Well, I hope you had a blessed Thanksgiving wherever you were. I traveled to California to sniff out the real estate market for my future home and then went on to Palm Springs to see the grands (grandkids). It is so much fun being with them. However, they are growing up way too fast which is making me feel older. Grandma Mal knows how to get their attention. I always do an ice cream sundae night for them. It’s one of their favorite things.
I realize how blessed I am to have them in my life. I was having a conversation with my granddaughter Lydia that absolutely left me speechless. She told me she was very happy, and I asked her why. She replied, “Grandma Mal it’s because of all the love I have in my heart”. I almost fell of my chair. I said to her “where did you learn that”? She told me she didn’t learn it. It was just the way she felt. I almost cried. The pure joy that they all show, without any inhibition is a gift.
This time of year is not always a happy one for many people. They can battle deep depression or anxiety about family gatherings. For those that suffer from addiction, this time of year can be really tempestuous. The constant consumption of food and alcohol happening around them can rattle their sobriety.
The next four weeks are going to be crazy with Christmas and New Year’s for most of you. I start to hibernate in my Zen den, while I’m reading and writing. I love making my sacred mandala for the New Year on the 1st. This year I’m getting ready to move, so there is so much packing and sorting to do. Remember, I AM HERE FOR YOU! If you start to slide emotionally or feel overwhelmed just shoot me an email or PM me on Facebook. I’ll get right back to you. All private sessions are 50% off this month.
This week’s guest on Awakening Divine Wildness is Sherianna Boyle, MED CAGS and she is a real smarty pants! She is a professor, does workshops at Kripalu and 1440 Multiversity as well as being the author of several bestselling books. Her latest one is “Emotional Detox For Anxiety: 7 Steps to Release Anxiety and Energize Joy”. Honestly, it is one of the best books I have read on this topic. Each chapter has fabulous charts and exercises to do to help you work through your anxiety. Sherianna uses a process called CLEANSE. You’ve gotta jump on the podcast and hear what she has to say.
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Mal Duane Interviews Sherianna Boyle
Mal: [00:05:00] Well, folks, it’s that time of year – Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s all coming up. Now some people call this the holidays. I used to call it hurricane season because it’s not always everything that it’s cut up to be. Some people go through this with grace and ease and others are holding their breath.
Well, today’s guest, Sherianna Boyle, is the author of several books. Really hot topic – anxiety. And her new book, Emotional Detox for Anxiety, will be out in December. We’re going to talk about this. She also has Emotional Detox: 7 Steps for Releasing Toxicity and Energizing Joy. Her book, The Four Gifts of Anxiety, was endorsed by the National Association for Mental Health and Sherianna has been featured as an expert in over 80 articles.
She’s an adjunct professor – Psychology Professor – and founder of Emotional Detox Coaching, the C.L.E.A.N.S.E. Method, which you’re going to learn about today. She’s leading two Emotional Detox retreats this year, one at Kripalu in 2020 in January and the other at the 1440 Multiversity in California.
That’s awesome, girl! Those are huge, wow! She even had a retreat in Portugal earlier this year… oh, excuse me! It’s in Portugal, May 2020. You’re rockin’ and rollin’! And you can find all her books and resources on SheriannaBoyle.com.
Girl, it is wonderful to be here with you!
Sherianna: Thank you! Thanks for having me.
Mal: Wow, you’re going to Kripalu and 1440 then to Portugal. That is spectacular!
I have to tell you, I read this and this is maybe the greatest toolbox I’ve ever seen for how someone can deal with anxiety. And the process that you take people through, it is fabulous. So I want to jump right in and have you tell the audience all about C.L.E.A.N.S.E.
Sherianna: [00:02:26] Oh, boy! So, C.L.E.A.N.S.E. is the acronym that I use for the seven steps of an emotional detox and each step goes in order, and there’s a reason for that, and they build upon each other, and the purpose of the C.L.E.A.N.S.E. is not about getting rid of your emotions. It’s about getting rid of the reactions—I should say, releasing the reactions so that you can actually feel and transform the emotions that are being pressed down, suppressed, repressed by the ways that we have learned to react and that shows up in many ways.
It shows up in our thought patterns; it shows up in our beliefs; it shows up in our actions.
It can be so subtle that it can be sometimes difficult to pick up on your own, but once you clear the reactions, then what I find is that the emotions have the freedom to move.
As that occurs, they begin to become transformed into higher vibrational energy.
And then what happens is people can see patterns that perhaps they’ve had their entire life, and sometimes it’s a pattern that’s passed on through the family. So, in a nutshell, that is the intention behind the C.L.E.A.N.S.E. I just want to be clear—we’re not getting rid of emotions. In the Emotional Detox perspective, your emotions are extremely valuable.
In fact, I believe, they’re one of the most valuable parts of who we are.
The challenge is we’ve been trained to withhold them. We’ve been trained to confine them or to judge them.
We’ve even been trained to label them and when we’re busy labeling, they can’t be processed fully.
It’s like food. When we don’t digest our food, we’re not going to get the nutrients from the food. It’s the same thing when it comes to our emotions and this is proven on a scientific level. This isn’t just a random idea. You read the book. There’s some real Science behind this.
Mal: [00:04:58] So, first step, C.
Sherianna: What is it? So the first step is called “Clearing Reactivity”. So when I was researching the emotions, I really got interested in what’s called the vagus nerve, which has been out there.
I’ve seen a lot of different research on the importance of that nerve in the body, and it’s one of the longest-running nerves and it’s also a nerve that has a couple of chambers to it and so, one side of it can keep you in that fight or flight response while the other side can bring more ease in.
So the first step is actually learning how to tone that nerve and the reason being is when you do, you bring yourself into a state of processing. When someone feels that state—it’s a feeling, not a thought, ‘right? And it’s something that you learn how to do. Then you can move into the second step. And it’s an exploration.
I just worked with someone today. They didn’t even know they were going to do a C.L.E.A.N.S.E. with me. We actually were having a meeting, like kind of like this, but we were talking about something that we’re going to be doing some work together, and I said, “Well, you know, I think you ought to experience the C.L.E.A.N.S.E. before we move forward so that you get it”, because it’s one thing to read about it, it’s a whole another ballgame to actually go through it.
So we went through and he had no idea that was going to happen and he was like, “Whoa! That was… you’re right!” And so it’s… we’re so used to the talking model, right? That we have to process, like figuring it out or explaining or analyzing or trying to understand, and that first step is all about, “No, that’s not how we begin to process our feelings. It’s actually we have to learn to go to the body first”, and I use the toning the vagus nerve to do that, bringing reactivity down.
Mal: [00:07:25] Fabulous! So once we have tapped into what we’re feeling in our body and we know what’s in there and we’re not suppressing it, we’re feeling it, we’re allowing it… what do we do next?
Sherianna: So it’s really like, the first step, I call it like “preheating your oven”. So it’s just like you’re not going to bake something until that oven’s preheated. So you’re just going to think of it as preheating the body and it’s really a non-effort practice.
Once you get the feeling of what that is like, “Okay, I know when my body is ready to now bring something up”, because I think a lot of times, while having conversations with ourselves or with other people when they’re in reactivity. And when we have those conversations with them in reactivity, it’s like you get exhausted because, guess what, they don’t really take it all in, you know?
It’s no different than a child learning in school. If they don’t process the information, they’re not going to be able to recall it later and they’re not going to be able to take it out of that room and use it in everyday life. So it’s the same thing.
So that step two, then, begins to bring up what’s happening, but the way that we do that is a little different than in a normal dialogue. So then we bring up what is most present on your mind. What is happening closest to the here and the now that is coming up for me? And that’s the thing, it’s always happening for you, right? Like I know you are just not feeling well right now?
Mal: I had a bad cold, yeah.
Sherianna: I saw that. Well, it’s been a little bit now. You’ve been okay for a few days?
Mal: Yeah, I’m turning the corner.
Sherianna: You’re turning the corner. So that’s something that came up in your life that probably threw you off a little bit and so that might be something… you could either say, “Okay, I’m better and it’s time to move on now” or you can say, “Well, something came up in me to be healed.” To be processed, right?
And so, we’re so used to in our world of just, “Okay, I just got to cram and get better and move on to the next thing”, and I really believe that that’s what anxiety is all about and so I redefine it in this book that anxiety is an emotion that’s attempting to be processed but can’t because we won’t let it.
Mal: [00:10:40] And I love that definition because I think when we step over our emotions, it’s what causes us to be so anxious—comes up, bites us in the ass, makes it worst. Yes, it’s like a little dog nipping at your butt. Yup.
Sherianna: I mean, yeah, you get slammed with a cold or you have a sudden, you know, something happened in the family. We can’t control a lot of things that happen, right? But what we can do is say, “Okay, something is happening for me right here.”
Some emotions are looking to be processed that happen to be surfacing through this, you know, being sick or being in the situation or having this thing to deal with in my life. Let me take a moment and actually feel and process what’s happening and the go from there. And then you’ll discover, “Oh my gosh! That was exactly what I needed to move to the next thing.”
So that’s what the “Looking Inward” statement’s about. It’s about, “Okay, being sick this week,” and then taking that statement and doing it away with the C.L.E.A.N.S.E. and taking a moment to process that allows all of the reactions to come up. Very often, the reactions are the ways that you coped, right?
Sometimes we cope by running to the doctor, you know. Or we cope by popping pills, you know, medication. Or who knows? I mean, we have all ways that we cope when our life goes off-kilter but very often, the ways that we cope are actually the same thing that’s keeping the emotions from being processed.
Mal: [00:12:53] I used alcohol and you’re absolutely spot on! Yup. And the more I drink, the less I felt. I didn’t have to process anything. So I get it.
Okay, so now, we’ve done that looking in and figuring out what’s going on, we’re very present with what we’re feeling. Let’s talk about “Emit”.
Sherianna: Okay, so Emit is the third step. The Emit is…so how the Emit came to be is I wrote a book on mantras so I studied mantras for a long time. I had very solid mantra practice while I was writing Mantras Made Easy. I also had been teaching yoga for 18 years, so I’ve been very just around the whole energy of mantra.
I absolutely knew, after Mantras Made Easy, when I wrote the first Emotional Detox and then the Anxiety book, there’s no question in my mind that there would be sound integrated.
So a mantra is a sound or a syllable or word that’s vocalized and repeated. And so, in the Emit, I selected a mantra that we all do and we did when we were born and that is we hum, right? And it’s such innate, it crosses cultures and so that producing sound is the next step once you pull up the Looking Inward and then you go into the Emit, and then you move in to step 4.
[00:14:43] Yeah, which is, so then step 4 is the Activate step and that is when now you’re sort of turning the corner at this point because… and this is why at some part in this process is in order because what I’ve found in working with clients over the years—you’ve probably found this, Mal—is you work with someone, they feel better, and then all of a sudden they’re like, “Oh, yeah, but I want to tell you about my sister and what she did to me last week”, right? And you’re like, there’s five minutes left to the session here, and you want to go back? Right?
So I knew it had to be more than three steps. It has to be all seven steps and once you get to know them and you get familiar, it becomes a 5-minute practice. And so, when you turn that corner, it’s like you got to hold that road; if your car’s on the road, you want to stay focused in this process because that visualization piece is about… Activate is about really starting to see how your like, what it is that you’re creating in your life as you release this.
And then naturally moves into the nourishing phase, which is the “N”, and that is really cultivating this new higher vibrations in your life and there’s also tools for that. There are specific tools in your daily practice and then there’s ways to expand that in your daily life. So it’s a little bit of both.
And then the surrender step is the “S”.
Mal: My favorite.
Sherianna: Which is, yeah, and that’s really like you have to choose it. You know you’ve been through recovery. You have to want it. You have to claim it. It’s there for everybody. And everybody, it’s there, but you’re the one who has to have that say, “yes I am choosing this.” There’s a statement for that and then that transforms into the final step, which is E, which is really the becoming. So that is when you are it. It’s no longer separate from you and that’s the process.
Mal: [00:17:08] Every single one of these steps had such wonderful exercises, applications, and I love all the charts. This one on the surrender about, you know, writing and allowing statement, I just thought was brilliant. Matter of fact, I’ve photocopied it. I’ve kind of keep it in my planner so if I find myself in fixing mode, which, you know, I’m famous for, I allow peacemaking, I allow content, I allow calm, okay?
I mean, just wonderful, wonderful exercises and beautiful process and direction on how to deal with something. But hey, let’s face it, how many people suffer from anxiety?
Sherianna: Yeah.
Mal: Most of us, at one time or another.
Sherianna: [00:18:06] Right and I think what it is it really gets its definition from, if you find yourself waking up with it. So, I mean, we have stress, which we all have. Stress typically, there’s a reason, right? I have a deadline or I’ve missed an appointment or even I don’t feel well, you know. There’s a reason.
With anxiety, there doesn’t have to be a reason and I think that’s what we’re seeing more and more. Never before do we have so much. Everybody has so much, right? But yeah, we’re more anxious than ever before and we just keep upgrading, like, to the next thing and the next cellphone and so that’s true anxiety. When you wake up in the morning and you’re like, “I know I have a pretty good life but why am I so worried? Why do I dread stuff? Why do I not feel like myself? Why am I nervous?”
And then there’s a lot of relationship things that happen. So I think anxiety is pretty pervasive and if you don’t have it, then you’re probably living with someone that does or you’re around someone that has anxiety or just being in the world.
So what I love about the C.L.E.A.N.S.E. is it’s not just about us because I really believe that true healing means… true healing is when it benefits me and it benefits other people, ‘right? So I believe when we process our emotions, and that’s the second half of the book, it’s about manifesting. It’s that it really is the creative vibration; it works the laws of the universe for manifesting in the space of non-effort.
And I didn’t set out to write a book about manifesting. I just was teaching the tools and then watching things shift for people. It’s amazing and they’ve shifted for me and they’ve shifted for… I’m having conversations with clients. They’re like having career changes and their relationships are straightening out. They didn’t even come to me for that, but amazing really.
I mean, one of my clients just got picked up by Hay House the other for a book. She didn’t set out to write a book.
Mal: Wow!
Sherianna: Yeah. We’ve been working together. I’m like, are you freakin’ kidding me? I’m so excited, like, she didn’t even write a proposal.
Mal: So, in this time of working, all of a sudden she just writes a book?
Sherianna: She said, “Guess what? I have some news!” She’s at the right place at the right time with the right person, and it just surfaced and they just said, “You know a lot!” And it comes out for you really easily and, how would you like to write a book?
Mal: Wow!
Sherianna: Oh, yeah, this is… I’m like, you’ve got to be kidding me! This is the stuff… it’s funny, people show up usually in my world with anxiety but I know, I know that this is only the beginning for them. They’re thinking they just want to feel better and I’m excited to see where this could go because it really is the way that we manifest if we use all seven steps.
Mal: [00:22:07] Love it! Love it! Now, this isn’t out yet. It’s coming out in December. So, tell the audience how they can pre-order and then the yummies that you have that go with it.
Sherianna: So, Mal’s going to post the pre-order link for you and that is a link that is actually from the publisher, it’s not from me, and that will give you a download.
So we created a video download of me going over the five best practices for beginning an anxiety detox and so, what’s nice about it is, you know, so often, like, you get a book or you want to start something new, but then it’s like, “Okay, I have it. Now where do I begin?” Well, the download is going to tell you. This is where you need to begin. So when you get the book, and you get it instantly, you don’t have to wait until December. And then you can watch it as many times as you need to, but it really share a little bit about how I do this in a daily practice. So that’s the prize.
Mal: Wow, that’s wonderful! Wonderful! And again, you’re going to be in Kripalu in January.
Sherianna: Yeah, January 30th, which is a weekend. Yeah.
Mal: Nice. And you’ll be doing a 3-day event?
Sherianna: I’m doing three days which is… so I’ve been to Kripalu before and I decided because I wanted to make it so that people could come back so we’re doing three days of just getting to know the basic plans. I also put the C.L.E.A.N.S.E. into the yoga practice so we will C.L.E.A.N.S.E. while we’re practicing yoga and we will C.L.E.A.N.S.E. the steps and you’ll get, by the end of those… really 2 ½ days by the time.
You will know, inside and out, the formula and how to apply it in your daily life. If you want to continue to the 5-day retreat, which is I’m just staying—everyone can stay for a couple more days—we’re going to get into other uses of the plans because I use it as a healing modality and also other things that come up.
I just, like for example, I have the C.L.E.A.N.S.E. for grief, specifically for grief that I’ve written out that works for people who are really in deep grief. And that’s… it’s the same steps but I add a little twist to it, that’s all.
And there’s lots of variations and ways that you can explore the C.L.E.A.N.S.E. So that’s the 5-dayer.
Mal: Nice. I’d love to maybe have you back on to talk about grief because more and more women in my age bracket are losing husbands to illness and I did a speaking event this past Wednesday at a senior center and at least one-third of the women that were there were widowed. They were angry that their partner had died and left them. They were feeling heartbroken and they were having a very difficult time on processing their feelings and dealing with the loss. So it’s a much needed topic.
Sherianna: It is and it’s also natural. I mean, these are all natural things that happen in our lives and I think our emotions are just a natural way for us to explore that and yeah, I’d be happy to talk about grief and that is something I find where people really need some support.
Mal: Well, it’s been wonderful to see you again and to do this. And again, here it is, Emotional Detox for Anxiety, ready for the holidays! I’m so glad I’ve read my copy early. I feel like I’m armored and ready to go out there.
Sherianna: I got to get you the final. You have the advanced version, but I’m going to give you the final because some of the quotes are new.
Mal: Oh, thank you.
Sherianna: I changed some things around so I will make sure you get the brand new one.
Mal: Thank you so much! And again, your website, just give the domain name.
Sherianna: Oh, it’s Sherianna, my full name, it’s S-H-E-R-I-A-N-N-A, Boyle, B-O-Y-L-E, (dot)com (SheriannaBoyle.com), and yeah, they can go to my website, subscribe and you’ll see all the retreats there and the Portugal retreats and everything. If you want to come, Mal, to Portugal.
Mal: Oh, I’d love to. You know, I’m going to be moving so my house goes on the market in April and I hope to be in California in new digs by July 1st. Talk about anxiety and I’m sure they’ll be like, “Whoa!” But, yeah, so I’m going to be a little bit on overload. But that sounds so wonderful!
Sherianna: Yeah.
Mal: Whenever I travel, I’m always doing a class.
Sherianna: So, we’re going to be cleansing the whole time. We’re just like, “Alright, come us, guys. Stop and C.L.E.A.N.S.E.”
Mal: Awesome, awesome!
Sherianna: “Okay, here we are!” It’ll be great.
Mal: Awesome! It sounds wonderful, so thank you!
Sherianna: You’re welcome! Thank you. Thanks for all your support.
Mal: Oh, happy to do it. You’re very talented—author, coach, psychologist. You got it going on, girl! Keep it up.
Sherianna: Thank you. Bye.
Mal: Bye.
SHOW NOTES:
[00:05:00] Introduction of guest, Sherianna Boyle, author of Emotional Detox for Anxiety.
[00:02:26] Introduction to the book and the C.L.E.A.N.S.E. program.
[00:04:58] The first step to the C.L.E.A.N.S.E. Method—C for Clearing Reactivity.
[00:07:25] The second step to the C.L.E.A.N.S.E. Method—L for Looking Inward.
[00:12:53] The third step to the C.L.E.A.N.S.E. Method—E for Emit.
[00:14:43] The rest of the CLEANSE Method—A, N, S, E.
[00:18:06] Differentiating “Stress” versus “Anxiety”.
