Inspiration – Page 4

Forgive and Forget

Twenty five years ago today, I had my last “taste” of alcohol. I hit what is commonly referred to as a “high bottom”. I was a high performing woman, gainfully employed but hit my emotional bottom. The empty shell of a woman that I was, cracked open so the light could touch the dark shrunken soul within me. I had been talking to God and saying that maybe I should die. His reply was “oh no dear child, you can’t leave now, you have way too much work to do”. In a flash my life changed dramatically.

Instantly my thinking went from chaos to clarity.

I no longer was consumed with the self-absorbed me, me, me but now considered the possibility of we, we, we.

I didn’t focus on just getting and started to think about giving.

I realized I was responsible for everything that happens to me and stopped blaming others.

Joy and peace started running through my veins and the struggle for perfection was gone.

I stepped away from my pain and discovered that I had the power to do anything I wanted.

So my dear sisters wherever you are, know that I love you, I understand your story and I am here to help you. I consider myself a spiritual warrior out to slay the dragon of addictive behaviors that spreads the scorching flame of destruction over us.

What better day than today, to make a list of all the old crap, old boyfriends and old stories that you want to leave behind so that you can start tomorrow free from the self-imposed (sadly to say) chains that keep you tied to the past. Rip that list up into tiny little pieces. Burn it CAREFULLY. Dance, twerk or whatever you like, regardless of who is watching. Throw your arms in the air and proclaim your freedom and forgiveness to the moon. Start a new day in a new year with a little less baggage.

If you are interested in the complete story of my journey and amazing transformation, you will find it in my book Alpha Chick: Five steps for moving from pain to power.

Let me know how you feel tomorrow.

Gratefully, your sister in recovery.

Mal

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Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, CBS Radio, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over one hundred Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

Honesty + Innovative Thinking = Self-Actualization

“No matter who you are, no matter what you did, no matter where you’ve come from, you can always change, become a better version of yourself.” –Madonna

“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.” –Ernest Hemingway

Do you know who you REALLY are? Do you know who you WANT to be? Perhaps you are tired of seeing yourself through the eyes of others whose vision may be distorting what they see when they look at you. Maybe you feel imprisoned by other people’s perceptions of you becoming your definition, your image, and the way you feel about yourself. If we live our lives attempting to live up to the expectations of others we will be constrained by a bar set too high, by unachievable standards of unrealistic perfection. We must live by our own truth.

If we try some new and exploratory thinking with open-mindedness, we may gain some indispensable confidence and courage in our ability to change. We will begin a gradual transformation of who we are and how we feel about ourselves.

Have you ever aspired to be an artist? Let’s try it. Let’s envision a newly created picture of our self. Imagine a clean, white, flawless canvas. Starting with today, as a woman in Recovery, fill in the background with all of your past experiences, relationships, your journey of life so far. This is what makes you unique; it has molded you into who you are today so it has to be your backdrop. Now gently wash over it to remove any guilt, shame, and remorse. The past is in the past and you cannot change it. There is no purpose in continuing to relive it, you are only hurting yourself. You are forgiven, and today is a new beginning. With willingness, motivation, and determination, you will create a new picture of your self emerging in sobriety. Consider the positive adjectives like: CLEAN AND SOBER, beautiful inside and out, strong, intelligent, loving, kind, patient, funny, considerate, tolerant, spiritual, devoted, understanding, creative, talented, gifted, dependable, mindful, colorful, stylish, respectful, and magnificent! As your picture becomes more clear, do you like what you see? Have you felt in the past as though the people in your life have trapped you in a rigid box and there was no way out? Did it become a self-fulfilling prophecy, a negative downward spiral? If we continuously hear negative things about ourselves, we come to believe them. “Everyone says I am a useless and hopeless drunk or drug addict, so I may as well be that because that’s what I am!!”

These changes are not going to happen overnight. But, as in every aspect of recovery, we start with baby steps. Dare to stick your toe outside the boundary of the box, just a little bit to “test the waters”, try something new and different. Remind yourself that though it might be a little uncomfortable and unnatural, it won’t be fatal. You will experience the exhilaration of successfully accomplishing something different. You will realize your power to break through your habitual behavior. And having accomplished this, you will become more comfortable with life outside of your self-imposed limits and you will venture further the next time. Before you know it, you will be taking leaps beyond where you have been stuck, for a long time, in desperation.

Live Faithfully,
Mal

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Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

Initiative = Accomplishment: Everything Starts Within Us

Why do you spend so much time blaming other people or situations for your own misfortunes? I guess it might be easier to pin the tail on another donkey!

Maybe it is time to be accountable, even if for only yourself. You have the ability to do, and to choose as you please. All your decisions are yours to make, not someone else’s.

To create things that you desire, you need to take the initiative. Action could start with thoughts, which can lead to an image, which can bring about the physical reality of what you want.

In fact, what you are doing is putting the Law of Attraction to work for you. But you have to take the initiative first. Here are a few steps to help you create what you desire:

Start with your thoughts; getting clear and then asking for what you want.
Take the action steps that are necessary to put your desire into motion. This is the initiative that most people leave out.
Start to feel and live as if your desire has shown up. This is the allowing part of the creative process. You need to believe that your desires are going to show up and allow them time and space to do so.

If you would like to learn more about the Life Recovery Process and creating what you desire, check out my web page about the symptoms of not living with passion and purpose by clicking here.

I am passionate about helping women to recover their lives and to clearly identify the behaviors that are keeping them chained to the past. Life Recovery Coaching is a process for helping all women become the best expression of their divine selves.

Live Faithfully,
Mal

If you like our content sign up here for updates and a free gift!

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

Forgiveness = Freedom

“Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.”

― John F. Kennedy

“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”

― Oscar Wilde

“Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.”

― Will Smith

What is forgiveness? Well, I’ll be clear on what it’s not. It isn’t giving someone a pass for an unjustifiable wrong done to you. In fact, the dictionary says it means to stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for an offense, flaw or mistake. Somewhere along the way our culture has painted a picture where the victim tells the perpetrator, Oh, that’s fine what you did. You don’t even have to feel bad. I forgive you. Some of us growing up in dysfunctional homes were forced to issue apologies for things we didn’t do. And that’s why we confuse the definition of what forgiveness really is-a powerful shift of focus onto ourselves and creating the lives of our dreams.

This confusion is illustrated by the synonyms suggested for the word forgive: Pardon. Remit. Excuse. Condone. Absolve.

None of those things are required for forgiveness. The only thing you want to do is to free your mind and body to live without your precious energy being focused on that person. Forgiving someone means squarely placing all the blame on that person. It also means that now your world is different and you’ve got to accept that. Now you have to take responsibility for who you allow into your world. You might have to stop talking to someone and instead of feeling like a bad person, you will feel like a victorious protector of your own life! And you can take the knowledge from that experience, even if it was having to face that there is true evil in the world, and use it to your advantage. You can use it as a shield to protect yourself in the future. You can be a support and light to others so that they can see a life beyond what terrible thing happened to them.

People say all the time, the Bible tells us to forgive. But in Luke 17:3, Jesus tells us we are to forgive someone who sins against us, IF he repents. God does not want us to be abused.

Forgiving doesn’t mean you cower to anyone or let someone repeat the behavior and use you as a doormat. It means you grow stronger, not weaker. You identify the wrongdoer as weak and pathetic, and turn your attention toward building the life they tried to prevent you from having.

Live Faithfully,
Mal

If you like our content sign up here for updates and a free gift!

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

Life Recovery Formula: Discovering the Diva within!

woman-hugging-herself To truly develop self-worth, one must look within for the divine magnificence you were born with. We are all created with this essence but it can be obscured by the words and perceptions of others. You think the right dress, or the right hairdo might make you more appealing. But ladies, true beauty comes from within.

The beauty, I am speaking of is a radiance, a light that shows up in your eyes. It is a sparkle that you emanate when you walk in to a room. That kind of beauty, you can’t buy but you can develop and restore it within yourself.

Life happens and your shining light can become dull. Your self-worth keeps getting nicked away, little by little. We develop limiting beliefs based on the opinions of others. Well, I am here to tell what someone else thinks of you is none of your business. What is of the utmost importance is what you think! When someone says something to you, it is not really about you at all. It is their baggage, it’s their stuff.

The lesson here is not to take someone’s opinion or comments as the truth. They maybe are speaking from a place of personal fear or weakness. Their motives maybe self-serving.

Once you tap into that divine magnificence at the core of your heart and soul, it’s pretty hard to dim the light. You were born to shine. To live with joy and to be happy.

Action steps you can take to tap into the divine diva within:

Do affirmations morning and night.
Add three new ones daily to your list. I have given you some samples. Write in the present tense.
1. I am happy to be me.
2. I deserve everything I want in life
3. I accept myself just the way I am
4. When you look in the mirror in the morning, give yourself a big hug and confirm that you are loved!

Please comment or send some of your affirmations.

Sending Faith, light and love your way!

Live Faithfully,
Mal

If you like our content sign up here for updates and a free gift!

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.