Mal Duane Coach

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Kick Addiction to the Curb with Veronica Valli

You are now standing in a new year with a clean slate to start creating whatever you want. So maybe it’s time to leave the old baggage behind, the unresolved anger and all the emotional cobwebs which have been inspiring those midnight raids of the cookie jar.

If you want to be happy, it’s your job to make it happen.

You can’t expect other people to change you feelings. This is one of the biggest misconceptions women have. I’ve been guilty of this myself. I spent the first 40 years of my life looking for others to make me happy.  We know how that went, not very well.

So instead of: if only ______would_______, I would be so happy.

How about: if I______, I am going to be so happy.

You pick what lights you up.

And ditch those midnight cookie raids. They’re all too addictive.

Speaking of addiction, this week’s guest is a leading authority. She learned about it the hard way. 

 

Veronica Valli is a psychotherapist, recovery coach and Emotional Freedom Practitioner. She is the author of Why You Drink and How to Stop, and Get Sober, Get Free. As the co-host of the Soberful Podcast, she explores issues relating to recovery, getting sober and living an alcohol-free life. She coaches and supports women who want to stay sober and elevate their recovery to fulfill their highest potential.  Veronica has been continuously sober for over 18 years.  


In this week’s episode, Veronica talks about: 

  • How women drink/eat to kill the pain of being afraid to be themselves
  • How human behavior manifests as feelings
  • How some forms of childhood trauma are at the root of addiction
  • Why women minimize their trauma and pain 

and most importantly

  • Why breaking the pattern of addiction requires total commitment 

LISTEN TO THE EPISODE HERE

As a bonus to you, grab a copy of her free Soberful ebook here! 

I know dependency on alcohol only too well. However, I celebrated 30 years of recover New Year’s Eve. I am always monitoring my intake of sugar because I like it so much.

So, whether it’s booze, pills, sex, shopping, shoes or sugar, you will get some great info from the show.

I’m here to support you and help those who have broken hearts. 

Did you enjoy this episode? Tell me below in the comments!

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How to Shut Down the Inner Struggle

Do you wake up some days with two conversations going on in your head?

You toss and turn, there is a tug of war going on about deciding what to do.

One voice says, “stay where you are”, “don’t do anything”, “watch out”, “you can’t do this” which is the limiting voice of the ego. The ego doesn’t like growth, risks, vulnerability and the potential for failure. It’s all about keeping you safe so it thinks.

But how are you to grow and expand in this lifetime without stepping into the arena of challenge, of taking a chance?  Stretching yourself beyond your current limits? You can’t.

The good news is the more you grow, the more that nagging voice will show up. So, recognize it as a very good sign and tell it “I heard you, not to worry, I’ve got this”.

Honestly, I have been hearing it a lot lately. Whenever I start thinking big and reaching for my dreams, my ego starts screaming at me. If I listened to it I would have accomplished none of the great things that I have done in my life.

One side of your brain supports everything you do. That is the loving side that doesn’t get caught in fear.  You can call it spirit, the Universe or your higher self. The name doesn’t really matter but what it says to you does.

The more you nurture your relationship with the loving part of the brain, the fearful voice diminishes.

How do you build your connection to that loving voice in your head?

  1. Simple. Stop multi-tasking. Your brain isn’t wired to do two things at once. When you multi task you are inadvertently weakening your efforts. Things don’t come out as well as they could have.  Your brain is feeling split and starts letting you know by negative self-talk or even condemnation.
  2. Meditation is the fastest way to discover the voice within that comes from your soul. Just allow 5-10 minutes for your mind to settle down. Then just breath and listen.
  3. Journaling is another powerful practice that allows your soul to speak to you. Allow it to flow, no need to push and question intensely.
  4. Oracle cards are fabulous. I use various angel decks, Law of Attraction or Kuan Yin. The cards I pull inspire a wonderful internal dialogue with my higher self.

Now when that crippling internal struggle starts, you can decipher who is speaking to you and acknowledge the voice. It is so much fun standing in your power and making powerful choices that take you places that you used to dream about.

 

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My new book Midlife Transformation is here!

Today is the day I’ve been dreaming about for the past six months! Even Hannah knows Mom has a new book. 

Please join me in celebrating the official birth of my new book “Midlife Transformation: Redefining Life, Love, Health & Success”!

I’m so excited to be a coauthor and share my transformational story, “STILL STRONG”  in this heart centered project published by bestselling publishing house, Inspired Living Publishing!

Your support today would mean the world to me! 

I’d be honored and grateful to have your support to help our inspirational book reach bestseller status and ultimately transform thousands of women’s lives around the world.

When you ORDER your copy of #MidlifeTransformation today  as a thank you, you’ll receive access to over 60 transformational gifts from me, my coauthors, and some of today’s leading visionaries including Nancy Levin, Arielle Ford, Christy Whitman and others.

*****AND*****

… you’ll receive a limited time invitation and opportunity to enter your Amazon receipt # in TODAY’S #MidlifeTransformation Facebook Party & Giveaway for a chance to win:

~ Manifestation Bowls®

~  Blessings Bowls®

~  Lotus Life® inspirational tee shirts

~  Gem Set from Zen with Gems

~  Holistic Skin Care Sets from Holistic Body Basics

~  Custom Gemstone Pendulums from Katie Crommett

~  Anxiety Relief Support Packages from Anxiety Slayer

~  Mini handmade ceramic Giving bowls with Affirmation

~ and so much more!

Order #MidlifeTransformation today and I’ll see you at the party!

The twenty-nine stories in Midlife Transformation, including mine, reveal the miracles that happen when a woman makes an empowered choice to release the weight of her past, step out of the shadows, and embrace a life that fully honors her sacred truth. Every story is followed by three Reflection Questions to guide you deeper into your own truth.

Order #MidlifeTransformation today and receive immediate access to all the gifts!

ADVANCE PRAISE for Midlife Transformation:

“Transformative! It takes courage to step through your fears and trust the wisdom of your soul. The powerful stories shared in Midlife Transformation will remind you that when you harness your personal power, commit to living authentically, partner with the Divine, and bravely venture into the uncharted, magic happens!” ~ Colette Baron-Reid, Intuitive, spiritual teacher, psychic medium, author, and founder of Colette Baron-Reid’s Oracle School

***

“Courage is not always easy, but it is critical to living a life filled with love. Listening, and following our inner wisdom and guidance, requires us to build that muscle of courage. This is a wonderful book, full of inspirational stories to awaken women to their own inner wisdom and courage to live a life full of love, joy, and abundance.”  Christy Whitman, New York Times best-selling author of The Art of Having It All.

Order #MidlifeTransformation today and I’ll see you at the party!

As Master Integrative Coach, teacher, radio host, and best-selling Hay House author Nancy Levin shares in the foreword:

“You’ll be moved by the messages from women who allowed themselves to be guided by courage to approach life on their own terms, taking action to live aligned with their truth and desires, standing solidly in their self-worth. Allow this book to serve as a compass to lead you back to yourself, with an invitation to find and trust your own voice as you dive deeply into your desire.”

I am honored to have this connection with you. I share my truth with you in my writings so you can live yours! ​​​​​​​

Sending you big love,
Mal Duane

 

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Start your Day Right with a Morning Practice

My meditation room
My meditation room

Wouldn’t it be great to start the day feeling peaceful, focused, and inspired? Every day I start my morning feeling centered and at peace.  My secret is having a morning practice.  Having a daily set of rituals helps you feel grounded in your body, mind, and soul.  Taking time to renew helps you be more creative, productive and energized throughout the day.

I have a meditation tray with all my favorite things that make me feel centered.  It has photographs of people I love, a statue of Buddha, a rosary, and other treasured items.  I am diligent of meditating every day.  I created a special meditation room in my home.  Sometimes I light a candle before I begin. There I can pray, meditate, and find my focus for the day.

My meditation try
My meditation try

Here’s some ideas for things to include in your morning practice.

1) Start the day with coffee, tea, or water

2) Exercise – This can be some stretches, yoga, or a morning walk with the dog.

3) Journal – Writing a few notes in your journal is a way to capture what’s on your mind.  You can start with a journal prompt, writing about the day to come, what you discovered in prayer, meditation, a daily focus… whatever comes to mind.  There are no rules.

4) Prayer/Meditation – Slow down and breath.  Take time to reconnect to the Divine within you.  Listen to the quiet whispers of your soul.  Ask for guidance.  You will be surprised how centered and focused you can be with just a few minutes of morning prayer to ground you.

5) Personal Development – Dedicate yourself to be a lifelong learner. Read a chapter from your favorite book.  Listen to a podcast.  Do a daily devotional.  Read a newsletter from industry experts.  I have a Library of Love I look to for daily growth.  In it are titles like “Simple Abundance” abd “Finding your Own North Star”.

6) Get inspired – Uplift your soul.  This can be reading an affirmation like “I am happy, healthy, and free”.  It may be a word like “courage” that you want to embrace for the day.  Perhaps you found an inspirational quote that sparked your interest. I like to spend 10 minutes internalizing my daily affirmation.

7) Be Grateful – The more your count your blessings, the more blessings you have to count.  Take time to recognize what’s wonderful in your world.  When you appreciate and take joy in what you have, the universe sends you more.

8) Dream and Visualize your Day – What would you like to have, be do? Take a few moments to close your eyes.  Imagine what you’d like to see happen.  Feel it in your heart.  When you feel excited and focus on what you want, it will attract it.  What you think about, you bring about. Create a dream map on the wall.  Have a dream chest with items and pictures that inspire you.  Start a dream folder with pictures about what you’d like to attract into your life.

9) Make a plan – What three things if you did them would make the biggest impact for you?  Tackle the biggest task first while you are sharp and full of energy.

So instead of turning on the computer, hopping into your email, and letting the day control you, setup a morning practice.  It gives you a beautiful, centered time just for yourself.  By easing into your day, you’ll find more joy and stamina to tackle the day. IMG_0059 2015-01-31 14.06.08

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Alpha Chick: Christine Kloser – Her Story of Transformation

 Christine Kloser is a Spiritual Guide, Award-Winning Author, and Transformational Book Coach whose spot-on guidance transforms the lives of visionary entrepreneurs and authors around the world. Her passion is fueled by her own transformation in January 2011 when letting go of the last shred of stability and security in her life was how she discovered her truth. From that place, she fearlessly (and faithfully) went on to quickly create the most abundant, impactful and joyous success of her life. She now blends her passion for personal and global transformation with her gifts as a transformational book coach – and as a result she’s impacting tens of thousands of messengers across the globe. Learn more at //christinekloser.com/

We all experience life challenges that looking back we can see were the catalyst for living a deeper, more authentic life. What has been your greatest personal challenge that you’ve overcome that served as your pivot point to transformation? 

The greatest personal challenge I faced was the demise of the business I’d built by trying to do everything right. I’d seen all the “guru’s” and learned what seemed like the “sure-fire ways” to grow and build a big-time business. I did everything I was “supposed” to do. I built my list, I positioned myself as an expert, I introducedd a high-level six figure coaching program, I hosted a big live event, I enrolled clients into a year-long mastermind program, I had a half-million dollar year. It looked like a dream come true for any aspiring entrepreneur. But, inside something didn’t feel right.

In fact, I had gone to my coach in the middle of it all and outright said, “This doesn’t feel right.” I was quickly assured that I was “nuts” and everything I was doing was great. Yet, my heart continued to ache, the lack of peace and joy in my business continued and the challenges followed as quickly as the success came. Challenges with clients, my business partners (at the time), the economy and “credit crunch,” my marriage, my finances… everything started to crumble. At first it was a slow crumble over the course of a few years, and then in December of 2010… that slow crumble turned into a final and fast CRASH!

When I was in the middle of this challenge, it appeared as though the problem was my financial situation. But, now, looking back I clearly see that the financial challenges were a result of other things. They were a result of my desire to make everyone else happy, at the expense of my own happiness. They were the result of being afraid to stand up for myself. They were the result of my lack of self-worth and lack of belief that I could succeed if I did things “my way.” The list could go on and on.

Basically, I was lost inside and continually striving for external “success” to fill that place inside of me that felt empty and not good enough. The decisions I made came from this wounded place as did the people I attracted into my life.

It was a very difficult time of my life – to lose everything. Yet, it was also the most powerful time of my life. I wouldn’t wish these challenges for anyone, but I can honestly say that I’d do it all over again myself if I had to… because without this challenge I wouldn’t be living the life I am today. And, I truly love my life… and my business!

Describe the transformational moment or wake-up call when you realized that life change was necessary? For many, it’s a spiritual awakening, an emotional downfall, or a life-altering experience that shakes us awake. 

The moment that truly changed everything occurred at about 10:30 AM EST on December 1, 2010. I can remember it vividly. That was the moment that thing got worse… after I thought they were already at rock bottom. If you’ve ever experience that feeling of having the rug pulled out from underneath you when you already felt like the FLOOR was gone… that was my experience.

You see, in June 2010, my husband and I had to make the most difficult, and gut-wrenching decision of our lives. After my business crumbled around me, it left me with basically no income (aside from the little I made from the publishing part of my business, where I’d brought a partner in to help me with that piece). It became clear that there was no way that I could support my family, and cover our bills on what I was making in that partnership. And, I was mentally, and emotionally incapable of trying to sustain my own business that had been crumbling for a few years. So, after months of trying to see if there was any way to avoid it… there wasn’t… and we filed for a personal bankruptcy.

It took months to make the decision because we just couldn’t imagine going through that. We’d lose our house, have our credit record ruined, and I’d have the “stigma” of being a financial failure.. at least in my mind. But, the day came on December 2, 2010 (my birthday) that it was time to sign our papers and allow the next chapter of our lives to unfold.

And, as I share this next part, I truly have to thank God for working so miraculously and powerfully in my life to give me the exact experience that would literally throw me to my knees in despair…. this moment changed everything.

On December 1, 2010… less than 24 hours before I was going to file bankruptcy papers (something I felt I could do knowing that I could then focus on the partnership I had to serve authors and make enough money to support my family) – I received a FedEx letter from my business partner’s attorney stating she didn’t want to be partners anymore and wanted to buy my shares of the company.

You would have thought a football player slammed into me and knocked me down… that’s how powerful this news hit me…. like I had been smashed to the ground and left to lick my own wounds. I was in a fog, certain that this couldn’t really be happening… but it was. And, over the course of 6 week of trying to flip things around and buy out her shares (I’d put 6 years into building that part of my business prior to inviting her to join me)…. I finally surrendered to God’s will. I let go of it. I surrendered the last thing that felt like any security or stability in my life. I felt like I was left with nothing.

But, soon discovered that I finally had EVERYTHING I’d ever needed… and more!

After experiencing your personal wake-up call what were the most powerful steps you took to change your life? 

There were many things I did to help transform this time of despair into the most fruitful, peaceful, joyous and fulfilling time of my life! The first thing I did was “rally the troops.” By that I mean I leaned on my closest friends for support, I let them love me and remind me of the light that was still within me.

I also allowed myself to feel the depth of the despair, pain and anger that was coursing through my veins. I didn’t shy away from it, I dove into it. I went through a gazillion boxes of tissues. I wrote many letters to God to release the pain inside of me and burned them ceremoniously as I prayed for this feeling to leave my heart. Which leads me to the next thing… I prayed nearly non-stop! I was well aware of the fact that if I were to make it through to the other side, that I couldn’t do it alone, nor could I do it just with the support of my family and friends. I began to lean on God ever more than my friends and would spend several hours a day in prayer and meditation. It was in these moments where the peace and joy began to fill me as I learned to trust that everything really was happening for my highest good.

I truly had never felt more peaceful and happy (at least at that stage in my life) than when I was filing for bankruptcy, losing my home, going through a difficult partnership dissolution, having challenges in my marriage with all the stress we were under financially, etc. The only thing I can say is that it was GRACE that saved me and helped turn things around.

Even through these challenges, I would see signs of grace EVERYWHERE and in ABUNDANCE! It’s as if suddenly I had eyes that could SEE what was really happening. It felt like nothing short of a miracle to witness so much grace. Oh, it was magnificent!

This peace and joy that I came to feel allowed me to move on and open up to new possibilities. I allowed my intuition to finally guide me more than my rational mind. I listened to the nudges, followed the guidance I was receiving and moved forward on faith. And, it was astonishing to then have things change in warp-speed for GOOD in my life! Every ounce of the challenge was worth it because the gifts so far have far surpassed anything I could have done had this challenge not happened. God truly does work in incredible ways to get us exactly where we’re meant to be.

Please share a Positive Mental Shift tip that woman can implement today to support them on their journey of transformation and empowerment. 

Change your perspective! As soon as something challenging happens to you, immediately begin to ponder what the GIFTS could be in that challenge. When you look at everything that happens as SERVING your highest good… you can open your eyes to see things from a much higher perspective. A perspective that will bring you much peace on your transformational journey.

 

HEAR her powerful story of transformation on the
Positive Mental Shift FREE teleseries and CLAIM HER FREE GIFT!

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