The Holiday Season is in full swing!  That can be a really good thing or totally shitty depending on where you are.  Some of us are alone (single, divorced, widowed) during this time year but it doesn’t need to be a bad thing. I have spent the last three holiday seasons on my own and have used the time to do some deep thinking and writing about my life moving forward.

I had a wonderful dinner with my girlfriends last year, a week before Christmas and I am doing a repeat this year. I ‘ve  got my tree up and the house decorated. I love all the lights and putting out my Christmas Santa’s. Plus, it feels so good to treat these sweet souls to a really special dinner. I love them all dearly.

Sadly, there are other women I know whose lives have changed unexpectedly the past few years like mine did but they are frozen in time, stuck in their pain. Why am I able to move on with my life and they feel like their life is over? I have spent a great deal of time and research the last few months and I know the answers. In fact, this material is the foundation for the new book I am working on. I feel it’s that important.

The most painful experience can be your greatest teacher. I have learned more about myself in the past 24 months than I did in the previous 68 years. Here are some of the greatest gifts I’ve received that I hope you can take into your own life.  

1. Forgiveness has changed me completely. I was able to untie the chord that kept me stuck in the pain of betrayal and free myself so I could build a stronger relationship with my stepchildren and grandchildren. They are more important to me than anything that had happened in the total collapse of my marriage. I feel so empowered by not being attached to what happened that had hurt me so deeply.
2. I am more resilient now than I ever could have imagined. I have complete confidence in managing my life and my home. I understand what it takes to get back up and to get going again.
3. I have a greater capacity for unconditional love. This has opened me up in so many ways. I no longer have all the attachments to “things” or how they should be.
4. Here’s the biggy!  All women are capable of doing these things. You are no different than I am. I just figured out how to do it.  We do not need to stay broken open from heartbreak and loss. We can heal ourselves! In fact, no one else really can do that for us. It’s our job.
5. I have stopped pushing myself to do things that don’t feel authentic to me. I have struggled for the past few months with sending emails to all of you weekly. Maybe you noticed, I haven’t sent any for a month or so. I realize that I want to try to communicate in various ways. Maybe recorded video or Facebook Live or group calls on Zoom. More face to face.  For me, it’s more intimate than another email.  I only want to send an email when I have something to share with you that is of value to you.

I wish you every happiness this Christmas and the coming New Year!   I am so excited about 2018. I feel like a butterfly coming out of a cocoon and I’m ready – so ready to fly!