Identity

Get In Touch With Who You Are!

I made a post on Facebook the other day which has inspired that I write this post. I had the most amazing revelation while lying in bed that I am in this totally awesome relationship with myself. It may sound weird but let me explain. This year I have traveled the globe, taken courses, seen movies, tried new restaurants, exercise classes and more…all by myself. And loved every minute of it.

I don’t need to ask for permission or arrange my schedule according to someone else’s. Total blissful freedom to do as I please. I get to keep my favorite books on the bed, get up when I want and wear my comfy jammies at the breakfast table.

Truth be told, I’m having a blast not needing a man in my life. I’m actually thinking of starting a video series called the Single Girl Chronicles to show single women how to have fun!

I have to share this quote with you from Eternal Echoes by John O’Donohue:

Even without the outside lover, you can become the beloved. When you awaken in appreciation and love for yourself, springtime awakens in your heart.

There are so many women who don’t have men in their lives and they feel stuck, lost and alone.

I’ve honestly felt that at times in my own life – but not anymore. I am discovering that you can do lots of wonderful things being single. You don’t need a man to have FUN! It all comes back to what I talk so much about. How you feel about yourself. If you don’t like yourself, you’re not going to be happy alone. Building that confidence of being alone opens you to so many options. Learning new things, taking classes and travel are just a few of my favorites.

For those girls in a relationship, develop some interests separate from your man. A little independence is good for the soul-for the both of you!

More women are uncovering that their own company is a whole lot more fun than crappy company with someone who doesn’t inspire them!

Whether you’re single or happily taken, comment below and tell me about something you can do for YOURSELF (new or old) to HAVE FUN and get in touch with who you are!

Lessons I Learned in India While on a Spiritual Retreat

I had so many powerful realizations while traveling India on a spiritual retreat.

The big one which encompasses all the small ones is how resilient I have become.

A small lesson I learned while there was to master peeing while standing up. This may not sound like a big deal for you but with the length of my legs, not an easy task. My first reaction was “oh crap I can’t do this”. Well after a few hours of walking around in 90 degree humid heat with a full bladder, it was time to pee standing up or keel over.

The second small lesson was the reaction I got from the local people because I was very different looking to the Indian people. They all wanted to take selfies with me because I am tall and blonde. I kind of felt like I was a celebrity. Made me appreciate our individual uniqueness.

My big lesson was about resilience, the ability of getting back up after being knocked down really set in. I felt such appreciation for where I am now and how much I love my life today. God knows, I have walked through the fires of hell.

Several of the women I was traveling with shared how they had huge traumatic events in their lives which inspired their spiritual quest. I have to admit that the hot mess of my own life has done the same. Each time something earth shattering happens to me, I dig deeper in my spiritual practice for the answers. I am really learning just how powerful women can be.

You can grow emotionally and spiritually far beyond a traumatic event and recapture your life.

Even though adverse life events such as serious illness, accident or injury, abuse, bereavement or relationship breakdown can be a trigger for depression, anxiety or post-traumatic stress, people ARE capable of finding transformation through trauma. I know because I have done it several times.

And here’s where the good news gets even better: my friend Jennifer Cunningham is a trauma survivor who got through cancer feeling like her identity had become all about that experience. She decided to be true to herself, take on new challenges and view life from a wider perspective and so she brought together 24 experts, including me, to share our strategies to shift from trauma to enlightenment.

I’d love for you to join us for the Post-Traumatic Enlightenment Summit.
Reserve your free spot HERE.

And if a recent traumatic divorce or breakup has derailed your life or stripped you of your power, I am here to help you take back your power. Set up a Strategy Session with me HERE.

Big Love,
XOXOX

Mal

I Was a Cougar THREE Times Last Week!

I am not saying I did anything that would land my ass in jail. But I did have so much fun- even if it was mostly in my own mind.

I can’t deny it puts a smile on my face to see a younger man admiring me. Truthfully ladies-you know you love it too!

My bank visit was unusually entertaining this past week. My regular young teller was super happy to see me. Not sure if it was the motherly relationship advice I give him or my new leggings with skulls which looked particularly good since going sugar free. We had five minutes of really flirty banter when I decided it was time to leave. All I could think of walking to my car was that his mother would kill me. That chilling thought brought me right back to reality.

Two days later I went to a new networking event for my public speaking, which was all about social media.

The founder is an import from across the pond (London) who is a very charismatic, social media genius and adorable to boot. Looking right into my eyes, he starts giving me brilliant tips to increase my engagement online. I’m not sure I heard it all because I was thinking if I were only 25 years younger-holy moly sparks would fly.

I was like a school girl listening to him. It was so much fun. I was giggling to myself as I walked away not realizing I was leaving my eyeglasses behind. I guess I just have to go back to the next meeting to get my glasses. More to come.

I wrapped up the week going to a Halloween party-no costume-no problem. I ‘ll just go as a “cougar”. I had a T-Shirt printed in a couple of hours.

It was so cute with a very short skirt and little suede boots. The Game of Thrones was the big costume theme for the evening. But I must admit I was having so much fun in my little cougar t-shirt. I admit I may have been the oldest person there but you would never know it. I can dance up a storm! I have even included a pic for you. I have my Invisalign braces in so my smile looks a little weird. Was undecided whether to show them or not.

The whole point of this little discussion is-don’t give up! Doesn’t matter if you are single, married, divorced or widowed. You are never too old to have fun. Fantasize, imagine what it would be like! Put a smile on your own face, it’s great for getting rid of the wrinkles.

I think young, act young and feel young which ultimately keeps me very healthy and looking younger than I am.

Ladies, I am on a mission to help you live life to the fullest! You need to know it all starts within you! You are responsible for your own happiness. When you are a vibration of happiness-you’re a magnet for attracting more of it.

Today’s tip-go out and flirt, laugh-have a good time. Don’t take anything too seriously!

Courage – My Favorite Word to Describe What I Do!

I was having a conversation with Sonja, my TEDx buddy about key words to describe what we do in our work with clients. Her word was connection. She teaches her clients communications. At first I thought my word was inspire but then it hit me, it’s COURAGE.

I think of myself as a midlife transition coach who helps women get back up when life has unexpectedly knocked you down.

I now recognize that courage has served me well. I have used it to get back up many times when life has hit me with a huge challenge. Getting honest about my alcohol addiction years ago took courage. Surviving the death of my precious niece took courage. Getting up again after my divorce took more courage! My public speaking takes courage. I am always scared when I first start. I still remember kids laughing at me when I was small, making fun of me when I spoke up.

Courage is something we all have, it just needs to be nurtured. It is also a split second decision.

How do you muster up your courage?

Understand that fear is something you create with your thoughts.

Taking one small step at a time. Allow yourself to feel your fear, breathe deeply into it and count to five. Sit with it and let it settle. When fear first hits you, it can feel like your body is in a huge vice being squeezed. After a few minutes the sensation settles down and your mind quiets down. If you try to take action while consumed with fear, you usually make very emotional decisions. If you let the feeling of fear soften slightly, you will make more courageous choices.

I have watched people in scary situations run right into more trouble because they were consumed with fear and didn’t allow themselves to feel the fear before reacting.

Sometimes fear can be mistaken for excitement. The sensations feel identical in the body.

Courage can feel like excitement as well.

Courage is just overcoming your feelings of fear. I am sure you have heard “feel the fear and do it anyway”.

There is probably nothing you can’t deal with if you just give yourself a few moments to center yourself, acknowledge your fearful thoughts and then step right into your courage.

Truth Be Told

I need to come clean and tell you the truth about something. The past three months I have emailed you almost weekly about interviews I did on various tele-summits. Well enough is enough.

It’s time for me to connect with you and stop hiding behind the free stuff.

The truth is that all these projects over the winter months helped me find my voice, reclaim my power and recalibrate my focus. I needed to prove to myself that I was back from my sorrow, maybe even better than before. The only way I could do that was to test myself repeatedly. I talked about painful stuff without breaking down.

Maybe some of you liked the interviews/shows or maybe not. I just want you to know I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful of your email. Thank you for hanging in there with me. I think some of the shows I did were great interviews because I spoke from my heart, hoping to help others heal and create new love in their lives.

I am very excited about creating my new Podcast because I get to handpick each person I want to interview. I love powerful stories of personal challenge and growth. I will continue to update you on new shows.

Over the next several months my intent is to share with you from the depths of my heart what I have learned about resilience, advocating for yourself and getting back into your light after being knocked down.

Most of you know I experienced a massive betrayal in my marriage and then a divorce over the past three years. It all came at me at a time I thought I knew it all. How wrong was my perception? I am back, stronger and feeling so good about me moving forward. It took a lot of work which is still ongoing but I am really good.

My pledge going forward is I am opening myself to you completely. I’m going to get emotionally naked. I have nothing to hide. Owning my own truth is the most exhilarating feeling and it puts me firmly in my power.

My mentor, Hiro said something powerful to me the other day. “Maybe learning from a place of pain is over rated and we should start learning from joy”.

I have always believed my greatest teachers have been my most painful challenges. But I’m changing that mindset to my greatest wins. Because that is what they were. Every challenge pushed me to a higher level of self-awareness, self-love and compassion for others.

If you are splashing in murky waters, you know how to find me. Go to my website, www.malduanecoach.com.

After being with Tony Robbins in CA the last week of March, coming home and getting sick, I realized it was probably a massive detox of letting go of the old and welcoming in the new. After three weeks of total rest and self-care, I’m ready to bring it on!

In the next few weeks I am going to announce some new things I would like to do for all of you and get your opinion on them. A new Facebook group dedicated to “Loving Smart” with a weekly conference call. We all can experience more love when we get out of our own way. I will be sharing how to create more love in your life after your heart has been shattered. I think we have all been there.

My next Podcast on Awakening Divine Wildness is May 1^st with the amazing Michelle Mercier the founder of “Create Honesty”.

I so appreciate you! I started this journey in February 2012. It has been five years now and many of you have been getting my emails for almost that long. I guess we have gone through some serious shit together.

Sending you big love,