelings/fears about the situation you are dealing with.

2. Are you reacting to the current situation or are your feelings surfacing from a past event?

3. Acknowledge the current situation and stay fully present in the moment. What can you be grateful for right now?

Life can be so much easier than you make it, if you become aware of your feelings and discern if they are justified.

 

Live Faithfully,
Mal

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Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, CBS Radio, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over one hundred Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

Life Recovery Formula: Discovering the Diva within!

woman-hugging-herselfTo truly develop self-worth, one must look within for the divine magnificence you were born with. We are all created with this essence but it can be obscured by the words and perceptions of others. You think the right dress, or the right hairdo might make you more appealing. But ladies, true beauty comes from within.

The beauty, I am speaking of is a radiance, a light that shows up in your eyes. It is a sparkle that you emanate when you walk in to a room. That kind of beauty, you can’t buy but you can develop and restore it within yourself.

Life happens and your shining light can become dull. Your self-worth keeps getting nicked away, little by little. We develop limiting beliefs based on the opinions of others. Well,  I am here to tell what someone else thinks of you is none of your business. What is of the utmost importance is what you think! When someone says something to you, it is not really about you at all. It is their baggage, it’s their stuff.

The lesson here is not to take someone’s opinion or comments as the truth.  They maybe are speaking from a place of personal fear or weakness.  Their motives maybe self-serving.

Once you tap into that divine magnificence at the core of your heart and soul, it’s pretty hard to dim the light. You were born to shine. To live with joy and to be happy.

Action steps you can take to tap into the divine diva within:

  1. Do affirmations morning and night.
  2. Add three new ones daily to your list. I have given you some samples. Write in the present tense.
    1. I am happy to be me.
    2. I deserve everything I want in life
    3. I accept myself just the way I am
    4. When you look in the mirror in the morning, give yourself a big hug and confirm that you are loved!

Please comment or send some of your affirmations.

Sending Faith, light and love your way!

Live Faithfully,
Mal

If you like our content sign up here for updates and a free gift!

 

Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, CBS Radio, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over one hundred Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

The Life Recovery Formula™

Picture1Self-care + Self-worth + Happiness = Recovery

When life presents us with excruciating challenges, who do we take care of last?

I am honored to be teaching a class for an amazing group of women in a recovery facility. Over and over, the topic of abusing ourselves comes up. These women recognize that they put themselves last and take care of others first. Even people that have harmed them or been unkind come before they do?

Sadly, this is a common situation with women in general. We habitually put ourselves last. My thoughts are if American airlines is telling you to put your mask on first if the plane is going down, is a pretty strong statement about taking care of yourself before helping others. If we don’t, we run out of oxygen. Get the picture!

The practice of self-care over a period of time creates a stronger, self-loving confident woman that becomes a better contributor in everything she does. Her relationships, her employment and physical demeanor all become measurably improved.

Here are some tips on how to put you first.

  1. Take one hour in the morning for meditation/spiritual practice. If you need to get up an hour earlier than everyone else.
  2. Schedule a treat for yourself weekly. Maybe a mani/pedi or a message. How about a new book?

I just finished reading Debbie Ford’s “Courage”. Great information about pushing through life’s challenges.

  1. Take a walk in the middle or the end of the day, get some exercise and fresh air. It is a great place to think through important decisions.
  2. A new perfume, lipstick, or makeup can be a real refresher when we need it.
  3. Maybe watch an old romance movie on TV? Curl up with a cup of lavender or green tea.
  4. Create a vision board with pictures of things you would like to attract into your life. This is a very powerful practice. (Worked on my getting my home and my dog)
  5. Get a personal Life/Recovery coach for a session on how to create the life you deserve.

I would love to know about some of your favorite things that you do to nurture yourself. Feel free to comment here.

Remember, grab your mask first. It will all the difference to the ones you love.

Live Faithfully,
Mal

If you like our content sign up here for updates and a free gift!

 

Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, CBS Radio, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over one hundred Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

It’s Time To Break Out Of That Shell

Break out of your shellSpring is here. It is a time of rebirth, rejuvenation and transformation. The snow is almost gone and there are green tips in the garden waiting for the warmth of the sun. What can you do to break away from old patterns and start a fresh beginning this spring?

When we have the courage to step up and the desire to play a bigger game, the world can become a very different looking place. No need to hide behind the false images from yesterday that may feel comfortable. Break out and get uncomfortable while you feel the true potential that awaits you. Personal growth requires that we may feel un-easy. The fact is to move forward and transform your life is not easy. It takes intention, commitment and a level of personal discipline you may not have employed before.

So what can you do to crack that old shell and start creating the life you deserve?

  1. Make a list of the things that are holding you back from your dreams.
  2. Which ones are real? Many of our hurdles exist only in our own minds.
  3. Identify the action steps necessary to realize your dreams.
  4. Start implementing one step at a time. Have an accountable timetable to do so. This means a deadline. TIP: Best way to do this is to schedule dates into your phone or on a calendar. Your subconscious now knows that to be in integrity with yourself and others – you HAVE to meet that deadline.
  5. Start to feel the energy in your body as if your dreams have happened. BELIEVE they are coming. Connect to that feeling daily. Feel the gratitude for everything that is coming your way.

The biggest problem we have when we start trying to create something in our lives is that we don’t feel we deserve it or we don’t believe it will happen. Well, dump those thoughts and replace them with positive affirming thoughts.

Your life will be a reflection of your thoughts. Now that you have stepped out of that shell, it’s time to be the Alpha Chick you were meant to be.

Live Faithfully,
Mal

If you like our content sign up here for updates and a free gift!

Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over thirty Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.