Personal Power

Courage – My Favorite Word to Describe What I Do!

I was having a conversation with Sonja, my TEDx buddy about key words to describe what we do in our work with clients. Her word was connection. She teaches her clients communications. At first I thought my word was inspire but then it hit me, it’s COURAGE.

I think of myself as a midlife transition coach who helps women get back up when life has unexpectedly knocked you down.

I now recognize that courage has served me well. I have used it to get back up many times when life has hit me with a huge challenge. Getting honest about my alcohol addiction years ago took courage. Surviving the death of my precious niece took courage. Getting up again after my divorce took more courage! My public speaking takes courage. I am always scared when I first start. I still remember kids laughing at me when I was small, making fun of me when I spoke up.

Courage is something we all have, it just needs to be nurtured. It is also a split second decision.

How do you muster up your courage?

Understand that fear is something you create with your thoughts.

Taking one small step at a time. Allow yourself to feel your fear, breathe deeply into it and count to five. Sit with it and let it settle. When fear first hits you, it can feel like your body is in a huge vice being squeezed. After a few minutes the sensation settles down and your mind quiets down. If you try to take action while consumed with fear, you usually make very emotional decisions. If you let the feeling of fear soften slightly, you will make more courageous choices.

I have watched people in scary situations run right into more trouble because they were consumed with fear and didn’t allow themselves to feel the fear before reacting.

Sometimes fear can be mistaken for excitement. The sensations feel identical in the body.

Courage can feel like excitement as well.

Courage is just overcoming your feelings of fear. I am sure you have heard “feel the fear and do it anyway”.

There is probably nothing you can’t deal with if you just give yourself a few moments to center yourself, acknowledge your fearful thoughts and then step right into your courage.

How to Shut Down the Inner Struggle

Do you wake up some days with two conversations going on in your head?

You toss and turn, there is a tug of war going on about deciding what to do.

One voice says, “stay where you are”, “don’t do anything”, “watch out”, “you can’t do this” which is the limiting voice of the ego. The ego doesn’t like growth, risks, vulnerability and the potential for failure. It’s all about keeping you safe so it thinks.

But how are you to grow and expand in this lifetime without stepping into the arena of challenge, of taking a chance? Stretching yourself beyond your current limits? You can’t.

The good news is the more you grow, the more that nagging voice will show up. So, recognize it as a very good sign and tell it “I heard you, not to worry, I’ve got this”.

Honestly, I have been hearing it a lot lately. Whenever I start thinking big and reaching for my dreams, my ego starts screaming at me. If I listened to it I would have accomplished none of the great things that I have done in my life.

One side of your brain supports everything you do. That is the loving side that doesn’t get caught in fear. You can call it spirit, the Universe or your higher self. The name doesn’t really matter but what it says to you does.

The more you nurture your relationship with the loving part of the brain, the fearful voice diminishes.

How do you build your connection to that loving voice in your head?

Simple. Stop multi-tasking. Your brain isn’t wired to do two things at once. When you multi task you are inadvertently weakening your efforts. Things don’t come out as well as they could have. Your brain is feeling split and starts letting you know by negative self-talk or even condemnation.
Meditation is the fastest way to discover the voice within that comes from your soul. Just allow 5-10 minutes for your mind to settle down. Then just breath and listen.
Journaling is another powerful practice that allows your soul to speak to you. Allow it to flow, no need to push and question intensely.
Oracle cards are fabulous. I use various angel decks, Law of Attraction or Kuan Yin. The cards I pull inspire a wonderful internal dialogue with my higher self.

Now when that crippling internal struggle starts, you can decipher who is speaking to you and acknowledge the voice. It is so much fun standing in your power and making powerful choices that take you places that you used to dream about.

My new book Midlife Transformation is here!

Today is the day I’ve been dreaming about for the past six months! Even Hannah knows Mom has a new book.

Please join me in celebrating the official birth of my new book “Midlife Transformation: Redefining Life, Love, Health & Success”!

I’m so excited to be a coauthor and share my transformational story, “STILL STRONG” in this heart centered project published by bestselling publishing house, Inspired Living Publishing!

Your support today would mean the world to me!

I’d be honored and grateful to have your support to help our inspirational book reach bestseller status and ultimately transform thousands of women’s lives around the world.

When you ORDER your copy of #MidlifeTransformation today as a thank you, you’ll receive access to over 60 transformational gifts from me, my coauthors, and some of today’s leading visionaries including Nancy Levin, Arielle Ford, Christy Whitman and others.

*****AND*****

… you’ll receive a limited time invitation and opportunity to enter your Amazon receipt # in TODAY’S #MidlifeTransformation Facebook Party & Giveaway for a chance to win:

~ Manifestation Bowls®

~ Blessings Bowls®

~ Lotus Life® inspirational tee shirts

~ Gem Set from Zen with Gems

~ Holistic Skin Care Sets from Holistic Body Basics

~ Custom Gemstone Pendulums from Katie Crommett

~ Anxiety Relief Support Packages from Anxiety Slayer

~ Mini handmade ceramic Giving bowls with Affirmation

~ and so much more!

Order #MidlifeTransformation today and I’ll see you at the party!

The twenty-nine stories in Midlife Transformation, including mine, reveal the miracles that happen when a woman makes an empowered choice to release the weight of her past, step out of the shadows, and embrace a life that fully honors her sacred truth. Every story is followed by three Reflection Questions to guide you deeper into your own truth.

Order #MidlifeTransformation today and receive immediate access to all the gifts!

ADVANCE PRAISE for Midlife Transformation:

“Transformative! It takes courage to step through your fears and trust the wisdom of your soul. The powerful stories shared in Midlife Transformation will remind you that when you harness your personal power, commit to living authentically, partner with the Divine, and bravely venture into the uncharted, magic happens!” ~ Colette Baron-Reid, Intuitive, spiritual teacher, psychic medium, author, and founder of Colette Baron-Reid’s Oracle School

***

“Courage is not always easy, but it is critical to living a life filled with love. Listening, and following our inner wisdom and guidance, requires us to build that muscle of courage. This is a wonderful book, full of inspirational stories to awaken women to their own inner wisdom and courage to live a life full of love, joy, and abundance.” Christy Whitman, New York Times best-selling author of The Art of Having It All.

Order #MidlifeTransformation today and I’ll see you at the party!

As Master Integrative Coach, teacher, radio host, and best-selling Hay House author Nancy Levin shares in the foreword:

“You’ll be moved by the messages from women who allowed themselves to be guided by courage to approach life on their own terms, taking action to live aligned with their truth and desires, standing solidly in their self-worth. Allow this book to serve as a compass to lead you back to yourself, with an invitation to find and trust your own voice as you dive deeply into your desire.”

I am honored to have this connection with you. I share my truth with you in my writings so you can live yours!

Sending you big love,

You Are Never Too Old!

I have been deeply touched by the recent movement of women coming together to speak their truth about equal rights and ending sexual and physical abuse. Sadly, the politics in our country have stirred massive fear and anger in the female population. I just wish we all had started being so proactive years ago rather than reacting to a specific ideology and commentary. I love how they expressed themselves in so many creative ways, sharing what was in their hearts with the world.

Honestly, as I age I become less concerned with what others think and I am more focused on my own evaluation. Having been a major people pleaser, forgoing my own dreams and self-worth for the approval of others has come to an end. I don’t care what other people think of me. Everything I do has the intention of love, laughter and giving in some way. If that stirs something negative in someone else, I think they need to look at their own sh*t and figure it out.

The more playful and free I am, the younger I feel. I love laughing at me. I dress up with my dog, and post funny pictures to Facebook. I live in hot pink and orange clothing because it perks me up. Somebody might think I am a little demented but I am having a blast.

Today I am going out with my pink pussy hat. This ought to stir some commentary. Who says I can’t wear one? As I said before, you are never too old. I’m going to a dance class where the women are half my age. I can kick and bend with the best of them.

How about Tom Brady, the quarterback for the New England Patriots coming back from the impossible in Super Bowl? He is 39 years old which is considered old for the position. He never stopped believing in himself or his team. He has worked hard to keep himself so physically fit. He doesn’t think he is old and he competes with the best.

A healthy mindset works for both men and women!

I love bringing positive energy and encouraging people to be and do more!

Have a rock star day!

Sending you big love,

Graduating From a Life of Resistance to a Life of Acceptance

I realized yesterday that my life is really a series of graduations from different phases of self-expression. Simply put, the first half of my life was all about resistance to “what is” and living my life blinded by my own beliefs. Then I graduated to a life of acceptance: living with “what is” and understanding that my beliefs might not reflect the truth.

When we accept something, we are not saying that we approve of it, we are simply no longer resisting it. When we resist, we put valuable energy into a situation that cannot be changed. We are unable to rewrite the script. So why invest valuable energy in something you cannot change? Why hold on so dearly to a situation that has no bearing on where you are today? What if, instead, you accept the situation as it is? Through acceptance we are able to release the hold we have put on ourselves. Once we accept, we can then reclaim our power and our right to choose.

Many unbearable things may happen to us in life. The longer we resist, the harder we try to change the situation and this results in more suffering. By accepting these unbearable situations, we can free our hearts and minds from endless days of anguish.

I personally carried disappointments and failed relationships around for years. They were the root of my self-imposed suffering. The pain I felt created an image of worthlessness and doom. All I knew was what I believed. I embraced alcohol to make myself feel better. At first that worked, but then the pain reoccurred. Before long I was consumed again and feeling there was no way to survive the pain. At a very low moment, I realized I could accept all the heartache I felt, as it no longer had any bearing on my current reality. The veil of illusion was lifted and an awakened woman emerged.

So much personal suffering is tied to resistance. Open your minds and your hearts. Welcome in acceptance and feel the shift of your personal power rush though you. Step 2 of the Five Steps of Faith from my book, Alpha Chick is to say “I accept disappointments, fears and sorrows so I may free myself from a past that no longer serves me, and I consciously change my attitude so that I may live the joyous life that is always available to me”.

How can you apply this to your own life? Please share some of your action steps.

Live Faithfully,

Mal

If you like our content sign up here for updates and a free gift!

Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, CBS Radio, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over one hundred Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.