Courage – Page 2

Courage – My Favorite Word to Describe What I Do!

I was having a conversation with Sonja, my TEDx buddy about key words to describe what we do in our work with clients. Her word was connection. She teaches her clients communications. At first I thought my word was inspire but then it hit me, it’s COURAGE.

I think of myself as a midlife transition coach who helps women get back up when life has unexpectedly knocked you down.

I now recognize that courage has served me well. I have used it to get back up many times when life has hit me with a huge challenge. Getting honest about my alcohol addiction years ago took courage. Surviving the death of my precious niece took courage. Getting up again after my divorce took more courage! My public speaking takes courage. I am always scared when I first start. I still remember kids laughing at me when I was small, making fun of me when I spoke up.

Courage is something we all have, it just needs to be nurtured. It is also a split second decision.

How do you muster up your courage?

Understand that fear is something you create with your thoughts.

Taking one small step at a time. Allow yourself to feel your fear, breathe deeply into it and count to five. Sit with it and let it settle. When fear first hits you, it can feel like your body is in a huge vice being squeezed. After a few minutes the sensation settles down and your mind quiets down. If you try to take action while consumed with fear, you usually make very emotional decisions. If you let the feeling of fear soften slightly, you will make more courageous choices.

I have watched people in scary situations run right into more trouble because they were consumed with fear and didn’t allow themselves to feel the fear before reacting.

Sometimes fear can be mistaken for excitement. The sensations feel identical in the body.

Courage can feel like excitement as well.

Courage is just overcoming your feelings of fear. I am sure you have heard “feel the fear and do it anyway”.

There is probably nothing you can’t deal with if you just give yourself a few moments to center yourself, acknowledge your fearful thoughts and then step right into your courage.

Real Women Share How to Have It All

I recently met a super cool new friend who thinks just like me and I want you to meet her too.

Her name is Carolina, and she is an expert in helping women create Extraordinary Lives.

As a woman with big dreams and desires, Carolina has challenged herself to have it all: a successful career, a passionate love life, and a healthy body. She followed the steps to create a prosperous life… graduated from a top university, got a prestigious job and found a great guy.

Does that sound familiar?

For years, she worked hard in building her career & giving back to society but no matter how much she achieved she would feel like something was missing. Like many other women she would constantly worry that somehow she wasn’t doing enough, that she was falling behind in one or more areas in her life. She no longer was interested in just achieving success, she was craving to also find true joy.

So she decided to take on a research project to learn from women who have found a way of having it all, both the outer SUCCESS (career, money, health) as well as the feelings of INNER PEACE and LASTING FULFILLMENT. She believes that when as women we share our vulnerable and real stories, as well as the lessons we’ve learned along the journey, we help each other heal, fulfill our deepest desires and rise stronger.

This research project has turned into a video series, where she is interviewing more than 20 women (including me!) who have it all.

It’s called: Women Who Want It All: How to Create Outer Success, Inner Peace and Lasting Fulfillment!

I have a complimentary ticket for you to attend. You can register using this link >> //carolinazuleta.com/event/o/mald/

You’ll be able to watch from your home, office, or on the go.

Here’s what’s going to be covered in the VIDEO INTERVIEWS:

What to do to overcome self-doubt and step fiercely into building your dreams
How to lead a more open, authentic, loving, and fulfilling life
How to eliminate limiting beliefs that are keeping you from achieving success in any area
Learn to balance your good girl and wild woman to become truly empowered
Overcome any shame you have around your finances or your love life

These interviews are REAL. They’re HONEST conversations with women who have faced struggles and challenges like all of us but who have found a way to reconnect to themselves and create lives that they love. I am honored to share from my own heart the lessons I have learned.

So please join me and these amazing other women who get real and get vulnerable so you won’t make the same mistakes.

Register here with your complimentary ticket to listen in. //carolinazuleta.com/event/o/mald/

Sending you big love,

You Are Never Too Old!

I have been deeply touched by the recent movement of women coming together to speak their truth about equal rights and ending sexual and physical abuse. Sadly, the politics in our country have stirred massive fear and anger in the female population. I just wish we all had started being so proactive years ago rather than reacting to a specific ideology and commentary. I love how they expressed themselves in so many creative ways, sharing what was in their hearts with the world.

Honestly, as I age I become less concerned with what others think and I am more focused on my own evaluation. Having been a major people pleaser, forgoing my own dreams and self-worth for the approval of others has come to an end. I don’t care what other people think of me. Everything I do has the intention of love, laughter and giving in some way. If that stirs something negative in someone else, I think they need to look at their own sh*t and figure it out.

The more playful and free I am, the younger I feel. I love laughing at me. I dress up with my dog, and post funny pictures to Facebook. I live in hot pink and orange clothing because it perks me up. Somebody might think I am a little demented but I am having a blast.

Today I am going out with my pink pussy hat. This ought to stir some commentary. Who says I can’t wear one? As I said before, you are never too old. I’m going to a dance class where the women are half my age. I can kick and bend with the best of them.

How about Tom Brady, the quarterback for the New England Patriots coming back from the impossible in Super Bowl? He is 39 years old which is considered old for the position. He never stopped believing in himself or his team. He has worked hard to keep himself so physically fit. He doesn’t think he is old and he competes with the best.

A healthy mindset works for both men and women!

I love bringing positive energy and encouraging people to be and do more!

Have a rock star day!

Sending you big love,

How I Became Fearless… and You Can Too!

Are you wallowing in pain or becoming fearless?

I posted on Facebook the other day that I was feeling fearless! This feeling of complete calm and loving it didn’t happen overnight. I can honestly admit to you that I worked on developing it. I am hesitant to use the word create, I think that is too egotistical. I worked hard and did some heavy lifting to get here. I’m not any different or more special than any of you.

Actually, I am just like you. I have many of the same fears and painful challenges.

A Course in Miracles says that the opposite of fear is love. So if I was previously consumed with fear than it must mean I was lacking love. Looking back on my life I would have to agree. I was missing a lot of love, especially for myself.

Through my 28 years of recovery I believe I have really embraced self love. My self care and self worth has grown exponentially. I never expected there was room for more loss and more growth. I thought I had learned all my lessons, but the cosmic 2 x 4 hit me one more time.

My biggest challenge would become by greatest teacher and end up leaving me FEARLESS!

I now understand that unloving acts which I was not conscious of in any way were sabotaging my divine feminine life force. Betrayal and violation which I knew nothing about were now acting like growing malignancies in my energy field. Although I felt fear and felt threatened, I didn’t fully understand why. I didn’t comprehend the nature of the perpetration until I discovered it.

It is not what happened that matters but what I learned from it which can help you.

I now understand after deep personal reflection of all the things that have happened to me in my lifetime, that I am always in a better place afterwards. You are probably asking how can that be?

If these painful emotional challenges had not happened, I would have been pulled down further, suffered more personal damage and I would not been inspired to create change in my life. It took time for the crumbling ground under my feet to settle but when it did I realized I was so much more resilient than I ever thought possible.

There are three things that helped me and will help you to understand evolving into a fearless and resilient being.

1. Deep and thoughtful reflection of a past or present event, understanding and accepting that it is happening for your growth and well-being. Something is ending to it can open you up to a better experience.

2. Journaling about the experience to get expanded clarity that doesn’t come from your ego’s perception but from your heart’s. When you write, the words will come from within and not from your outer reactions.

3. Understanding your role and what you can and can’t control. Other people’s behavior towards you has nothing to do with you. What is the highest and best action for you to take in this situation.

The outcome is that you will put all the pieces together and you will see the thread of personal growth in each situation. You will understand that life’s challenges happen so that you can evolve more into the divine being you are meant to be rather than as some type of persecution.

Our lives are just a pathway of lessons in this cosmic classroom. You can choose to do your heart work (homework) and master the lessons or you can ignore them and continue to play in a minefield of demise and despair.

Faith + Courage = Freedom to Exercise our Profound Personal Power

Throughout our lives as women, we have found ourselves paralyzed by our fears: fear of failure, fear of success, rejection, loss, loneliness, pain, loss of safety, security, and affection, estrangement, separation – the list goes on. We find ourselves willing to endure our pain because we are afraid, our instinct is to protect ourselves from the risks of change.

But we can come to realize that we are not powerless, worthless individuals at the mercy of the judgment of others. Our happiness is not dependent on the actions or perceptions of anyone else. We must accept responsibility for the unhealthy conditions that surround us and restore our personal power.

Giving away our power to the whims of others weakens our spirit. Many times, pain is the beginning of awareness. And that pain may awaken our consciousness.

We are who we are because of what we have been through. We cannot forget the meaning or nature of our journey. We must use the past and what it can teach us without being controlled by it, and take possession of the cruelties in our past to free ourselves of the bondage to these past events.

We can direct our energies and recognize our personal gains. Nothing and no one can take them away from us. We can gain strength from our experiences. We learn through our pain, we accept or reject our burdens, and grow beyond our fears. We can be unafraid in a world where there is much work to do, truth to seek and love to give and enjoy. We are free to be who we want to be.

So what is FAITH? Faith is a strong and steadfast belief in a power greater than ourselves. It is devotion, loyalty, hope, resolution, trust, acceptance, and confidence. Faith is belief without proof, leaping before you are positive you will make it to the other side, making a decision before you have ALL the facts or have solved ALL the problems, committing before you are CERTAIN. We can decide that we have faith in our ability to grow and change.

What is COURAGE? Courage is taking just one baby step, and then we will find that every time we take a risk, we strengthen our willingness to take another. Conscious risk taking can be very empowering which leads to greater self-esteem. Baby steps become leaps. So take a leap! What do we really have to lose? What do we have to gain?

And what is FREEDOM? Freedom is the ability to make a CHOICE! Freedom means we are not subject to the control or domination of another; we are not bound, confined or detained by force from other people’s perceptions

Here are 4 tips for your journey:

Tap into faith, courage, and the strength of your inner spirit.
Strive for the state of being nearly fearless.
Don’t be afraid to be yourself, be authentic.
Participate in life, don’t just let it happen.

The bottom line is: Risk It!!!

“To laugh is to risk appearing the fool. To weep is to risk appearing sentimental. To reach for another is to risk involvement. To expose your feelings is to risk exposing your true self. To place your ideas, your dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss. To love is to risk not being loved in return. To live is to risk dying. To believe is to risk despair. To try is to risk failure. But risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing, is nothing. They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live. Chained by their attitudes they are slaves; they have forfeited their freedom. Only a person who risks is free.”

– William A. Ward

If you would like to learn more about the Life Recovery Process and creating what you desire, check out my web page about the symptoms of not living with passion and purpose by clicking here.

I am passionate about helping women to recover their lives and to clearly identify the behaviors that are keeping them chained to the past. Life Recovery Coaching is a process for helping all women become the best expression of their divine selves.

Live Faithfully,
Mal

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Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, CBS Radio, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over one hundred Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.