Personal Power

How to Manifest What you Want

You might think that taking care of everyone else’s needs first is going to win you a merit badge. Well truth be told, no one is going to hand you an award, but they will continue to take advantage. Not that they are being A-holes, they’re just used to you to sacrificing yourself on their behalf. Do you think it might be time to change?

Why do women put themselves last?

I know part of it comes from conditioning as a child. Don’t take too much, leave some for others. Wait your turn. Then it snowballs from there. By the time we are grown women in relationships, we accept the breadcrumbs thrown our way. Well my sweet, I think you deserve the whole freaking bakery.

It’s time to stop depriving yourself of what you want, what makes you happy and the things that will really float your boat.

You need to start treating you like #1 and the rest of the planet will get a wakeup call.

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I will repeat this until I am blue in the face: you are worthy, you are actually a divine being made of the same stuff as the stars and the ocean.

You are a part of source energy.

So, start treating yourself like you have value.

Whether you’re married, spoken for or flying solo, you need me-time. Time where you do yummy things just for you. Maybe it’s a dance class, an art class, a meet up or spa visit. You need to treat yourself to things that fire you up.

Here’s your homework: Have fun with this!

Make a list of the top ten things you wish you could have or do.

Take pictures and then more pictures of them from magazines, brochures etc. with your phone.

Create a new folder for all of them, call it Dreams or Vision board.

Start looking at those pictures every day and ideas will start to come to you on what you need to do to make it happen.

I have shared my folder for 2018. I went to India, traveled to California two times, took some amazing classes, went on a few shopping sprees and bought myself some really nice things. I wote a new book and took really good care of myself.

Nothing is out of your reach. You can have anything you want if you allow yourself to.

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I have got some great wish pics in 2019 my folder. I made a New York Time Best Seller image for my new book, Broken Open. I have a condo in Solano Beach, CA and I am going to Israel (I’m actually leaving very soon) and taking a luxurious cruise from Singapore to Hong Kong and it’s only February. I’ll keep looking at my DREAM folder and adding to it.

The first step in this manifestation process is knowing you are deserving of it. Then seeing it, believing it, and finally living as if it is done and on its way.

What are the top 5 things you want to manifest in the next few months? Tell me below in the comments!

3 Self-Care Rituals to Empower You

Here’s the scoop: life is what you are going to make it. It may have taken me seventy years to learn that but now I want to give you a crash course.

What you think, how you feel and the choices you make are either going to create a shit show or something that is truly blissful.

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I’m all for bliss. Every day, I get up with the intention to have a really good day - and 99% of the time I do.

There are few exceptions, only those related to the freakin' frigid weather since my body no longer tolerates below freezing. Even the sound of that makes me shiver. Most days in the winter I go out looking like a seven-layer cake. I have so many layers under layers that if I met a hottie it would take him a week to get my clothes off. (Wishful thinking )What I’m trying to tell you is that I have no complaints about anything other than feeling like I have an icicle in my pants.

So, how did I get so blissful? With rituals and spiritual practices that feed my soul, stimulate my consciousness and enhance my physicality.

Below are my top rituals and spiritual practices to empower you.

1. Mindset

Every morning - first thing - check your mindset. Do you feel off? If so, start asking yourself why. Sit with it, see what comes up. Take a few extra minutes to see what’s going on in your head.

Once you feel more settled, try setting an intention to create an amazing day. Flip your mindset to something positive, intend to feel more empowered and watch how differently your day unfolds.

2. Inspirational Reading

A biggy for me the past several months is my new reading practice. I select books that teach me how to be a better, stronger and more evolved woman. I almost never watch TV anymore. The shows I liked seem to have lost their sizzle. Of course, until Game of Thrones comes back on in April. My fave reads are spiritual in nature, each one opening me up to a new practice.

A powerful suggestion for you is Matt Kahn’s new book, Everything is Here to Help You.

This will stimulate some serious self-reflection and journaling exercises. Honestly, that’s where all the transformation starts.

3. Essential Oils

The past few months, I've learned about crystals, angels, numerology and essential oils - and I’m hooked. I want to know more. This stuff is crazy good for women and improving our day to day lives - especially essential oils. I’ll be sharing more over the next few months. I diffuse daily while I’m at home working and do a little anointing with my doTerra “InTune “roll on. I use Breathe when I have the sniffles and Frankincense before my mediation practice.

Try putting a little oil on that sacred temple of yours put as few drops in your bath water.

If you're interested in Essential Oils, there is no one better than my girl Katy Shem.

What are some of your favorite self-care rituals to feel empowered? Comment below and let me know!

Kick Addiction to the Curb with Veronica Valli

You are now standing in a new year with a clean slate to start creating whatever you want. So maybe it’s time to leave the old baggage behind, the unresolved anger and all the emotional cobwebs which have been inspiring those midnight raids of the cookie jar.

If you want to be happy, it’s your job to make it happen.

You can’t expect other people to change you feelings. This is one of the biggest misconceptions women have. I’ve been guilty of this myself. I spent the first 40 years of my life looking for others to make me happy. We know how that went, not very well.

So instead of: if only ______would_______, I would be so happy.

How about: if I______, I am going to be so happy.

You pick what lights you up.

And ditch those midnight cookie raids. They’re all too addictive.

Speaking of addiction, this week’s guest is a leading authority. She learned about it the hard way.

Veronica Valli is a psychotherapist, recovery coach and Emotional Freedom Practitioner. She is the author of Why You Drink and How to Stop, and Get Sober, Get Free. As the co-host of the Soberful Podcast, she explores issues relating to recovery, getting sober and living an alcohol-free life. She coaches and supports women who want to stay sober and elevate their recovery to fulfill their highest potential. Veronica has been continuously sober for over 18 years.

In this week’s episode, Veronica talks about:

How women drink/eat to kill the pain of being afraid to be themselves
How human behavior manifests as feelings
How some forms of childhood trauma are at the root of addiction
Why women minimize their trauma and pain

and most importantly

Why breaking the pattern of addiction requires total commitment

LISTEN TO THE EPISODE HERE

As a bonus to you, grab a copy of her free Soberful ebook here!

I know dependency on alcohol only too well. However, I celebrated 30 years of recover New Year’s Eve. I am always monitoring my intake of sugar because I like it so much.

So, whether it’s booze, pills, sex, shopping, shoes or sugar, you will get some great info from the show.

I’m here to support you and help those who have broken hearts.

Did you enjoy this episode? Tell me below in the comments!

Get In Touch With Who You Are!

I made a post on Facebook the other day which has inspired that I write this post. I had the most amazing revelation while lying in bed that I am in this totally awesome relationship with myself. It may sound weird but let me explain. This year I have traveled the globe, taken courses, seen movies, tried new restaurants, exercise classes and more…all by myself. And loved every minute of it.

I don’t need to ask for permission or arrange my schedule according to someone else’s. Total blissful freedom to do as I please. I get to keep my favorite books on the bed, get up when I want and wear my comfy jammies at the breakfast table.

Truth be told, I’m having a blast not needing a man in my life. I’m actually thinking of starting a video series called the Single Girl Chronicles to show single women how to have fun!

I have to share this quote with you from Eternal Echoes by John O’Donohue:

Even without the outside lover, you can become the beloved. When you awaken in appreciation and love for yourself, springtime awakens in your heart.

There are so many women who don’t have men in their lives and they feel stuck, lost and alone.

I’ve honestly felt that at times in my own life – but not anymore. I am discovering that you can do lots of wonderful things being single. You don’t need a man to have FUN! It all comes back to what I talk so much about. How you feel about yourself. If you don’t like yourself, you’re not going to be happy alone. Building that confidence of being alone opens you to so many options. Learning new things, taking classes and travel are just a few of my favorites.

For those girls in a relationship, develop some interests separate from your man. A little independence is good for the soul-for the both of you!

More women are uncovering that their own company is a whole lot more fun than crappy company with someone who doesn’t inspire them!

Whether you’re single or happily taken, comment below and tell me about something you can do for YOURSELF (new or old) to HAVE FUN and get in touch with who you are!

Lessons I Learned in India While on a Spiritual Retreat

I had so many powerful realizations while traveling India on a spiritual retreat.

The big one which encompasses all the small ones is how resilient I have become.

A small lesson I learned while there was to master peeing while standing up. This may not sound like a big deal for you but with the length of my legs, not an easy task. My first reaction was “oh crap I can’t do this”. Well after a few hours of walking around in 90 degree humid heat with a full bladder, it was time to pee standing up or keel over.

The second small lesson was the reaction I got from the local people because I was very different looking to the Indian people. They all wanted to take selfies with me because I am tall and blonde. I kind of felt like I was a celebrity. Made me appreciate our individual uniqueness.

My big lesson was about resilience, the ability of getting back up after being knocked down really set in. I felt such appreciation for where I am now and how much I love my life today. God knows, I have walked through the fires of hell.

Several of the women I was traveling with shared how they had huge traumatic events in their lives which inspired their spiritual quest. I have to admit that the hot mess of my own life has done the same. Each time something earth shattering happens to me, I dig deeper in my spiritual practice for the answers. I am really learning just how powerful women can be.

You can grow emotionally and spiritually far beyond a traumatic event and recapture your life.

Even though adverse life events such as serious illness, accident or injury, abuse, bereavement or relationship breakdown can be a trigger for depression, anxiety or post-traumatic stress, people ARE capable of finding transformation through trauma. I know because I have done it several times.

And here’s where the good news gets even better: my friend Jennifer Cunningham is a trauma survivor who got through cancer feeling like her identity had become all about that experience. She decided to be true to herself, take on new challenges and view life from a wider perspective and so she brought together 24 experts, including me, to share our strategies to shift from trauma to enlightenment.

I’d love for you to join us for the Post-Traumatic Enlightenment Summit.
Reserve your free spot HERE.

And if a recent traumatic divorce or breakup has derailed your life or stripped you of your power, I am here to help you take back your power. Set up a Strategy Session with me HERE.

Big Love,
XOXOX

Mal