Transformation

The more you push, the greater the pain.

You may think I am talking about childbirth but I’m not. What I am really referencing is the powerful practice of acceptance. Sounds simple but boy do we resist. When you accept something you acknowledge that it is true, that it has happened. You are not judging it as right or wrong but just as is. However we put ourselves through unnecessary suffering and anguish by resisting. This ultimately causes more pain than the original event.

One of our biggest challenges is accepting things about ourselves. We can tolerate ungodly things from others but wow do we beat ourselves up over the smallest things. Whatever you did yesterday or a year ago has no bearing on who you are today. So along with our resistance to what is comes a whole lot of judgement. Now we add our personal perspective to the equation and things can get really ugly.

Acceptance takes practice. However once you get it life becomes increasingly easier on you! It doesn’t mean you are letting someone off for their inappropriate behavior. With acceptance, you are no longer consumed by what they did and now you can move on in a more constructive manner with your life.

So step two of the transformational process is Acceptance. In my last post we talked about Focus.

In my next post, we are going to discuss Intention. This is my favorite. Since I started setting an intention every day, my life has changed dramatically.

Live Faithfully

Mal

If you like our content sign up here for updates and a free gift!

Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, CBS Radio, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over one hundred Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

Upside down or Bottom out-which one have you hit?

The other day someone asked me about my coaching for women. I started to say I was a Life Recovery Coach and then it hit me. Actually I am a champion for restoring women’s self-worth. When I think about all the women I have worked with, there has been one very significant common thread in our coaching sessions. Something had happened that severely compromised their self-worth.

Like me, many of them had experienced a loss, failed relationship or a circumstance that tackled how they felt about themselves. I now realize my own life is actually a message for what I do. I completely bottomed out emotionally and found myself living in a dark pit of self-loathing and hopelessness. The darkness in my soul led me to believe that I might actually be better off dead. This experience showed me the depths of pain that we as women can fall into.

I know your cries first hand and I have felt your pain.

Once I understood that my self-worth was totally dependent on me and not in the hands on another, I started to climb back up from the emotional bottom I had been living in for years. My mission became that I must teach what I also must learn.

Something that was absolutely fixable had taken so many years of my life as well as almost end it.

Self-worth is the foundation for successful relationships and careers. Without it there is no support for the life you desire. (Tweetable)

It is our perceptions and thoughts of sharp criticism and hurtful experiences that plant the seeds of unworthiness in our delicate minds. Our loved ones assume we will get over it but sadly the scars start to grow internally. It can take surprisingly little things to diminish our sense of self-worth. But when it is gone-holy crap it’s a fast ride down.

The good news is that self-worth is so fixable. It comes from the inside out and you are the only one that can heal it. Your perceptions (your ego’s reaction) to events comments and challenges have created how you feel about you!

I discovered a five step process for living with Faith and restoring our Self-Worth

The first step is changing your focus. Don’t look for things outside of you (clothes, a man or money) to make you feel better. They are temporary band aids for the wound inside of you.

Real healing comes from going within, feeling the pain and pushing the veil of shame and guilt that you have created aside. When you face shame, it weakens its grip on you. Allow the light of self knowing to wipe out the darkness you have held on to. The beginning of climbing up from your emotional bottom is understanding that you put yourself there through your thoughts and not the truth about yourself. You have the power to fix it.

The only difference between you and someone else is your thoughts! (Tweetable)

This is not a complicated process. Walk with me as I take you through it. In the next blog post I will introduce you to Step 2.

Faithfully,

Mal

If you like our content sign up here for updates and a free gift!

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

I Admit It, I Am A Romance Junkie

I remember like it was yesterday, I was twelve years old with my friend Suzie and we went to see “Blue Hawaii” with Elvis Presley in early 1960’s. I was on the edge of my chair watching him swiveling his hips and singing love songs. Half my popcorn was in my lap and never made it to my mouth. I was so captivated by the movie that I felt like I was in it. This would become the beginning of my fascination for romantic films. Another favorite was Rome Adventure with Suzanne Pleshette and Try Donahue.

I wasn’t allowed to watch TV during school nights. So almost every weekend I would go to the movies. I would cry and laugh with the leading actresses, almost mouthing every word. How I loved Gone with the Wind, Breakfast at Tiffany’s and Ghost with Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore.

I soon learned as I grew up that those incredible love stories, we’re just that-fictitious stories with imaginary characters. Falling in love wasn’t really like that all. In fact it could be really painful. There were no knights in shining armor.

Truth be told, relationships are very challenging, take a lot of work and in many cases just don’t work no matter how hard you try. So how do you create something that is today such a challenge for so many of us?

I have been invited to join a group of amazing experts on The Passion and Romance Live Summit to share the best strategies for attracting a soul mate and creating a loving relationship. I am honored to be appearing along with John Gray, Arielle Ford and Janet Attwood. You do not want miss this!

Get your free access to all the sessions at >> Passion and Romance Summit

If you have been struggling to create the loving relationship you deserve, then stop by and hear what these amazing experts have to say.

I will share a few solid tips on how to manifest your man!

Hope you join me! >> Passion and Romance Summit

((Hugs))

Mal

If you like our content sign up here for updates and a free gift!

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

Who is running the show? Me or mini-me!

If you missed it last week, my new book “Choosing Happiness” which is an anthology with an amazing group of women hit NO 1 on five different lists on Amazon. We even out performed ”Ruby” which is Oprah’s top pick this month and Tony Robbin’s new book. It was such an exciting day watching this baby work its way up. Here is the link to Amazon if you didn’t grab your copy yet. >>> //amzn.to/1CoUbMG

But in the middle of all this excitement, I had a battle going on in my head. As good as life can be, there will always be challenges sneaking around the corner.

It hit me like a lightning bolt that I am carrying some old crap around. This stuff is actually influencing my perception of the present moment. I physically feel like something heavy is on my shoulders. So I stopped everything and just sat with what I was feeling.

After about thirty minutes of just paying attention to my breath and the way my body felt, these thoughts started to emerge. I was feeling resentment, I was carrying judgment and I had the need to be right. These are three of the most significant blocks to inner peace and real joy.

I was thinking who me? Yes that mini me, the voice of the ego that I call Louise was screaming in my head. The big conscious me, know better Mal was thinking that I am way too smart to get trapped in such a negative mindset. While the inner battle was going on, I was finding myself trapped in the middle of all this mind clutter.

I know how to clear resentment and judgment through meditation and journaling. Also being a practitioner of the Course in Miracles has done wonders. However I couldn’t shake that feeling, that need to prove to myself that I was right about something that had happened. The more I contemplated the issue, the more agitated I became. Holy crap, I was right!

So do I let these poisonous self-righteous thoughts sicken my state of happiness? Hell no, I needed to take affirmative action. I created affirmations around my struggle and repeated them to myself throughout the day. I wrote in my gratitude journal and expressed appreciation for that sixth sense of mine that shows up every now and then. My attachment to my thoughts started to soften. I was able to envision a more realistic perception than the one I was clinging to.

I know when this inner mental battle starts whipping me around, I have to step up and make a conscious choice to think differently, to think about being happy.

I can focus on being right or I can pull my vibration up and get in alignment with what I really want. I understand fully that what I put my attention on will show up in my physical experience. So this girl is choosing to stay with what feels better. The best part of this entire process is the situation is no longer controlling how I feel. I worked through it and actually decided to take a much more empowering path that will get me where I need to be.

So the big lesson here, is continue to Choose Happiness, it really works.

Love and Live Faithfully,

Mal

If you like our content sign up here for updates and a free gift!

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

I love giving things away!

Happy New Year!

I love a new year because it means new beginnings, new intentions for what I want to create and do with my life.

For the past several years my burning desire to serve women has become so clear. I know today without a moment of hesitation that my purpose is to teach women, to gently guide them to rediscovering a divine power that already exists within them and release the blocks that keep them from experiencing their bliss.

If you don’t nurture and lovingly care for this power, it gets buried beneath the debris you acquire from the experiences of your life. Past upsets and trauma bury it deep within your soul.

I must admit at times that I am guilty of allowing debris to build up which diminishes my power and the ability to make choices. When I am fully aligned, I am excited by the unlimited potential I see before me.

I am no different than you. WE ALL HAVE UNLIMITED POTENTIAL.

How would your life change if you tapped into your heart’s desire and started creating what you have been dreaming about? Your excitement is a direct link to source energy. The more excited you are, the clearer your vision becomes. Your excitement is the window to your soul.

My excitement has inspired me to offer you a gift. During February 1-14^th, I will be doing ten free Discovery Calls for potentially new clients. I will teach you to tap into your source energy and become a magnificent manifester in 2015. Because of my demanding schedule I can only give ten sessions.

Are you all you want to be today? I hope you will take advantage of this offer. I would be honored to show you how to get more out of life, fulfill your purpose and create loving relationships you desire.

What is the most joyous thing you could create this year? I will show you how to do it. You need to start planting the seeds early for a miraculous new year. Click here to contact me.

Here’s to creating your heart’s desire.

Love and Live Faithfully,

Mal

If you like our content sign up here for updates and a free gift!

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.